Dress Code Question

A lot of this is regional. I think cocktail attire works though :-) in California, everything is way more casual.

Why don't the GM wear gray Tuxes? Then you can put formal reception to follow.

Easy rule of thumb: Don't tell people what to wear. It's a wedding. They'll figure it out.

Don't tell adults how to dress. DH and the Groomsmen wore tuxes. Women wore anything from maxi dresses to black pants and a shirt to a more formal dress. Guys were in suits, nice pants/shirts for the most part (but my uncle did run home half way through to put jeans on, lol). At the end of the day, you will be so busy and it will go by so fast that you wont notice nor care what your guests were wearing.

Honestly, don't put anything. People will figure it out.

GM already got the grey suits so it's too late to change that.

I love the idea of not putting a dress code but my parents seem to think we need one.

People will wear whatever they want no matter what you put as a dress code. Plus, unless it's black tie, different dress codes mean different things to people. Tell your parents that grown ups can dress themselves!

No dress code on the invitations or on the wedding website.

Fancier invitations, fancier venue, evening reception, these things all tell guests how to dress.

I think you have a mixed dress code right now which is completely fine in this day and age. However, you're somewhere in between "black tie optional", "semi formal", and "cocktail attire". Cocktail attire does not say long dresses to me however. That's why I said "black tie optional" as that is both long and short dresses--but it's also black or dark suits not gray.

Also, on the don't tell adults how to dress, you don't have to tell adults how to dress, but dress codes are a traditional part of a wedding. Some times people want a formal reception so they'll say "white tie" or "black tie" depending on the level of formality.

If you're not having a white tie or black tie dress code, don't put it on the invitation suites. We're having "cocktail attire" (i.e. gray suits for the GMs and tea length dresses for the BMs) and have put it on the wedding website only, and, if people ask, spreading it word of mouth.

I put a dress code on the website and still had about two million people asking me what the dress was.

Of course you don't tell people what to wear. Giving a guideline of dress code is NOT telling them what to wear. Jesus Christ. Telling them what to wear is "everyone in costume!" or "everyone in white!" not "Black Tie" or "Cocktail Casual".

I'd put cocktail attire.

I would say "formal reception to follow" isn't a dress code, it's more of an event label. However, you do have a mix of what would be cocktail and black tie in terms of dress so I would just leave it as an event label. Listing dress codes is frowned upon and, as said above, people should get the hint based on the type of invite, venue, etc.

I'm in the anti-dress code camp. If you want people to feel comfortable in either long or short, tux or suit, then just leave it off and that's what people will wear anyway. The time of day and venue/tone of your invite will set the tone of your formality.

Most etiquette folk will say that you don't put a dress code on a wedding invitation unless it's black tie or above, so putting a dress code on this sounds inappropriate.

I'm with m. Of course you don't need to tell your guests exactly what to wear, but I think most people like a little guidance as in "it's casual" or "it's formal" so they don't show up looking completely out of place.

Unless you're having a black tie or black tie optional wedding, you don't put the dress code on the invitation (that's not my advice, that's Miss Manners etiquette) If you want to, you can list "cocktail attire" on your wedding website.

Actually black tie optional isn't a thing. Black tie and white tie are established types of parties with certain requirements (like a several course plated meal, full premium bar, valet service... I don't know, mine wasn't nearly fancy enough). Everything else has been made up more recently. Black and white tie are the ONLY kinds of dress codes with set definitions, but they also require the party to be a certain level of formality.

Dress codes are not "traditional" at weddings.

If your parents want you to put something about the reception on the invite- I'd put dinner reception to follow. Unless it's black tie, don't tell your guests how to dress.

I didn't put anything on my invites - but my venue technically has a dress code, because it's a club. Do I think anyone will get kicked out? I sure hope not. I also hope that people don't wear jeans and flip flops - but I'm not going to call that out on an invite...

Curious if the dress code applies to non-club events... hmmm.

Exactly, m! Offering guidance is not the same thing as dictating the attire. I didn't (and wouldn't) put it on the invite, but it's nice to mention it on the website so that people know what the fuck is going on.

Ashley, I think if the venue has a dress code it's perfectly appropriate to put something on your wedding website about it. Just something like "Per XX Venue's dress code, please refrain from wearing jeans" or something like that. Whatever the dress code is. That's different than setting a dress code for your wedding because you want your pictures to look nice.

Someone wore jeans to my wedding. I'm still just as married.

I would not put formal. That implies tuxes and evening gowns. I would just put cocktail attire on the FAQ section of your website.