Engagement Envy? Confessions

I havent experienced it with engagements, but with babies. I've always wanted kids, in Nov I'm hitting 29, & it's like I'm not getting any younger lol. FH is 4 yrs younger; he doesnt understand the concept of my bio clock ticking, he thinks it's BS & thinks I'll be able to reproduce at any point. Maybe so but I've had an unstable history in the vag - ovaries dept. Not to mention we cant afford to move out of our crowded 1bdrm apt, & besides having enough to save for wedding, our finances suck. So when I've seen my friends all having babies, or having houses even, I get jealous. But I'm still so happy they have those things in their life, it's their time & I know my time will come too.

I think it's natural to want what someone else has, or to want the spotlight on us. Jealousy is looked at like a horrible thing, but it's just a basic human emotion & reaction. I think the only time it becomes a problem is if you act on it, like try to ruin their happiness.

I guess it's always something. Kind of a keeping up with the Jones' mentality. I know that having a baby is not only social pressure but also biological instinct, so I totally get what you're saying. Plus- it really doesn't help that everyone is probably like "When are you going to have babies!?" It's the rudest statement ever. I thought "When will you be getting married?" or "You're next!!!" were the worst. Good luck, though!

A saying that sticks with me is "Blowing out another person's candle will not make yours shine any brighter" and it's so true!

I know how you feel. I wouldn't call it jealousy just annoyance. Not because they are engaged but I feel suspicious of the timing. I have a friend that can't stand attention on anyone else so when FOUR days after I told her I was engaged she came back and said he just proposed the night before I was a little suspicious.

@MasqueradeBride I understand how you feel about babies. I'm 31 and want children so bad. FH is 34 but he already has two boys (16 & 12) and though he is ok with us having a baby he is in no rush.

My ex MOH had the feeling when I got engaged, the green eyed monster. And ugh it was even more annoying when she did get engaged. The first date she picked for her wedding was April 20th... the exact week before mine. Why? because she's evil I discovered.... hence the ex MOH

Yes, annoyance is the perfect word @Brandi!!

@Steph I had a friend tell me yesterday that if she got engaged this year she was going to have her wedding in March of next year. What?! NO. Ugh!

FH and I really want to have kids.. But I don't want to stress myself out thinking about it. I am 32, he's 31. We're 7 months apart. sigh. I can't wait!

@Jennapie, what annoyed me most about it is she played innocent. like she didn't know the date of my wedding. She was with me to put the deposit down on the venue! AND She wrote it in her Iphone... bull poopie that you didn't know! still get upset as you can tell... LOL

Seems like a serious case of vindictive jealousy. Glad she is the exMOH

OMG the baby questions are so annoying, my mom has started them, & worse she's pressuring us to search for a house. Ugh I'm trying to get rid of debt right now, not add more.

Steph: omg that really happened? I've heard (on WW) ladies having friends getting married same month, which is no problem at all, you only get a day afterall. But the same week? It's not like she's a stranger, that is evil lol

Yeah. I had a lot of drama in my life for a like the first year of my engagement. The last six months have been a breeze! :o)

Not so much after the engagement, but before for sure. FH and I had been together 6 years before we got engaged and one of my roommates, who had been dating her boyfriend for less than 6 months got engaged, I was EXTRA annoyed. Specifically because it's plain to see that they have some serious issues to work out. i.e. he makes and will always make significantly more than her father ever did, which results in them not being able to live where she wants; his mom hates her, etc.

I've felt that twinge after too, but then I remember that all these people getting engaged will be jealous of me when my wedding happens before theirs

I can understand how you feel about that. We as brides have waited for the day that we would get married and while yes your friends engagements are separate, you can't help but feel like you want the social event of the season to be your wedding. It makes it a tad harder when others in your close group of friends are hoping for the same. Especially if some of you will have some of the same guests. Just remember though that each of you will have your own special day and you will make fabulous memories.

I feel ya, not so much now, but before I was engaged. I'd see FB updates & it was like "oh good, another couple is engaged" (this was slightly sarcastic of course).

The big one was when my close friend got engaged first. They'd been together for less time than we had, they're younger than us & I knew that they weren't ready like we were. She called & was so excited, I felt so bad for being jealous :/ Now they've put their engagement on hold though & are going through counseling... I knew they weren't ready, but I feel awful for her.

I feel lit. One of our groomsman may be getting married a week before us....ugh. They haven't set anything but its like REALLY?????

For me, "jealous" isn't quite the right word... There are people I know who have dated for a much shorter period of time with WAY more relationship issues and were engaged/married before us. My FH and I have been dating since we were 16 (we are now 25). It was more disbelief than anything. There are very few ppl that I know that are engaged/married that are actually at a point where I feel like I can truly be happy for them. I feel like a lot of them aren't emotionally ready, but there is nothing that I can say- its not my business. I just wish for them all the happiness in the world.

I don't really have those same feelings, but no one who got engaged after me is getting married before me. I can see how if they picked the same time or whatever, you'd kind of feel like you were having to share the spotlight, but friends that got engaged this year are getting married after me, so I don't feel like it's really even related to me.

@Kasey...so well said. Thank you!!

@AmyV....oh I do love to hate...

@ Kasey that is true but in Steph and my case. A week before! Is kinda like really? You really want that date. I was almost snarky when they told us but I just slowly walked away.

OMG my fh coworkers did the same thing! He isnt in the wedding thank god, but they picked 2 weeks before us!! She approached me to ask if it was ok, and they did get engaged first, but she already knew our date. What was I supposed to say, no, you can't have that date? It worked out fine though...

Negative emotions are normal to have as a human but I like to try to be positive. Keep the positive feelings and energy flowing. It has been said that humans tend to go negative and it takes 10 positive thoughts to overcome 1 negative thought. So. IMO...I really try to focus on the positive factors of the situation.