Family member as officiant - any problems?

My mother's cousin married us, I too preferred this over having a complete stranger marry us. Not that we're super close to him, either, but still better (and cheaper.)

We didn't really have any trouble -- be sure to discuss what will and won't be said up there, rehearse if possible, but I think it can work if properly planned.

Something else I didn't bring up in my weekend post - I've been on the fence about having FH's pastor officiate all along, the reason being that my sister (who is one of my bridesmaids) is gay. Frankly (and this is totally my opinion), I'm uncomfortable being married by a person who wouldn't extend the same courtesy to my sister and her future spouse (same-sex marriage now being legal here in MD). When my sister first came out years ago, my grandparents were some of the first of our relatives to fully accept her news. I'll never forget how kind, loving, and accepting their attitude was and always has been, and that's the vibe that I want my wedding to have, too.

Now granted I haven't even spoken to the pastor, but if us living together was a problem...I'm just not sure I even want to go there with him, ya know? No use creating drama when there may be another even better solution.

I think as long as your FH is cool with it, then do it!

Sounds like it would make it all the more personal and heartfelt!

I think it would be very special to have someone you feel close to officiate your wedding. You will always have that memory!

I feel the same way. A close friend of mine is officiating our wedding.

I think that's a great idea ......my FH's aunt asked if she could marry us he said it would be rude not to accept but I don't feel comfortable with having a woman marry us and I barely know his aunt am I wrong to say no on this?

Totally do it. I'm having my brother officiate mine. We're not religious and I couldn't see someone I don't know doing it. I'm just going to have to get him "Ordained" online.

For those of you who are thinking of doing this, MAKE SURE with your county/state that "online" ordinations are recognized where you are getting married. It would be terrible to go through this and find out that your marriage isn't valid because your state doesn't recognize whatever company/church ordained your family members (and not all states/counties do.)

Check, check again, and triple check. Don't just call the county clerk and ask -- "They said so" won't hold up later on if needed.

Why not, as long as you make 186% sure it's legal. We wanted to have our dear friend officiate ( he has done it before), but VA is a complicated state when it comes to that. Also, as opposed to having the pastor officiate that clearly brings up some unpleasant feelings in you, you can totally personalize the ceremony as you like it.

Thanks Reenski, I didn't think to check at the county level. I'll give the local office a call tomorrow, just to be sure.

I didn't check at the county level either. But can't you get "ordained for a day" with some counties? I've got to look into it.

I had always planned on my Grandfather marrying me, but he was killed two years ago. So I am thinking of having my brother or cousin. Their pay will be free to CA. That is pay enough for them in my opinion.

My Dad married my late husband and I. The only thing that went wrong was I ask my Dad not to say obey in the vows and he did anyway. He said it to my DLH first, My eyes got big as DLH said I will, When he said the same thing to me, I looked around at all out guest looked at him and said "everything but obey" everyone burst out laughing. Other than that everything was great.

I think it's a wonderful idea! My FH and I asked my brother to marry us because we felt hiring a stranger wouldn't be personal enough. He teared up when we asked him and accepted without hesitation.

Yes and No. I served as my twin sister's wedding officiant a few years ago but she treated it casually and did not bring the license to the ceremony. Shame on me! But I was forced to proceed.

Until she and her husband brought the license to me for my signature, the witness's and theirs to mail into the state/county registrar, she and her husband were not legally married. If anything bad had happened to one of them before the license was signed there may have been real liability issues as problems. Yikes!

So beware. If you serve your family members tell them in advance that all professional standards for the wedding are to be upheld and produced on time.

My cousin is marrying us. We are getting all of the readings for him, and paying to have him ordained. We don't belong to a church, and we didn't want a stranger in our wedding pictures.

This person needs to be legal, but they also need to be good. Performing a wedding is more than standing in front of a group and reading stuff.

Of you look at reviews of the good officiants here (or anyone else) you'll see many of their couples say how personal the ceremony felt. Often, even more so than if their family pastor or rabbi did it. That's part of the process of working with an officiant. Very often, I hear comments about how I seemed to know more about the couple than the guests did.......

Sometimes, a very good middle ground is to have a pro 'orchestrate' the ceremony and invite several family members to join in

A group of people gathered for a wedding will be more forgiving to a family member than a professional officiant, but there are many reasons to choose a pro; not the least of which is that they will absolutely show up, perform reliably and be legal. That doesn't always happen with a family member.

But ya didn't think I'd have another viewpoint, did you, lol?

I think this sounds like a wonderful idea! Good luck!!!

We have seen it many times and it has never been an issue. In fact it is more personal and often more emotional than most weddings. We shot a wedding in Guatemala where a male relative from each side participated in marrying the couple. It was really pretty cool. We have also seen best/close friends perform the ceremonies. we have never seen it cause an drama, at all!

My great uncle is marrying us. Were not extremely close to him but we asked him cuz i am a family person and want a family involved wedding. He offered to do it as our wedding gift so its working for us. So far so good!