Etiquette FU- no ring, no bring= not bad

That's a silly policy and this is a silly post. You might want to expect extra guests at your wedding. Maybe the reason you haven't gotten any "push back" is because they are planning on bringing their significant others anyway.

I didnt post this to ask for opinions. Just to share my experience. We won't be changing anything. We dont owe anyone an invitation to our wedding. (and yes we have gone to many weddings without each other)

You posted on a public forum, it comes with opinions.

The "no ring, no bring' rule is the stupidest f***ing thing I've ever heard. A lot of people don't plan on getting married - ever - so they can't bring their life partner to your wedding? Just because they've made a personal choice not to marry?

You sound like a jerk, honestly.

So since you all deem her as rude its okay to be rude to her and call her names??? Okay let me know when that starts to make sense....

Her post title starts with 'Etiquette FU'…which implies a big, fat 'F*** you!' to her guests, who she doesn't seem to care about very much. I think calling her a jerk is fair.

Wow guys, what is this, the knot? Juuudgemental. Yes, the title was a bit misleading because she didn't only invite guests who were married- she just didn't invite guests she didn't know. I did give every adult guest for my wedding a guest, even if I wasn't aware of them having a sig other. But you know what? I wish I hadn't; not one of those people is bringing a guest, and we have a significantly lower count than we were anticipating. The reality is we only invited people we knew well, so we knew all of their significant others too, and none of our friends are rude enough to bring "random person I just met". But, I can see that being a concern if people have some friends who don't think about that, or relatives who live in the area and are kind of rude. Luckily all of our relatives live far away, so they wouldn't be able to do something like that, so we didn't have any issues with that either. I think you can certainly make that a rule if you know your guests. And, personally, if someone came, but were insulted without telling me, then I don't need them to be my friend. Friends talk to each other when they are upset. For example, we weren't inviting kids to our wedding, but two people talked to us, and we told them it was fine to bring their kids. I mean, "I have a nursing baby and can't leave her at home" is a fine reason- just talk to me, I'm a reaonable person. However, if someone didn't bring their kid, comes, and is seething underneath while never telling me? They can suck it. I don't need people like that in my life; I don't do drama.

If it worked out for her, I don't see the problem. the first thing that people say when how to cut costs is to cut the guest list. That's what she did. Just in a way that she chose that others might consider to be against common etiquette.

Through your responses I deducted that you say its your policy, but you're only really applying it to a few people. So its actually "no ring, no bring...unless your anyone other two groups of specific people." I dont think, once people start listening to how you're actually applying the rule, people would be so made if it weren't for The "FU" in The title.

@windinyourhair Cutting the guest list does not mean splitting couples apart. If you need to cut the guest list, then you're supposed to remove entire couples. I would be more offended to be invited alone, then for me and FH to not be invited at all.

I personally don't see anything wrong with only inviting people you know. I found out after the fact that some of my friends didn't invite me and I get it. wedding are expensive. you want to invite as many people as you can afford, so why waste a guest on someone you don't know? I separated some couples because they RSVP'd as one and then got a boyfriend and asked me a few weeks before the wedding if they could bring them. I said no because I couldn't afford it, but if they want to do a double date sometime I'd love to.

I just think you guys are seriously over reacting. if she wanted to invite only left handed people who cares, it's her wedding. if people want to be insulted then they can be. she said it worked out for her, and she wasn't black and white in doing it. She made some exceptions but for the most part stuck to her "rules". like she said, most couples that the rule would have applied to live out of state and likely couldn't have come anyways.

FU = follow up.. Not fcuk you.

Thanks for The clarification! FU etiquette sounds so bad! Im going stick with "follow up" instead. So easily confused.

Lol I read it as follow up. I'm so used to the wedding short hand I didn't even read it otherwise!

You might want to change your title - FU usually means "F*** you." I was thinking you were presumptuous and arrogant to say "FU etiquette," but knowing that you mean "follow up," I get it.

I thought FU meant fu-- you as well LOL

part of the reason why I didn't touch this post...but what a read!

They may not say they have a problem with it but they might not bring as nice of a gift as they would have if their SO was invited. I know you shouldn't care about gifts...but be nice to your guests and they will be nice to you!

I highly recommend hiring security. If someone doesn't wear their ring our takes it off I'd want them promptly removed. I also recommend a public records check to verify the validity of those claiming to be married.

Okay, being one of the guests whose relationship isn't validated by the bride would suck. You're inviting them to a celebration of love but denying them of the ability to share in it with someone they love. Weddings are romantic, even if it's someone else's wedding. The ceremony, the music, even the lighting. We all know that. Would you want to go to a romantic movie alone? Romantic dinner? Like you said it's only about 7 people who you're applying this rule to, and you know some of them won't make it, if I read that right. So are a maximum of 7 unfamiliar faces going to ruin your wedding; enough that you'll risk hurting your guests feelings? I know you said you basically don't care about their feelings or if they're upset, so if you don't genuinely care about them, why invite them?

Well whatever floats your boat. I know if my FH wasn't invited somewhere you would not see me either. Also not being apart from someone a couple of hours does not mean you are in a unhealthy relationship its called respect. Why would I attend somewhere my FH isn't wanted? thats absurd.