Etiquette question about invites ...

I will send separate invites to over 18s still living at home. Granted, I don't have too many of those but I spent so much on the invites to begin with this isn't that much of a stretch on the budget at the end of the day.

Ok, my male cousin could have cared less about getting his own. His sister was away at college... I send a "family" invite to my Aunt and Uncles house and put my cousins name on the invite. It is up to you if you want them to be able to bring a date. If it is addressed to the adults and kids (cousins) only then hopefully they won't bring a date if you don't want them to. If you want to give them the option of plus one... then you might want to give them their own.

Although I am usually quite the stickler for proper etiquette, I think, times being as they are, it would be perfectly appropriate to add their name on a separate address line both on the inside and outside envelopes.

If they are in the same house I'm including everyone on one invite. I just don't want to waste money on an extra invite just because of their age.

For the couple we had in that circumstance, we did mail them separate invitations. I honestly was not aware that ettiquette dictated it, but since they are "college ' students and although living at home, we found it fitting that they should also be treated as adults.....and rcve their own invites.....

I've never gotten my own invite for my family members' weddings and there have been plenty since I turned 18. Of course unless I was physically in the wedding, I wasn't allowed a date. So hmmm I guess I'll see ...

If they were in the same house, I sent the invite to their parents and the son/daughter. I don't think anyone would mind.

We are for some of my cousins that are over 18 but not by much (college age). But I also have two cousins that are older (30's) that are temporarily back home with my aunt and uncle due to a situation. I think for them I will send separate invites.

Sometimes you have to throw etiquette out the window and do what is best for you!

This is one of the areas I am terribly overspending and since we do not have a lot of adults living at home on the list, I am sending them their own separate invite as well.

I sent separate invites to my one cousin because I wanted it clear he was allowed to bring his GF (he's only maybe 17 but they've been together for 4 years) and same with my Sister and her friend. They share a house but I mailed them each their own invite because my sister has her "family", daughter and BF, and her housemate might want to bring a guest.

My dad had issues with this because they are at the same address, but I wanted the plus ones clear.

If they are still college age and living at home, I would include them in the parents and not feel so bad. but, if they are older than 21/22, I would send them their own.

it also makes a difference who it is and how much you care about them coming. girls are generally going to care more and appreciate getting their own invite than guys.

if its a closer friend/cousin you want to truly feel invited, then send them their own. if its a distant cousin/family member who you dont really care about coming, then include them on the family one.

I may take some heat for this- but sorry- if you are still living at home- you are not an adult or seperate family. You do not deserve your own invite- you can be included on your parents invitation.

And as a side note- most 18 year olds aren't going to know you broke that ettiquette rule. They'll just look at the stamp and mailbox and marvel that the invite didn't come through Facebook anyway...

Thank goodness I don't have to deal with this one. I am not inviting offspring.

I am breakling a serious ettiquette rule. Frankly, I don't care. FH's brother lives in California. He has two daughters who are over 21 and are invited, but we invited them knowing they would not be coming. While they all don't live in the same house, I am sending one invite to the ">>>>> Family". On the inside, I am writing out everyone. This is a serious ettiquette violation, but I don't care. Hell, one got married in July 2010, and we still haven't received a thank you.

And yes, I am mailing my 16 year old daughter an invite, but that is because she is my daughter, and she will keep it and put it in her scrap book.

I'm doing both. If I want to invite them, I am sending a separate invitation. For example, in one household, we are inviting the father, and the adult son will get his own invitation - but not the "baby mama" who isn't invited at all (much family drama we don't want to have at our wedding).

MOH will get her own invitation even though she lives with her parents. It is intended to be a keepsake for her.

But, I have some relatives that invited themselves. I was already planning to invite the parent, so I am just going to include the adult children on the parent's invite. I don't have a relationship with them and don't even know where they live so I don't have an address; and I don't intend to ask for their address either.

@ rlg510 that's the way to go if you want to keep it clear that baby mama ain't invited ... LOL

I'll probably send invites to my cousins who live at home and are over 18 (it's very commonplace in my family, to not live with your FS until right before the wedding or right after the wedding, so I see nothing wrong with living at home with the parents, especially if you aren't just laying around all day, eating all their food, and free loading off them.)

Or even just living alone till you are married ... very commonplace ...

Just add their names to the one invite! Most of them will not care either way - and if you send separate ones they maybe confused on the RSVP, and only send one back!!