Faux Pas or Nah: Planning your own bachelor/ette party?

Faux pas! Hopefully the person who is throwing it, is one who can be trusted. I’ve heard some former brides say their decision was based off $$$, with not wanting others to pay for it. One can always discuss a specific amount and pay the party thrower back or give them the funds upfront.

I don't want to plan it honestly. I've told my girls I'll chip in for money or I'll give you ideas of things I would like to do, but I don't want to plan it. I have enough to plan as is.

Faux pas, other than contributing to the date, invite list, etc.

Personally, I get the "don't plan your own shower" and can maybe get on board with not planning an engagement party if you expect gifts, but the bachelor/bachelorette party should be okay to plan. At least in my opinion. Unless you're supposed to get gifts there too, I'm not sure, but I feel like a bachelorette is a way to blow off some steam and party with your friends before the wedding. It's not a faux pas to plan a night out with your friends, or a trip even, so why is the bachelorette party an issue. Anyhow, I probably won't have one. FH and I don't have a wedding party and most of our guests live OOT so it would be kind of hard. We did discuss however planning a "blow off steam" night for each other. Nothing wild or inappropriate, just planning a fun night where we can spend time with our friends before the wedding. I would plan his, and he would plan mine. It seemed like a fun idea but we will see.

Mostly faux pas, because you're essentially throwing yourself a party. I do think it's nice to help plan the details though.

Nah. I’m planning my own because I’m super simple

If I want one I may have to plan it. My first wedding I didn't get one, in fact I sat alone in the hotel room the night before while my MOH went to the bar with her other friends!! My niece is my MOH this time, and i'm not sure with having just had a baby if she'll be up for it

I'd say if you plan it all on your own, you shouldn't expect the ladies in attendance to pay for the expenses for you. Otherwise, it's perfectly fine

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Wow, what your MOH did at your first wedding doesn't sound cool at all. Do you think you want a bach party this time around?

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Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it from that angle. You would be planning a whole wedding as well. I think you've got a good head on your shoulders, Mandy, that is a good offer.

I think it depends on intentions - if your MOH is super busy or you want something that is financially a stretch for your party, then go for it! But, if you're doing it for the control aspect, maybe take a step back.

I also had a friend who didn't have a wedding party because she was having a very small wedding and she planned a really cute weekend for herself that worked out well.

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I would love one, don't want anything crazy. No strippers...I think a slumber party with food wine, and beauty treatments would be fun. My MOH is my niece and i'm not sure if she is planing one or not

I would prefer to plan my own as I'm anti-social and have some eating disorders. It's just less stress for me. However, I let my Niece and Mom plan it. They really enjoyed doing it, even though in the end it got cancelled for my moms health. It's okay though, I actually didn't want one to begin with and would rather have my mom healthy for wedding.

NAH! I picked my maid of honor based on closeness, she is my sister. I did not choose her because I thought she was a good planner. In fact I know if she had planned my bachelorette it would have been more of a mess. First she would be planning form a distance and second I don't think she would know how I wanted to spend the weekend. I am SO HAPPY I planned my own, I am highly organized and was able to map out everything that would be fun for me and something all my friends could enjoy.

If you want to be surprised and have your MOH plan your bachelorette then that's great! Help with logistics and 'must-dos'

I think if you have friends/family willing or wanting to plan it, let them! They’re smaller parties and it leaves less stress on y’all, so you can think about the actual wedding and just enjoy the little things

I think it's fine! My MOH is stressed about planning it because she wants to make sure I get what I want/dreamed of for my bachelorette. She plans to ask other bridesmaids for advice and ask me for help as well.

I would feel weird planning it 100%. But i'm definitely going to be vocal about what I want

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I complete agree with you. In my friend group in general FH and I are the planners for tailgates, game nights, nights out. That's just what our friends expect from us. So why cant we help them plan this "party" because its really just a fun night with all of us.

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This is a very good point! I'm planning on paying my portion anyway so maybe that's why i don't feel weird about helping plan it.

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My thoughts exactly! My sister is also my MOH and she already expressed concerns because she doesn't know what I like to do during a night out because she's less of a drinker! So I told her to either ask other maids or I will help!

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That's one perspective on it, Erica! Has anyone said that they want to throw you a bach party?