Dress Code

Maybe you could say that formal attire is required and you will be turned away at the door if the attire isn’t followed?

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much Morgan! My family members said I was too bold and blunt and should put some "sugar" on it (be nicer.) I feel if they cared enough they would just come looking nice for photos and participation. My mom had an all winter white 50th b-day party and my cousins came in red 🤦🏾‍♀️

You say it would be a big deal if they didn't show up, that "it shows they'd rather wear jeans and be selfish." But if you turn them away, it shows you'd rather they weren't there if they didn't dress fancy or formal enough and that's selfish, too. I get it that you want to have a fancy, formal occasion but you have to realize that not everyone has fancy clothes nor can they afford to spend a lot of $$ on something they would wear once. The bottom line is, which is more important to you, these people or their clothing?

View Quoted Comment Oh boy. It seems to me like they’re difficult. I’d be nervous about this also. I would be nice at first and maybe even offer to go shopping with them so that you get to overlook things😊

View Quoted Comment This. If it’s more important that they be dressed formally than attend that’s YOU making that decision not them. Formalwear isn’t cheap so if they never dress formally, you’re making it a requirement that they spend money on attire specifically for your wedding. Not everyone has the financial ability to do that.

View Quoted Comment I have to agree with the PP....personallly I’d be more upset that close family and friends weren’t at my ceremony than if they were there in the wrong attire.🤷🏼‍♀️

Turn someone away you invited to celebrate one of the biggest days of your life? Wow. That is a borderline selfish and inconsiderate. Nah sis dont do that. Put on the invitation Formal wear is “requested” - NO JEANS.
I desire my guest to be in formal wear also but I KNOW many won’t have it nor could maybe afford it so I will be sure they know it’s business or formal wear ONLY! - NO JEANS.
Those that attend I’m sure will honor that request. If they don’t there presence is more than enough. Thing about it

In the invitation make sure you write it down For example “dress attire: formal or modest ( which ever one you’re having)”

I wouldnt turn family or close friends away. because they were dressed improperly. But if you do, then it's your money down the drain since you wont be allowing them to partake in the meals you've already paid for. Just my opinion though.

View Quoted Comment

Agree with both of these posts 100%.

Hosts don't get to dictate what guests wear. If you want guests to dress up, have an event that is more formal and allow your adult guests to decide what they will wear to that event.


Throwing someone out of an event they are invited to because you don't like what they are wearing is egregious behaviour.
If you don't want them to come, don't invite them.

I was at a wedding this past weekend and she had hoped everyone would dress quite formal so she put "formal attire required" on the invitation. I personally wore something more formal than I usually would (i.e. floor length dress), but a lot of people wore more semi-formal/cocktail type outfits (a few in tunics with tights....). As a result, i think you would have better results from a "black tie" dress code. However, please don't turn away people for not dressing to your standards.....

“Formal attire requested” should work.


Also be sure your invitations send the formal message too... quality card stock and design, not DIY printing.
I too would be upset if guests showed up in jeans! I really hope they don’t.

Just say “formal attire required” on your invitation.
Honestly on your wedding day are you really going to notice what other people are wearing...?

What if they can't afford to rent a tux or buy an evening gown, will you be paying for those? Are you providing a black tie wedding? I get you have your wedding vision, almost every bride and groom does but to say that guests will be turned away is also selfish. If you are requiring that guests dress a certain way, you should be paying for their attire. Otherwise, you can request that guests follow your designated dress code and hope they follow it.

So if guests aren’t formally dressed then they’re being selfish and unsupportive? And you’d rather your family and friends not show up simply because you’re more concerned about their clothing than enjoying the day with them. But that isn’t selfish? 🤔 Ok, sure that makes sense. 👍🏽


Well as for feedback.... Hmmmm??? Well you have 2 years to go. So you could ask for sizes and purchase everyone’s formal attire to wear at your wedding. Or you and your FH can stand at the door, inspect their outfits and turn guests away one by one. Or you can can call and ask each guest what they’re wearing and tell them “Nope, that’s not formal enough for our spectacular wedding, so don’t bother coming”. Or the 2 of you can elope and that way 100% of your guests will have on formal attire. Or you could take a moment to remember that it’s a wedding and not a fashion show.

Or you can simply list your suggested attire and realize that it’s not a mandatory dress code.

"Black Tie Optional" on the reception card should let everyone know that some guys will be in tuxes, so everyone needs to wear formal wear.

Hi, put formal attire required.... because black tie is technically a tux but formal they do not have to go out and get a suit if they can not afford it but they can get a nice pair of slacks

I am worried also about a relative who dress is not appropriate for some of our family events. I thought about an insert in the invitations. I would make it artsy looking and include other fun facts, but I’m not really sure.

Don't think there's a way of doing this nicely aha other than saying itd be great for people to dress up but obviously some people aren't always going to be as into it as you. I see your sentiment though. At my wedding I had a few people who were in tshirts and jeans. And they stood out like a sore thumb since everyone else was nicely dressed.