Dry Weddings are a hot topic on here, but...

Yeah I can see why she would be worried about her FMIL's judgment. But there is a risk, since you have a few relatives that do drink, and they are used to dry weddings, that some people will bring flasks or drinks in their cars. The best way to control that risk is by providing some alcohol served by certified bartenders. She can talk to the bartenders beforehand and let them know it's a big priority to make sure no one is over served. She can even include her FMIL in that discussion so she knows they're on the same page.

Truth...

FFS Brooke, how old are you? I haven't had to sneak alcohol since I was 16. If you can't tell your parents that you drink, do you really think you are mature enough to get married?

Let adults be adults and handle themselves with alcohol. My FH family is significantly Mormon. They don't drink, in fact they oppose it. But we have options available for them too.

I went to a wedding where they only had 1 type of beer and I side-eyed the crap out of the bride and groom. Here I spent $ on gift, came early because I was asked to be an usher and you expect me to stay late with no alcohol? Psh no thanks it's too boring I'll drink my wine at home

Not having alcohol at her wedding is not going to save or fix her relationship with her FMIL.

We had a dry wedding. DH's entire family are teetotalers, and his mom and dad own a church and his dad is a Pastor. Our wedding was dry out of respect for them. Here's what happened:

Half of his family didn't come (10 people), and the rest left immediately following the ceremony. The best woman's fiancé had brought his own beer & kept it in his vehicle, going back and forth to imbibe. The rest of the guests that decided they wanted to drink got into our liquor cabinet (which was perfectly fine with me; we had a backyard wedding). We only had 35 guests, so my personal liquor was enough for those that wanted to drink, but I wish we had just had alcohol to begin with.

Tell your sister get that stick out of her ass & provide alcohol.

@Jennifer H. Great question.

It isn't set in stone yet, but she is planning a 5 o'clock wedding, but a "refreshment hour" and then dinner and dancing.

It doesn't sound as though it will be the same kind of reception as everyone else is talking about though. There will be limited young people there. Wedding party and maybe a few extra. Mainly what will happen, (which happened my my wedding, my cousins wedding on Saturday, and my other cousins four years ago) my Grandmother's sisters - will be the main ones dancing. And even then - it is only if it is line dances and shag music. Lol.

This photo is from my cousins wedding this weekend. Everyone except that guy in the front was totally sober. Oh and me. I'm in the Navy dress. I drank... Other than that, none of the dancers drank. That guy however... I don't know what he was on, but I needed some. LOL

@Special - whereas I would normally agree with you, I don't on this one. My sister and I are very close. I know her friends better than she does. We work 10 hours a day with each other Monday - Friday, each dinner together once or twice a week, and have breakfast with each other once a weekend. Sometimes twice. And we hang out with the exact same crowd of people. We're basically twins that are five years apart. Hahaha. She'll probably get pissed that I've put her story out here, but it won't go much further than that. But I definitely appreciate your comment and advice.

@Mrs_MLF, whereas I can see how you feel and why you feel that way, I don't really think it's appropriate to tell anyone to take a stick out of their ass when they have a few good points and concerns. Especially when she isn't even the one asking for comments - that would be me.

But I appreciate your gesture and trying to give sound advice.

How can one glass of wine be enough for someone to loosen up enough to dance? One glass of wine has the same effect on me as one glass of water lol. I'm going to need a lot more than one glass of wine lol.

I love how Centerpiece summed it up!

Controlling someone's personal refrigerator is over the top, ridiculously off limits.

Hell, there will literally be only four (yep 4!) people who drink at my wedding. Just myself, 2 of my brothers, and my SIL. I planned a ceremony/reception for 1pm-4:30pm knowing my crowd doesn't drink or dance. I'm STILL providing alcohol for us 4. My brothers and I have narrowed it down to wine or mimosas, but there will be something. ETA: My guests are a mix of super Southern Baptists (most of them) or those in recovery or minors (11 out of 48)...just to share the reasons.

I am having a full bar at my wedding even though both FH and I don't drink. (In recovery for years now)

Receptions are about hosting, and good hosts provide alcohol.

My comment is more geared to the FIL. I don't think having a dry wedding is going to help her opinion if it's as bad as you say. You can't make people like you. She isn't the only one responsible for keeping the peace. If they don't want to welcome her to the family, it's their problem. She can't change who she is.

@pris I was wondering what people who are in recovery do. Thanks for sharing.

@Celia Milton, welcome to where I live at in North Carolina... Where they burn crosses in your front yard and anonymously send hate mail. My DH received a letter about 9-10yrs ago saying he was going to hell for having long hair. This is how these people are.

So for our wedding... None of the church was invited aside from his parents and family. I used my preacher, not his. And as where mine didn't like it, he didn't drink. Actually, he left right after photos because of a trip to Florida to be with his mother. So it all worked out. But either way... this is where we live.

Read the book, "Devil in pew Seven" that happened about a mile and a half from miles from my house.

@MrsMcPherson a 5 pm wedding with dinner I would at least expect a paired wine option.

We're doing a champagne toast and providing a sparkling grape juice alternative. We may do beer/wine, but we aren't definitely aren't doing hard liquor but we're having a short afternoon reception with basically heavy hors d'oeurves. We as well as our guests will be gone by 5:30 or so and there's no full meal or dance the night away party. I know some will rail of the faux pas, but this is actually a "big, fancy wedding" compared to several of our friends in the region. We've explained it to out-of-towners who may expect the typical full dinner, etc., but most of those know us and the region and so it's really a surprise. Since we're talking early afternoon with no a very come and go reception, it's not as needed. And I certainly won't be in tears if people leave after seeing us and saying hello. It's just a different attitude/culture regarding what it means to throw a wedding.

To the alcohol is part of a good party comments, I would say that is also some what regional/cultural. I have some friends who would be severely offended if they were given alcohol or asked to serve it at a party. Part of being a good guest is excepting what is offered by the host. I don't expect alcohol at a party unless it's specifically mentioned nor at someone's house for dinner. Again, I drink and I'm not judging anyone, but I would say before everyone assumes a dry wedding is bad hosting to realize there are certain places where it is the norm.

We'll see how it goes! I appreciate all of your comments.

I mean come on .. can't you at least give your guests free drinks and something to eat

I don't really drink, except the rare glass of bubbly on occasion. FH cannot drink; he has a liver condition that means it's medically forbidden to him. We will still be hosting alcohol for the whole night. Our rationale is that this our PARTY, the big one, the most exciting and expensive celebration we are ever likely to throw in our lives. We want every moment of it to be huge fun for our guests. On such a momentous occasion, and with so much already invested, why would we skimp on something so basic to guest enjoyment? Why throw up a roadblock to people having an amazing night before we even begin?

FH's family is southern baptist and very against drinking, but we're having beer and wine because we want it and my family drinks as well. (I don't want to say big drinkers because that sounds so bad lol)

But moral of the story is we're doing it even though they won't like it. If it causes his family to leave earlier than they would normally, than so be it. We'll be there celebrating the whole time no matter who is drinking a who isn't.

ETA: if it comes up with my future in laws we are telling them that my parents want it there, and they are providing the funding for it. Even though it's not totally true...