Father physically giving the bride's hand to groom?

Yeah that's weird. Our officiant actually asked what kind of wording we wanted, and we decided on "Who escorts this woman.." I really liked that.

Ew.

To be clear, I was vehemently opposed to DF "asking for my hand" from my parents as well. I'm 33 years old, and I've been divorced once. I sure as hell don't need their permission or blessing to get married.

I think people can do as they please. Can't make everyone happy.

The goat joke is funny, but the dad "giving away" is just a symbolic thing just like every other symbolic thing. I'm wearing a white dress am I virgin.....

@MNA 100% agree. I know quite a few ladies that want their boyfriend to ask her father for her hand but then they say "he can't give me away. I'm my own woman" blah blah blah. It amazes me.

My FH did ask my dad (we're is family is very traditional and it doesn't bother me anyway) and he told me later after we were engaged my dad said "good, you can deal with her crazy ass now!" Lol

It's certainly not my taste to do this. Although, to be totally honest, I don't have a great relationship with my Dad so it could just be saltiness from that influencing my opinion.

I told FH that while it was absolutely NOT necessary to ask for my dads permission, that I'd like him to call my dad and give him a heads up that he would be proposing. I'm 29 and have been financially independent and "on my own" for years, but my dad is traditional and I knew it'd be a gesture he would appreciate.

During the ceremony this would be my ideal situation: dad walks me down the aisle, gives me a hug or kiss on the cheek, shakes FH's hand, then has a seat.

I don't like the symbolism of it and thus I won't be doing it at my wedding, but many do and that's okay.

@MNA - I agree that asking a male family member for a woman's hand in marriage is sexist and objectifying. Is it common, though? I don't know a single person who did that. Although, to be fair, a lot of the wedding traditions talked about on WW are not common or even heard of in the Midwest.

eta: read the second page of comments. I guess it is common for people to do that. I've honestly only seen it on TV.

As for myself, I was indifferent if FH asked for my dad's blessing, but I knew it was a gesture my dad would appreciate. He's as old fashioned as it gets, like he just couldn't believe my face won't be covered by my veil during the ceremony. Lol

Anyways, more than anything, I think it was just a heads up that he was planning to propose soon. He also needed to ask permission to have the diamond from my late mother's engagement ring, but that's a whole different story.

It doesn't bother me. If my Dad wants to follow that tradition I'll let him. It's his decision. To me it does feel like I'm kind of being given away (that sounds bad) even thought I've been away from home for almost 20 years. I always turned to my Dad for help. Now I'll be more inclined to turn to my husband. I know my dad feels sad in a way. It's emotional really.

ETA- FH didn't ask permission to marry me but did ask for my Dads blessing. It meant so much to me and especially my Dad.

My dad actually did this at the wedding and once everything was over and I could process the whole sha-bang I was (and still am a bit) pretty pissed about it. We absolutely did NOT rehearse that way and he made it so prominent during the ceremony that it was just awkward...I know I looked at him like "what are you even doing???" He's always said he's dreamed of walking me down the aisle since I was born, so I wouldn't have taken that away from him, but that "hand" gesture didn't sit well with me at all. I was 38 at my wedding...he wasn't "giving" me to anyone at that point, that's for sure...I had been long gone from his home for a very long time. And fwiw, DH also did not ask for his permission to marry me. He went to him before the proposal out of respect to tell him what he was going to do (and also because he arranged for my dad and grandfather to be there so he kind of had to tell him), but there was no request for permission.

It's weird to me, but it's not my ceremony. I've gone to weddings where the officiant asks "who gives this woman to be married?" and the father responds. Again, not my cup of tea, and I know for a FACT that both times the bride was already an independent woman. I think if groom, bride, and father are all ok with it and want it that way, then hey, who am I to judge?

MNA- definitely not me- FH wanted to do the whole proposal thing- I already suggested going band shopping and skipping an engagement ring.

He wanted to do the whole one knee proposal thing.

So he did.

And since it was that important to him- I did the same. I shopped for a ring for him and made special plans and proposed- one knee, photographer and everything.

I don't care so much if others do it it- but for me no thank you. But I also don't have a good working relationship with my father at this point- so that doesn't help.

But I'm a big believer in equality.

I was absolutely on board with skipping the whole proposal thing- it matter to him and I wasn't going to take that away from him.

I had my parents ask me about if he was giving me away and I said no. Apparently the preacher used to ask "who gives this woman to this man" and the dad would say yes. I told my parents no and wasn't really excited about him walking me down the aisle for the same reason, but I didn't feel strongly enough to tell him no, since I knew he wanted to.

Another bride on here just posted a BAM that during the rehearsal dinner, the DOC tried to force her and her dad to do the "placing her hand in her FH's hand" thing. She was appalled and basically ignored it. Who was that, anyone remember?

We do a lot of trash-talking about others' receptions because that's how you thank your guests and there's a certain way to host. But ceremonies are personal and are designed according to what the bride and groom want. You don't have to like it.

And it sounds like you were a BM for this wedding. How would YOU feel if one of your BMs talked shit on a forum about your ceremony?

I'm doing this. I love the idea. I'm a daddy's girl, and let me tell you, it has been a struggle get my dads blessing even though we have 3 boys together. He just wants the best for me, and he wants to present his baby girl. It's not that he ownes me

I've always hated the concept of giving the bride away. I'm my own person and not property. Both my parents walked me down and we had the officiant ask all the parents if they gave their loving support to our marriage.

@Runawaybride pretty sure that was me! Unless some other bride has a similar story, in which case I feel for her...