Dry Weddings are a hot topic on here, but...

I'm not disagreeing with any of what you all have said. (Frankly, I agree.) But I am going to play devil's advocate here...

Aside from 1) and 3) mentioned in my comment above... We also have these to think about - 4) The event will be held out in the middle of freaking no where. If someone wants a drink and is willing to drive to a lo all bar or an establishment to get something - they'll be driving 30+ minutes. 5) If they have something in their trunk and want to tailgate, that could be a possibility because it is a Farm/Barn wedding. You park 40ft from the barn anyway. 6) They are an non-alcoholic couple anyway... She'll have a drink occasionally, but she doesn't meet it by far. So yes... She is obviously thinking since 80% of the people (which were at my wedding) will not drink (my wedding party and about 8 family members drank). They are viewing it as pointless.

Again, I agree with you all. I'm just playing devil's advocate.

Easy solutions are:

1. Consumption bar

2. Open bar with wine, beer, and signature drink

3. Have an early afternoon, non mealtime hour cake and punch reception

Having a professional bartender will prevent any over drinking, her fear

There was just a post today from a bride that attended a dry wedding that was SUPER boring...show her that post.

My automatic thought wouldn't be that its rude really.. some people I know don't drink or had church weddings and receptions so alcohol wasn't possible.. I'm also from a dry county so that probably has a lot to do with my thoughts haha. I know a lot of people feel differently though. maybe your sister could do like other comments and have a beer / wine type of deal with no hard liqueur.. maybe they could do some pre mixed cocktails in mason jars and if they're looking like lemonade the FMIL would be none the wiser.

@Zoe really? Alcoholism? Come on. But anyway, sure the couple might onlly be friends with people who don't drink (unlikely that it would be everyone), but you don't choose your family, and from OP's wedding, their family has some people who enjoy a cocktail and who would be disappointed to find out they couldn't have a glass of wine with dinner.

I am not a huge drinker by any means, some weddings I go to I might stop after the champagne toast depending on my mood. But it is nice to give people a choice to enjoy some spirits. It's like (okay, I am going there), not everyone will need to use the restroom, so no TP for anyone! It just doesn't work that way. I wouldn't want to have to bring my own TP. lol. Even if my car was close by to keep it in.

I appreciate all of the feedback. I'm going to link her to this topic so that she can read.

Nobody wants to be at a wedding with no alcohol whatsoever. The actions of a few should not make you want to host improperly.

@Zoe - People can drink socially without getting drunk, and yes the expectation is that as an adult, when I go to adult parties, there will be alcohol. Hell, there is alcohol at most of the parties for children I go to (for the adults). However, I come from an area that has a more respectable drinking age and we don't demonise people for wanting a drink or two at adult parties.

FTR, I had never heard of dry weddings before coming on here. All the weddings I have ever been to have been some form of open bar.

Yeah I really think the best reasoning in this situation is that if she provides beer and wine, she can have bartenders controlling the serving of said beer and wine. She can tell her FMIL that "Yes a couple people in my family drink, having the bartenders serve them is the best way to keep things under control."

No, the odds are that if you're having a dry wedding, you're cheap as F%##)k and don't care if your guests want a glass of wine or not.

And Zoe? Move along now. Most adults have limited free time. If they choose to spend it at your wedding, they should be able to have an adult beverage.

I'm having a dry event, Mostly because reasons of both of us are under 21 and the venue doesn't have a bar so having a bartender come out was unfortunately a cut we had to make on the budget. That being said If you can do just wine and have limited amount of it I think it provides enough social lubricant to encourage mingling but not so much that it get out of hand.

I guess one question is she is she having the type of reception people are talking about here? I've been to several weddings where in addition to no alcohol there was no dancing and the reception was more grab your cake, say hi to the couple, and leave. Usually these are in the morning or afternoon. It's a different style but I've been to weddings where the entire church was invited (or practically the entire town it felt like in some cases). I was actually maid of honor in one such wedding (and trust me it was an interesting bachelorette party to plan as well) and it certainly didn't feel rude, it's just a different style than what a lot of people on here are having. But if that's not typical where you are I would be sure that it gets communicated to guests. I would also say it seems more of a faux pas at say an evening reception/dinner than at like an 11 am wedding with a brunch reception. (Although, is it really brunch without mimosas?0

@Salisbride - you just reminded me of something else I forgot to mention.

Where we are from - dry weddings are very common. We come from a place where out church doctrine says if you have alcohol in your refrigerator or drink it - you will be kicked out. It is a very dry county. Not that it really influenced my wedding. I wanted alcohol, but this does play a part when it comes to her FILs. (Aside from her and her FH just not wanting it.)

@Zoe what are your qualifications to make a diagnosis of substance abuse or dependence? Please enlighten me.

Oh people will be kicked out of church for having alcohol at home? Wow. What denomination is it?

@SalisBride Southern Baptist. We're lucky we can dance... Lol. It is straight out of Footloose.

I honestly think it's her wedding, and you should let her do what she wants. If your intention is to show her all these responses, it could backfire and end up with her pissed off, and possible either A) Not talking to you, or B) Cutting you out of any wedding planning help at all. And I don't know about you, but some drinks just aren't worth that. She knows her in-laws and friends better than you. You got to plan your wedding, however you wanted... she should be allowed the same. You gave her your opinion, she didn't have to take it... and so she didn't. Leave her be.

I disagree. I do not think it is rude to veto alcohol. Its her wedding, so it's her decision. My FH and I both drink but there will not be alcohol at our wedding. My parents are completely against it (they don't even know I drink). His family will probably have an after party for their side at someone's house so that they can drink. And that's fine because we will be on our way to our honeymoon anyways. If our guests come they are coming to watch you celebrate a union. If they are only coming for the free alcohol I wouldn't want them there anyways. You are already feeding them an awesome meal and allowing them to share in what is hopefully one of the best days of your life. Alcohol should in no way be a requirement to have a wedding. She has to spend the rest of her life with the in laws. Leave her be.