Drinks/ hosted? non hosted?

@Lmac -- the others are correct. BYOB as in the bride/groom stock the bar at their backyard wedding or other venue that allows them to bring the alcohol instead of have it catered.

Not guest BYOB, I've actually never heard of that at a wedding. That'd be tacky!

@Michelle I thought the same, that @NowASeptMrs suggested to find a venue where the bride and groom buy the alcohol on their own.

ETA: Yep we were right, haha

@OP, I think either that option (a hosted bar, where you get the booze directly from a liquor store for your event) or a limited bar with just wine and beer are your best options. With a hosted bar, you can over-buy, and then return any unopened bottles. With a limited (non-cash) bar, you could have wine bottles on the tables and unlimited beer at the bar.

And - I was also horrified when I first learned how much our alcohol budget had to be, haha. For someone who doesn't drink much and never hosts parties, it's definitely a shock. I think our alcohol expenditure was the same as what we paid for appetizer, dinner, late night snack and coffee and tea altogether.

@Courtney whaaa? I would have considered this before selecting the venue. This is not going to go over well.

I agree with having a bartender... we had 3 and I am so glad we did. It was worth it. Nothings more annoying then standing in line for 20 mins just to get a drink. Our lines moved very quickly and one bartender was always ready to immediately turn his attention to wedding party, without completely stopping service to other guests because we had 3 bartenders. Plus they properly mix drinks, can serve quickly, and know what they are doing and are generally licensed which in my state you have to have a licensed bartender.

Please don't do a cash bar. It is super rude to your guests. Could you provide beer and wine yourself to cut down on costs instead of having an entire open bar?

@LMAC... no worries, I guess I should have specified that BRIDE AND GROOM BYOB, not the guests... BYOB as a guest is reserved for college frat parties and that's it :-)

@ Chelsea- Our total bill was $2500 which they made us pay in advance. We didn't do top shelf or anything, just well liquor, beers and wine. We got $140 back and we had 93 people who attended the wedding including ourselves. We are HUGE drinkers, but somehow we came under. I do know that our DOC had extra specialty beers from another wedding earlier that she needed to get rid of, so that was at no cost and went fast. I think what happened was those who drank more, made up for those who drank little or not at all.

@SimpleSeamstress I always ask the same thing. How do you pick your venue without considering the price of alcohol. At least the OP didn't pick her venue yet.

Our alcohol budget was larger than any of our other vendor budgets....priorities.

If I went to a wedding without alcohol or w/ a cash bar... I would probably cry. And then go by a bottle of wine for after the wedding and talk about how sad I was

Alcohol usually costs close to as much as catering. We had to pay by drink, not bottle, unfortunately but it wasn't bad for alcohol prices. Similar to a restaurant/bar ($5 Domestic Beer, $6 wine, import beer, cocktails). I think we ended up with $2400 worth of alcohol -- a Surly Keg, and then open bar up until $2000. Limit lasted until 30 minutes before end of reception and keg lasted until end of night. I think we had a few glasses left after the last song, but the groomsmen took care of that :-) .

ETA: That averaged to $16 per person, or approx 3 drinks. We had some heavy drinkers and some people who had nothing so it worked out. If we had reached the $2000 way earlier, we could/would have added to the limit.

@FinalMrsGee ok, whew! Our wedding size will be similar and we will have a lot of drinkers there, but we will also have people there who won't drink a lot (like his parents don't drink at all). We're doing well liquor ($6), beer ($4-$5 a bottle depending on brand) and wine ($4). I'm hoping we're able to average the $20 pp after it's all said and done, but that'll definitely be a stress factor. I wish our venue did a flat cost per head.

I'm lost. Someone please explain why offering cash bar is right up there on the list of the seven deadly sins

Aly, because properly hosting means not making guests pay for their own drinks. Asking them to pay is rude.

Veronica, you can have the opinion that cash bars are okay if you want, but it's similar to the opinion that Donald Trump is fit to hold public office: it's dumb and people will judge you for it.

@Aly... Yes you are paying for a wedding which is costly, but to attend people are driving/flying, getting hotel rooms, bringing a gift which are also costly... So it's good etiquette to offer them a meal and drinks.

I'm in the camp that thinks open beer/wine is fine, but many say an entire open bar. But you should provide something free of charge for your guests.

@Ally @Veronica If you took a friend out to eat would you not pay for their drinks?

You don't look at the waitress and say "I'll pay for her chicken sandwich but this bitch needs to buy her own soda. So give her the check for that."

@Spazzy! Omg same thought, same time.

Holy mean girls. I can't believe someone vowed to spend the rest of their life with you. Seriously ya'll are insane. Duces

I get that people are looking for ways to cut back. Weddings really have gotten crazy expensive. It can feel like there are such high expectations for a fancy open bar, dinner and dancing wedding. There are more simple ways to go while still being a good host and including alcohol. A full meal doesn't even have to be served if you are doing a shorter reception that falls between meal times. Maybe you think your guests will demand hard alcohol, but I would still argue that it is better to only serve beer and wine if that is what is within your means than to have your guests open their wallets to upgrade their experience.

I can't believe someone vowed to spend the rest of their life with you.