Falling out after Save-the-Dates were sent...

How long ago was this disagreement?

@Colleen - about a month ago

I know everyone says you need to invite everyone you sent a save the date to but I disagree. You don't have to if you haven't talked and got into a fight. Don't send it.

Doesn't sound like a good friend...do you plan on trying to repair the friendship or are you over it and OK with cutting ties completely? If you still want to be his friend and this is temporary because you are hurt, I would send the invite. But if this is the last straw and you have no plans on mending it, I wouldn't send the invite.

Proper etiquette is anyone who got a save the date gets an invite. This is why many decide to skip STDs all together. End of day it's your wedding and your call.

Not if they're poop heads.

Well said @brieliz!

If you want to save the friendship, then yes i would say send it. Sometimes extending an olive branch and being the bigger person can help.

Why are you sending out your invites this early?

Honestly, this comes down to: Do you ever want to repair this relationship with him? If you see no way or need to repair the relationship then no, you do not need to send him an invitation. If, however, you feel this is someone who will will see often (shared social circle) or you may want a relationship later down the line then yes I would extend that olive branch and let the ball be in his court.

My opinion? Be the bigger person and send the invite. Either he'll come, apologize and rebuild the friendship, or he'll just RSVP no. Is he really so vindictive that he'd come just to stir shit? But not sending the invitation is friendship ending and rude on your part according to traditional etiquette.

I think in extreme circumstances there are exceptions to rules. To me this is one of those circumstances. But like someone else said, keep in mind this will likely completely end the friendship. But if you are ok with that then I wouldn't send an invite to them.

You can invite whomever you want. If you don't want to invite him anymore, don't.

@MrsToBe - we just ordered invites and need to get our final address list over to the printer - invites won't be mailed out until August.

Was he drunk? If so, is he a mouthy, bully drunk?

I would send the invite as a way to be the bigger and more mature person. He can always say no, and if he says yes you could move forward and work on your friendship.

I told you it was a punchy work day...

Ah, ok. I was just curious.

If you want to repair the friendship, I would reach out and do that first, separate from the wedding invitation. You have a little bit of time.

If you aren't interested in that, then it doesn't really matter if it goes against etiquette to not invite him. If the friendship is over, he won't be expecting an invitation.

@Going to the chapel - he was drunk and is a mouthy, bully drunk. He is also mouthy when he's sober, though. We were friends initially because we worked together and he basically only uses FH for his connections within his company so we're questioning how genuine the friendship was to begin with. I keep saying to be the bigger person and FH keeps saying that "drunkenness reveals what soberness conceals"

We also joke that he will show up and give us a card with an invoice for the amount we disagreed about that night! (We have to find some humor in this!!)

I don't know how much more info you want to give but I'm also wondering if he was drunk? Was this completely uncharacteristic of him? How close were you with him before this? All of those things would factor in with me. There's no excuse for his behavior because it was rude and not something you do to a friend. And the fact that he hasn't reached out to apologize says he doesn't care enough about the friendship, so I'd be inclined to not send the invite. But if you have hopes of rekindling the relationship, send an invite and if he declines then you know that's the end of that friendship.

ETA: Just saw your other comment. I definitely say no invite. You don't need someone like that in your life or at your wedding.

I think that un-inviting someone after STD's go out are OK if you are fine letting go of that friendship forever.