Dress Code

View Quoted Comment Omg your wedding sounds amazing and like so much fun 🥰 wish I could attend a themed wedding! I love it

View Quoted Comment Mmmm hhmmmm.... ok!

Hi Baker,

My sister recently went through the same dilemma with her wedding. She politely stated it was a formal event on her invitations, and politely told the family in person as well. I think that mentioning it in advance to the family would give them time to prepare, and if they can not support you or your husband to be, then it will be okay if they are not there. But at the end of the day, family will always make an effort.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Lucy, that was well said. I love that and that's how I feel. Family will always support. Especially if they know me and my FH. We don't have high standards were we would be mean to ppl but we really would want everyone to look nice and feel their best. We also want it to feel like date night which is why we aren't inviting children. Most of our family members are married or have a significant other and we want them to have fun and be free. Thank you again 💙

I just reread this entire thread and people telling you that they think something you want to do is rude is not the same as calling you rude. (Calling you "rude" or other names would be against the community guidelines and you can report it and the post will be removed and/or the poster can be blocked from the site by administators, but it's also against the guidelines to tell people not to post, to get off the page, etc.) And I can't find any place on this thread that anyone said anything about "ignoramus behavior." I think you are reading in to things you don't agree with. On public forums, people won't all agree with any of us, surely as a professional blogger you encounter that all the time. People are just responding to your post with their opinions. What you are suggesting, requiring guests to wear certain attire or not come, is an unusual demand and difficult to "enforce" unless you literally kick people out. I think what many posters are trying to say is that for many of us having people we love at a wedding is much more important than what they wear. Clearly, you disagree with that and you've asked how to "politely" say so. It seems many respondents don't think there is a "polite" way to say that, so they've given you more blunt suggestions. You mentioned your family thinks you can sometimes be "too bold and blunt and should put some "sugar" on it (be nicer.)" That might be a good strategy here, too. This can be an awesome forum for sharing ideas, but in order for that to happen people have to be willing to let others share their opinions -- it goes both ways. Good luck figuring out how to accomplish the wedding of your dreams.

I know a lot of people are mentioning price, but you'd be surprised at the gems you can find in a thrift store. Just say you'll have a bouncer or something to make sure no randos get in and that he's looking at attire, not a list(because nobody's gonna get all dressed up for a stranger's wedding) so then they'll think it's all about security instead of just pictures. Or say that anyone dressed in less than semi formal will be exempt from photos.

“Black tie attire”

On your invite state formal attire is a must.

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Thank you so much for that written chapter story! I just don't understand if you don't get what I was saying or don't care to understand why comment without asking? The comment was actually removed, I received an email. I can ask ppl not to respond if it's negative, calling me selfish is negative and any other names or judging my actions/character is negative. This should be about positive feedback and sisterhood to teach not judge. But I hope you have a fabulous day sweets! I no longer want to interact with unsisterly feedback.

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Thank you so much

View Quoted Comment It’s her day and I truly understand if she doesn’t want people coming to a day she’s dreamed of a perfect not dressed for the occasion she’s not wrong.

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Thank you lovely! I'm definitely using that advice in a dress code card.

Maybe you can put on the invitation that the dress code is strict and enforced by the venue?

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Thank you so much Margarie! I just don't understand why it is such a big deal to dress nice when you have 2 years to prepare. Ppl have be so rude about it as if I'm asking them all to wear Versace that day or spend $2000 on a dress/suit. I'm very frugal and I don't mind assisting with looks. I just wanted simple advice. No one has to agree with me just don't get snippy about it as if you know me personally. I just stated the leaving part because just like a restaurant you have to leave if you're not wearing proper attire for that restaurants policy. You wouldn't get upset if you're turned away by them. You know its a 5 star place so look nice. I feel if you look nice you feel nice! Idk that it would be this big of a deal.

View Quoted Comment You are going out your way to provide a beautiful venue, drinks, food etc they should come looking presentable as possible. And I’m not having a children friendly wedding either. People should not call you selfish for wanting your dream wedding it’s your special day.

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Thanks Jessi, my coordinator will be at the door just checking looks, invites and informing guests about our Unplugged Theme. We are paying a videographer and we don't want ppl with their phones up while we're paying good money for something professional. Ans when it comes to looks; I'm a thrifter as well and I shop on Amazon and other affordable sites. I don't mind helping if needed. It's only a select few bad apples that don't want to act right.

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Yes we are, thanks Jameelah. It's a ballroom setting.

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Exactly, lol if they wanted to wear jeans and tennis shoes they are allowed to have their own event and dress code. I'm ok with other ppls policies. I graciously participate, no matter if I'm wearing an emoji hat or Santa gear for a Christmas party. Make the situation fun and festive.

View Quoted Comment Asking people to dress formally for a formal wedding is fine. Choosing styles or colors, is not acceptable. No one should have asked them to all wear white, it is considered rude to specifically dictate that to guests. Whoever asked them to wear white, was rude. They simply ignored a rude request, and chose their own clothing, which is the way it should be. Would you rather the whole family had simply said, that is rude, and all stayed home from the birthday party? ? For this, let them know the formality. As formal as you, or one step less. The groom needs to do some PR about what that is.

Stress the dress code on your wedding website and on your invitation mention "formal reception" or something like that. And try to spread the word around. Sisters, brothers, cousins, friends and your fiance should do the same. Have your MOH post something on social media like "Can't wait to dress to impress for my best friend's gorgeous wedding! 😍"
You are in fashion right? Market your product. Market your event.
I kind of agree with your family that turning someone away for not having the right attire is a little harsh... My family would not take kindly to that. But just get the word out there about the dress code as strongly and as well-circulated as you can.