Dress Code

We are including an insert with the invitations. The insert includes information about where to RSVP (our website) and mentions our honeymoon fund. It also states that ‘formal attire is REQUIRED’. We will also mention it on the website.... also, talk to your guests! Set the expectation! (lol)

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Thank you lovely, I love that idea. What will your card say about your honeymoon fund? We were thinking about one as well.

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So here is what I have right now. We haven’t ordered them yet but I think this is what it will look like Side note: We want the men that attend the wedding to be in a black suit with white shirt, so yes! Lol we put it right on the insert! It also kind of gives an idea of what they should be wearing. (I feel like woman are a little better at dressing up. Especially when their date is wearing a black suit) ... I hope this helps!

Hi Baker, Unfortunately, there is no way of making your guests wear what you ask, even after letting them know. When we got married, two guests showed up in jeans and shirts. Our dress code was semi-formal. We provided the dress code on our wedding website and even included examples of semi-formal wear. The funny thing is, the two guests who showed up in jeans actually spoke with my husband a month before our wedding and asked what they should wear. My husband said, "slacks, a nice collared shirt and a tie; business casual is fine." And they still showed up in jeans. I was upset when I first saw them wearing jeans at the reception; but you know what, it was our wedding day and I quickly focused on the fact that this was our special day. Plus, our guests drove two hours just to celebrate and support us. If any of your guests do show up in jeans, don't let it ruin your special day.

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Thank you so much, That really helped and I love the idea of the honeymoon fund. Thanks for the idea Maritza.

The traditional place to put the dress code is in the lower right hand corner of the main invitation, so if you're trying to be as clear as possible, you might want to do that. On the other hand, people who think it's okay to wear jeans to a wedding probably wouldn't pick up on the over all formality of an invitation suite, so a separate card might be useful.
You can also put a "what to wear" or "attire" tab on your wedding website and include pictures of suggested outfits or links to articles to help people get the idea. If you Google "formal spring wedding outfits under $100" (or whatever level of formality/season/budget is appropriate) you should be able to find a few articles that offer guidance.

View Quoted Comment No problem girl !! We already live together and have everything we need. We just need a nice little honeymoon good luck with the planning.

View Quoted Comment Yes, same here! We live together as well and have mostly everything. We just want a great honeymoon 🥰

The only dress code that is acceptable (see Miss Manners or any other reputable source; there's a lot of very bad advice out there) to put on your invitation (or anywhere else in that envelope) is Black Tie, which is not just a dress code but a level of formality and service provided by you for the entire event; live music, valet parking, gloved service, top shelf open bar, and on and on. Very formal, very expensive. There is no such thing as Black Tie Optional.

Also it is not acceptable (speaking of etiquette here, this being an etiquette board) to put No Children or Adults Only on your invitations. The names of the people invited are on both envelopes. Those are the people invited.

However, I don't get the feeling that following the traditional rules of etiquette or the comfort of your guests is top of your list here.

You can put pretty much what you want on your website, except asking for money in any form (that includes Honeyfund).

If you want to ensure that your all guests are attired as you desire, you're going to have to hire someone to police the door and only let in those who have followed your wishes. Which sounds to me more like a dramatic pageant than a celebration, but it's your party. With a number of empty chairs.

For what it's worth, I would not buy/rent a formal gown I don't want or need and will never wear again for your wedding and thus would send my regrets. This goes double for my husband and a tuxedo. It's really hard to get people to do simple things like RSVP; it's a lot harder to get them to acquire the clothes you desire and show up wearing them.

If I where you I would do a dress code. Send the dress code in all of the invites, so they don’t feel singled out. Just put on the dress code card: “If you are attending the wedding of Mr. and Miss. Baker please follow the dress code, otherwise you will be asked nicely to leave. This is a formal event, therefore we are requiring all guests who are not a part of the wedding party to wear black/khaki pants, a button down shirt for guys, a nice blouse for women, women may also wear a nice skirt or dress. Children will be required to wear the same, except boys can wear a polo (provided kids are invited), don’t forget to wear dress shoes, they don’t have to be heels, women may wear flats as well.” Maybe have it say something along those lines. Good luck

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Then don't invite them, if you don't care if they're there or not.

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Just don't invite anybody, then. Your attitude is the absolute wrong one for the host of an event.

Put a dress code on your wedding website! Something like “black tie” is something that many understand. If there are any particulars you are extremely worried about, I’d pull them aside (or ask someone close to them to) and ask what they’re planning on wearing (casually).

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Black tie isn't a dress code, it's an event type. Unless she's actually hosting a black tie event, of which there hasn't been any evidence, then she absolutely should not claim to be having a black tie event by putting "black tie" on her website or invitation.

View Quoted Comment Sorry, I wasn’t clear. “Black tie” is an example of an event that would give people an idea of what to wear, whereas “wedding” might not because there are very formal and very informal weddings. If it isn’t a black tie event, definitely don’t say “black tie”. But use your wedding website, word of mouth, etc. to relay dress code (examples include black tie, black tie optional, garden formal, etc).

My cousin stipulated "cocktail attire" on their wedding website and gave a few examples. This might have been seen overboard for some, but for fashionally-challenged me it was a great guide! It was nice because the wedding was in the Midwest in December and at a church, so examples helped to clarify how to bundle up modestly in a little cocktail dress!

I would include on your invitation, that a formal reception is to follow...

View Quoted Comment I agree with this and PP why invite someone if you don’t care if they are there not. Only the bridal party will be in the pictures NOT the guests. Putting suggested attire is okay but turning people away after they’ve spent money to travel and on a gift is rude.