Dry wedding but for religious purpose

Yeah I wouldn't expect any alcohol at the wedding of a pastor.

But I also wouldn't expect "secular" music either. So I wouldn't be dancing.

If you can compromise with your FH on a consumption bar for your drinking folks, that would be great.

Listen it's both of your wedding and he allowed you everything you want with that one exception. Why even argue the matter. If they come to drink instead of sharing a great time that I'm sure your going to provide then they can leave. But you do have to remember it is an event to share your lives together with each other. Not to worry about pleasing a few guest who wouldn't miss the drinks if they are having fun. Always remember what's more important. Would your conscience be okay knowing you talked your FH into something he is not comfortable with. He maybe okay with drinking but its all in the matter of respect he have for the invites that he knows is against it. If majority of the people do not drink anyway then why push the matter. There are other ways to enjoy a wedding other than drinking.

Growing up my family was good friends with our pastor - he drank regularly at our house, and my parents did at his - just because he's a pastor doesn't automatically mean he doesn't drink - that's a choice he's made.

It does not actually sound like it's a religious reason, more that it's his choice - and that's being rude to guests. Have a consumption bar with wine and beer would be a good compromise, if you're both interested in treating that portion of your guests that do drink well. People who don't drink won't be force fed shots or shotgunning beers, but those who would like a glass of wine would be afforded that opportunity.

ETA: him "allowing you" everything you want sounds like he's definitely in charge, to the point that you don't get to make a say. Sometimes the way we word things sounds worse than it is, other times it shows how were really feel. Make sure you take a look at your situation and feel comfortable with however it is going forward.

Maybe UO but I don't think a dry wedding is ok for any reason even religion. If 85 percent of your guests don't drink, why do the rest have to suffer? People who don't drink often normally will frequently have a glass of wine or champagne at a celebration like a wedding. You need to serve alcohol. Do a consumption bar so you only pay for what people drink.

He is okay with you drinking and spending money on alcohol. So why would he not be okay with his guests drinking? I dont understand that logic. If you both were strictly abstinent, I would be more understanding. Similar to if a couple were both strictly vegetarians for ethical reasons, I wouldn't expect meat at their wedding. But if one is vegetarian and other does eat meat, I would find it odd if their reception was exclusively vegetarian. Eta: To go off S&J point, what type of reception are you anticipating? A simple dinner reception with nice background music? Or a party all night vibe? If it is the former, then I think a dry wedding could be okay. But if it is the later, I would find it odd. Secular music is okay, but alcohol is not?

@Courtney, no. The guests who do drink aren't going to say 'well atleast she provided us these mocktails!'

Even religious people drink. I hate when I see that on here. FH is very religious and works in the church. He also drinks alcohol. It doesn't have to be one or the other!

You should properly host your guests with alcohol.

Pastors drink. Every single pastor I know, including me drinks. I have never understood the concept that religious people don't, nor do I understand what that really proves. No one has successfully managed to show me any scripture that makes drinking 'unreligious'.

If you're inviting one person who drinks, you need to have wine and beer. You don't need to have vodka flumes, but you do need to have something.

I am also troubled by the statement that he's 'let you have' everything you desire. Marriages are partnerships, not situations where one person 'lets' the other have things.

But his wish for a dry wedding is not reasonable; he's trying to push his behaviour on others, and that's not right. If he doesn't want to drink, he doesn't have to. but If you have guests that do? They should be allowed to.

You're wrong Abigail. This is not a question of their relationship. It's a question of good hosting.

And do we REALLY need to have a dry wedding post every day?

Just following on what Polly said above-- I think if you DO decide to do a wine / beer option, I would avoid moscato or have it be one of two white options, at most. If you're offering a limited selection I'd err on the side of offering something that's broadly popular, and sweet wines can be polarizing.

If I knew the pastor or his/her future spouse drank, I would expect alcohol at their wedding.

If they both were against the use of alcohol and thought drinking one drop of alcohol was a sin, then I would not expect there to be any alcohol at their wedding.

BlueHenBride, said it perfectly. If I know that at least one of you drinks, I'm going to expect alcohol. It sounds like he does not believe consuming alcohol is a sin, since he has no problem with you drinking. So that means, it's a personal preference, NOT a religious reason.

OP would you mind specifying the religion? That could possibly clear some things up

B.roo nailed it. As I said, no one has ever been able to give me one biblically sound argument for not drinking. The beer parties at my seminary (one of the most prestigious in the country) were among the most popular nights....

I'm not doing alcohol at mine I'm doing Welch's sparkling cider

@Monique that sounds terrible.

I think in your case I would not expect there to be alcohol because it is a pastor's wedding.

If I were attending my pastor's wedding, I would still expect alcohol. But that's because my church is awesome and the pastor brews his own beer with congregation members.

That said, I've also been to churches were alcohol was more taboo. In a different church setting, I wouldn't be put off by a dry wedding under these circumstances, especially if it was in the afternoon? Have you considered a 1-2 pm ceremony with appetizers and cake afterwards? It's generally more appropriate for afternoon weddings to be dry.

I wouldn't expect alcohol at a pastor's wedding. I do think a glass of wine with dinner might be a nice touch if the religion does not prohibit it.

Why would you think of giving everyone Moscato, because you like it? You are aware that you can offer your guests drinks that you don't particularly like, right? I don't love beer, but when my Dad comes over I get beer because he likes it and he's my guest.