Feeling like no one cares about our wedding: Vent

Sorrynotsorry but the fact that the BM that is hosting the party won't be there is bullshit.

Im sorry youre feeling down about all of this. Keep your head up! Your wedding will be beautiful and I think theyll get more excited when it fets closer

Were you guys non stop talking about tje wedding the whole engagement?

Yeah and your BM not being their to host your shower at her houseis awful! Id be upset about that also

I'm sorry that you're feeling so sad. I can see how that would be disappointing and lonely. Just try and focus on the fact that this is for you and your FH. Even if no one else is excited for you, be excited that you found and now get to marry each other. That is truly special and worth celebrating!

I'm there with you, it's sad and hard, but remember this is why you have eachother. You two should both be excited and try not to worry about anyone else. It took me a really long time (2 years) to finally be able to be excited and genuinely not care if anyone else (excluding FH) was excited. We stopped talking wedding to anyone but ourselves, and it has made us a lot happier

Yeah that BM is a bit strange if you ask me.

Anyway, yeah I am the only one who cares about my wedding. FH cares part time (wants to marry me but thinks the fanfare is WAY overrated). The vendors care for sure since they are getting paid. LOL!

I love weddings and always take interest in other people's planning but most people don't care how you get from point A to point B when it comes to a wedding. They just want to know where it is and what time does the ceremony / reception start.

Well that's just ridiculous that the BM who's "hosting" the shower isn't gonna be there. Be excited with your FH about wedding planning! Don't let anyone get you down!

Ummm. it's July. You're getting married in the middle of October. My son and FDIL are getting married in early September. Gowns? Suits? Showers? No, they aren't finalized, but we're all on board. We'll get it done. Of course we'll get it done. So will your family.

Do I contact them every day with e-cards loaded with confetti and "We're so excited!" messages? No. Guess why? Because we're busy working and earning. Two weeks prior to the wedding...I'm sure the conversation will become ridiculously animated. Right now...we're dealing with logistics.

Caring about your wedding is one thing. Caring about your bridal shower is another -- they are two different events. The shower is something you shouldn't even be involved in -- and your reaction to the way it's playing out is probably the reason why. Make the differentiation. I know you'll hate hearing this, but wedding showers are not the social event of the season. They're obligatory...need I say more?

Your wedding day is a different story. How do you know that FH's family "has stopped talking about it altogether"? You don't. What you know is that aren't bringing it up in your presence, but I promise you, as the mother of the groom (and the mother of a former and future bride), the family is talking about the wedding.

The dresses and the suits will be there -- ready to be worn -- on your wedding day. Now, here's a great suggestion: you and FH should stop speaking life into "nobody cares about our wedding". Know why? Because on your wedding day, when you stand at the threshold to the aisle, you're going to realize that 24/7 wedding hype isn't proof of your friends' and family members' interest.

Stop it. And I say that with as much love as I can muster for a complete stranger muddled in an emotional misinterpretation.

Thanks guys, I am to the point where I am kind of over it and have a "whatever happens happens" approach and told FH that in the end we will be married and that's all that matters but he was really upset and he is not an emotional guy so it made me sad to see him like that. I couldn't make him feel better and I think that's what is bothering me the most is that he is feeling so down over the whole thing.

Did your bridesmaid say why she won't be at the shower and is handing things off to her aunt?

@MGB she forgot that she bought a (very expensive) ticket to a sporting event months ago for the same date and she had long-standing plans to go to the event with some other friends.

We are in the exact same boat! Minus the bridal party because we don't have one. We've Just kind of stopped bringing people into it all together. Absolutely ready for it to be over.

The BM thing is bullshit.

I too have moments of feeling like people don't really care (mostly FH's side and like you, feeling sad on his behalf), but then similarly to what Rachel said, I remember that people are busy with their own lives and will get excited when it's here. For them, until then it's just a thing in the future.

But really it's just me FH who are excited day to day. That's okay. It's our marriage party after all.

You have to let these feelings pass and not dwell because they're probably not a reflection of reality and you don't want to punish people unintentionally by thinking they don't care.

You can talk all you want about your wedding here. We care!!

@Rachel, I didn't have any part in planning my shower, I just knew about it from the beginning because I was told about it by the host. And I was very polite, friendly and gracious when both BMs said they could not be there. Obviously it's disappointing but I did not express that to BMs. Also, you don't know my family, they really would wait til it's too late on those kinds of things. I understand that our wedding isn't as important to other people as it is to us (as I mentioned first in my post) but it doesn't mean people's behavior isn't disappointing.

I am def at the point of whatever happens,happens. Ive been let down by some of my bridesmaids tried to keep in contact with them and invite them just to hang out and have been getting a cold shoulder. I dont doubt my choices as brides its just tough love that your wedding will only realllyyy be exciting to u

@Johanna if your family doesn't get their attire in time, then they can sit with the rest of the guests. You can't control people beyond giving them direction and you can't babysit adults so... hey... less for you to take responsibility for.

@Johanna Even though we have to get past the hurt feelings for our own sakes, it doesn't mean the disappointment isn't real. I understand. You are right when you say we don't know your family. We cannot judge. And you should definitely feel ok sharing your feelings on here. And we ALL want you to be happy so you can talk wedding all day to us.

I am in a similar situation to yours. My family doesn't even spend much time with me. But when I said I was engaged my sister appointed herself my Maid of Honor. To me, that's a very special role and an honor and I was reserving it for my bestest and dearest friend. She and I invest in our relationship regularly and she says I can talk about the wedding all I want. My family and my sister, on the other hand, never have much time to see me yet sister jumps in to take the most important role. Do I see her or hear from her anymore than I used to? Nope. Another friend of mine has already offered to throw a wedding shower for FH and me and she isn't even in the wedding party. She is just a wonderful friend and she wanted to repay the kindness I showed her when I threw her baby shower a few years ago.

Sometimes families are perplexing. And we cannot change them. We can only broaden our horizons. Sometimes it's those special people that aren't our blood that we end up calling family.

Keep them close. Tend to those relationships like you would tend a garden. Especially the relationship between you and FH. Because when you get married you are your own family now. It's a really amazing thing.

Op, of course I don't know your family. Embrace your disappointment if you want to -- I'm telling you it's a waste of time. Whatever.

The bridal shower hostess thing really sucks. I'd be upset about that. I think by early September they'll get excited again, summer is so busy for everyone.

I LOVE other people's weddings, but I don't really gush about it this far ahead of time.

We are also having an October wedding and our families are also not gushing about it. I think it's just a down period as engagement excitement is over, but wedding excitement hasn't started yet. I think in the last couple weeks before the event things will really change again. I wouldn't take it personally at all, they are just doing their lives and their life isn't the wedding. I'm sorry you are feeling down, but I really think it's just too far out in other people's minds to be thinking about right now.

Do people generally support your marriage and like the two of you together as a couple? If someone I love has a volatile relationship or I think they are rushing into marriage too fast, then I will not be supportive of them getting married and will want to be spared the details. But if you don't fit into either of those categories then I think you're overreacting. When your shower does come, you will realize how much love and support you have from your family and friends.