Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Joyce
Savvy April 2013

FH wants 13 Groomsmen!!!!

Joyce, on July 21, 2012 at 3:06 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 24

Ok so I asked my FH how many groomsmen he wants and he names off 13 people!! This is supposed to be a simple beach wedding. Is 13 to many in general?!? He said that they'll want to be a part, isn't there something else we can ask them to do?!?

24 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on July 21, 2012 at 8:52 PM
  • MyLove&HisMrs.
    VIP November 2014
    MyLove&HisMrs. ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    13 is alot! However, if FH wants to have 13, I say let him have 13. If/When problems start, you won't be the bad guy.

    • Reply
  • Carrie
    Master December 2011
    Carrie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would make sure he understands the costs of having that many - boutonnieres, gifts, pay for their meals at the rehearsal dinner etc.

    • Reply
  • FarmersWife
    Expert March 2013
    FarmersWife ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Sounds like an awful lot to me.. but if hes really that close to all of them..

    • Reply
  • Joyce
    Savvy April 2013
    Joyce ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    His argument is that they'll want to be apart of the wedding so he would be fine if they're not all groomsmen but i don't know what else I could have them do... i was thinking ushers but that's a lot of ushers lol

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    That is a huge amount of money. I don't think anyone can be that close to 13 people unless they're on a team....

    They can usher. They can do readings. They can escort moms/aunts/grandmothers. They can pass hors d'oeuvres. Thirteen is too many guys and I betcha if you asked them, they'd be just fine being guests.

    • Reply
  • MyLove&HisMrs.
    VIP November 2014
    MyLove&HisMrs. ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Well, 6 groomsmen, 1 best man and 6 ushers. I would have him choose their roles.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. C
    VIP September 2013
    Mrs. C ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    13 is a lot. It is all about you guys though. If you want them, and it's in your budget, do it. Like Celia said-the more in the wedding party, the more $$ you'll spend (even if you aren't paying for their attire).

    I've seen a wedding with 11, and a wedding with 12 on each side.

    • Reply
  • Joyce
    Savvy April 2013
    Joyce ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Well it's not really in the budget for that many... that's why im freaking out lol

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    VIP April 2011
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Not in the budget? Then I'd tell him that and have him narrow it down. =]

    You could show how much it would cost for him to have 13 groomsmen... guys usually understand better that way. Smiley winking

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    The other thing to keep in mind is that 13 attendants doesn't really go with "simple beachfront wedding". It's entirely too formal for that setting.

    Costs; lets say this is 10 more guys than a small bridal party....

    10 x 15.00 bouts; 150.00

    10 x 25.00 gifts 250.00

    10 x 25.00 dinner 500.00 (and this is minimal, but it includes a guest for each)

    That's almost a thousand bucks. Case made.

    • Reply
  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    The most disorganized wedding I ever officiated had a huge wedding party and no planner. 'Nuff said?

    • Reply
  • S
    Just Said Yes December 2013
    Susan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Is he paying for them, their wedding costs, rehearsal dinner, etc.? If not, put your foot down and tell him, "This is what the budget is...for (3-5 men), please respect that. Anyone over, you'll have to pay for." It's easy for a groom to get caught up, especially when someone else is footing the bill. (This is my second engagement.)

    • Reply
  • Katrina
    Dedicated October 2012
    Katrina ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It's one thing if these are 13 guys who definitely wants at his side, but if it's only because they want to be involved, I agree with MyLove&HisMrs- let them choose. Not only will it be pricey, that's a whole WALL of people blocking a sweet ocean view!

    • Reply
  • Summer
    VIP October 2012
    Summer ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I don't think it's too many Smiley smile My FH will have 1 best man, 7 groomsman and 2 ring bearer's. So 10 Total plus my 10 girls Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Expert August 2013
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    That's funny because my FH said the exact same #! I told him hell no and we are having 7 on eachside. Good luck!

    • Reply
  • Mrs. S™
    Master October 2011
    Mrs. S™ ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It's awesome if you have a 546 people wedding.

    Otherwise, what is wrong with being a wedding guest? Since when is not an honor to be invited to someone's wedding?

    • Reply
  • Courtney
    VIP November 2012
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    If my FH said that, I would tell him to narrow it down, but that's just me.

    Its hard enough trying to wrangle the 3 guys we have now with suit fittings, etc. etc. We spent $100 on gifts for each, and FIL's are paying for the reh. dinner along with their dates.

    If budget is a concern, i would def. cut it down and doing what a few other gals said, have them do a reading, usher. etc. Honestly--I wouldn't think the guys care about this stuff as much as we gals do!

    Good luck!!

    ---side note: on wedding shows or in photos, when the bridal party is HUGE is just looks weird. Its hard to describe!

    • Reply
  • Rissa & Kevin
    Devoted October 2012
    Rissa & Kevin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    That is a lot, but it isn't the first time I've heard this many lol. My friend's sister had up to 15 bridesmaids lol. I think the more bridal party you have, the more costly it is going to be.

    • Reply
  • KitCat
    VIP August 2012
    KitCat ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Ushers. Readings. Soloist. Oh, dear goodness, 13 is a lot of drama just waiting to happen. That is 13 guys, with potentially 13 women..... and I have seen all sorts of BS ensue from the women who aren't even in the bridal party just because their man is. Like... they assume they are because he is. Or, oh he77 no is her many going to be walking with another woman. Or or or or.... Oye. 13. There are other ways to be involved.

    • Reply
  • Andrea
    VIP March 2013
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Joyce- I am so sorry! I read your post and started laughingSmiley smile

    What is he thinking?

    I agree with the ladies use some as ushers and readings!

    Good luck maybe he will change his mind

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics