Fiancé and in-laws think good photo/video is a waste

If this is important to you, then your FH should be respectful of it. A videographer was important for my FH, but I prefer photos. We are paying for both because we will get what we want. It's freaking NYC! Your FH is being unreasonable.

Here is my opinion. Your money, your decision. My FH could careless for a photographer. I found a photographer I am meeting with next weekend and for my elopement she will charge only $400 which is freaking amazing. To him we can buy a camera for that much and take pics (some how he thinks we know about photography lol) and I am going to talk him into videography for another $400. I flat out told him after we discussed our budget that I will pay for the photography because like you said it is an important day and I want nice pics from someone that knows what she is doing. Truthfully it does not need to be important to him as everything he wants won't be important to you but like the pp said, he needs to be respectful. I would see if you can find a photographer and videographer within your budget, sit down with your fiance that this is important to you and that you respect the budget but since you guys cannot agree, you will take care of this bill without it affecting the budget because you do not want to argue about it but you do not want to skimp on photography which you should not. Hopefully he understands that. I would not accept anymore money from your in laws if they want to control aspects which they can since they're paying but if you two have a certain vision and that want to put reigns on it then I would fund it yourself.

I'd stop sharing budget details with your in laws if they are going to offer to pay for something, then take it back if you don't plan a wedding like they would. It's your money, hire the photographer.

Oh man I'm sorry they are being unsupportive! I think 2 shooters is necessary regardless of the # of people (which 170 is bigger, definitely not small!). That way you can get two different angles for everything! Especially important moments like your first kiss!

You could try researching more for a similar photographer that's a bit cheaper? I don't know if I even want to suggest that because I don't want you to settle for something you don't want!

Maybe let the subject go for a little while, then revisit with just your FH and reiterate how you feel. Sounds like he's being heavily influenced by his family right now, so he's not 100% hearing/understanding how you feel. Good luck lady. I'm on your side on this one

Your in-laws don't get a vote. They can withdraw their money, but after that, it's not their business. I would concur with the suggestion not to discuss wedding details with them.

However, your FI's attitude would be raising red flags with me. It's your money, yet he wants to tell you what to do with it because it will be his, too, after the ceremony? So what does he think your rights to the shared money are after the wedding? Do you have to consult with him about every expenditure, and does he get to veto ones he doesn't agree with? And how about him--do you get to monitor each of his expenses and veto ones you don't like?

It seems to me you need to talk now about your finances after the wedding. I would strongly recommend that each of you have some independent money for which you don't have to account to the other. In the absence of that, wedding photography is likely to be the least of your issues.

It’s a second wedding for me. The photographer is tough. I live in Chicago so not as much as NYC. What was important to me was the photos and owning them. Not some stupid book like first time I got married. My fiancé and I talked about what we wanted. Yes he wants some nice pics but it’s mostly me. I want to captur the memories. You don’t need them there for 12 hours. Maybe there’s a compromise? One for the whole day/ evening and second one for 2-3 hours. After that everyone is drunk anway! Lol. Ask your photographer if there’s an in between.

Wow! My fiance and I just argued about this this afternoon! He wants to purchase a camera because he's a "computer engineer" and figures he knows how to understand photography and photography software. He finally told me if I want an expensive photographer to pay for it myself. I said "fine". This is an important day and the memories last forever.

I encourage you to pay for it yourself, never speak about it again to his parents and keep it moving.

I’ll say that my photographer is the biggest single ticket item for my wedding. I do think it’s super important.

Your in-laws can contribute a set amount of money or not, that is there choice, but they don’t need to have any say so in what you’re choosing. With your fiancé though, I agree with another commenter about talking with him to set a budget and that beyond that he can’t complain about the cost of a single ticket item.