Don't want Redneck Wedding!

Serve it in nicer plates. Not paper. Set the tables nice, and invitation should say formal reception to follow.

Put Semi-formal attire on the invites

BBQ can be fine just make sure it is served on nice china. Are you having your reception inside what? your location will determine your wedding. Style will determine your wedding. Everything you do will determine your wedding. So don't make it redneck!

And when I think redneck wedding I think, beer can attached to the 1988 truck with guns every wear, people dressed up in their finest torn t-shirt baseball cap finest stained oil jeans, and steel toe boots.

It is all about presentation! if you do not want it to look redneck, serve food on nice platters and dishes, not in aluminum or paper plates! as for the invites, you can put semi-formal or formal attire and maybe also have some friends spread the word that jeans, sneakers, cowboy boots and so on will NOT be allowed at the wedding! but like samantha said, if these people are not those kind of people or own those kind of clothing, you could possibly have a problem with people complaining about it.

Maybe you can ask the bbq-ers to wear a professional cook's coat or something like that to make them look more "official"? Provide nice platters for them to display the food on (if they don't have any)?

As for attire wording, here's a quick example from google:

http://www.hellolucky.com/wedding-advice/wedding-invitation-wording-samples/attire.html

Really, though, I think it's most important for your family and BP to help you spread the word about attire. Some people read this wording, and some don't - and the people who don't are usually the ones who need the reminder. If you have concerns about any specific people, I'd give them a call to ensure they understand. Even with all this effort, you can still expect that not everyone will get the memo, but if you are close enough to this person to invite them I'm sure having them there will be much more important than what they wear.

Just skip the things you find to be redneck, if you don't like the look of cowboy boots you certainly don't have to wear them. Don'tuse the paper plates, instead real china and glasswear. Style Me Pretty has some good inspiration for rustic that can still look elegant.

Thanks guys!! I am using vintage china plates and silverware. I am still trying to find a venue that I'm falling in love with. I am looking at a barn right this evening that is really new and beautiful from the outside.

I appreciate all the suggestions. I know some of my selections like a barn and bbq can push it towards the redneck ways thats why I was looking for suggestions to classy it up. I've seen some beautiful classy barn rustic weddings and I want that so much, I just hope my friends will support me with this and dress up too! lol

Your friends will definitely support you @Deborah R! Not to worry

I love rustic barn weddings but most people I know if they heard barn and wedding, they would assume it was a casual wedding, not formal, ie no jacket or tie or something. You really need to work hard on word of mouth to make sure no one shows up in jeans and put it on the invites and website. Other than that, I would avoid anything that screams redneck to you- as others said, the plates etc is a good place to start, make sure the invites are formal looking and save the dates, etc.

Thank you for changing your picture

On your wedding website put that it's semi formal then put (ie- ties, dress shirts and dress pant required)

Thats what I'm afraid of Jamie. I do have a small guest list of about 50-60 people so it will be fairly easy to communicate with them what I want. We only want our real close friends and family, so the majority of them will dress up. Except maybe my father in law.... oh well. I won't freak out over that I guess. Maybe I can convince him to wear black jeans. Compromise. lol

Thanks Samantha! Love that wedding, I'm going through the photos now.

I like your suggestion Tabatha, I think I will add the last bit after semi formal.

Aw you dont want to have honey boo boo decor? LOL

I understand! My FH is from a small town and is not redneck but some of his family is. His uncle for example has a camo suit jacket I grew up riding horses and our venue is a cabin, so some of his family is like...oh your having a country wedding. We just keep stressing to them NO. It's a a really nice mountain home in the forest, thats why we chose it. The scenery is beautiful. Nothing from the website to decor says anything "country" about it.

All you can do is try to steer people the right way but in the end I think people will do pretty much what they want if they are in that kind of mindset. Try not to stress about it too much!

I don't think my father ever wore a suit after about 1984. He lived in his jeans. Occasionally, he wore "frock pants" for formal occasions in reinactments, but even then, he was a cowboy. This was one of the last pics taken of my Daddy, at my cousin's wedding. He's wearing jeans, but looks classy. I'm with Samantha, some people may not own a suit, but may be able to dress classy and still have jeans. I know you're panicked about the redneck wedding, but jeans doesn't always equal trashy redneck.

(PS Sorry about the pic quality... scanned a photo I keep on my desk in my office and the quality just went to heck from there!)

I guess I never really thought of them not having suits. :/ I guess I just have this vision of complete trashyness with jeans. Obviously its something I'm going to have to get over since some of the guests, including my FFIL is a "cowboy". Whats funny is I LOVE wearing jeans otherwise. But to me a wedding is dressing up and jeans just done seem that dressed up. I know my guests that are my concerns and I will be sure to chat with them about attire.

You guys are awesome, I'm already in love with this place.

I am going through sort of the same thing. Everyone I tell that we are getting married in a barn, they look at me like its going to be ...trashy? Is that the right word? Maybe not, but definately redneck-ish. I am more of the country girl whereas my FH is a city boy. I love the rustic look and am using mason jars etc but don't want the redneck-ness either. Our compromise was, I said I wanted the barn for the ceremony and our reception is at a hotel, so that will be more formal for him.

Our guys are also wearing suits instead of tuxes, with no jacket, so that will class it up a little bit.

I think I'm going to wear cowboy boots with my dress for photos as least to get that look.

You are right, its all about the compromise.

PS -- Where are you catering through, the BBQ place? I'm in Iowa and would love to look them up!

I think you are totally on the right track. It's all in the presentation. A BBQ can look classy if it's presented the right way (for example, people aren't walking right up to the grill to ask for another burger). As for how people dress, the important thing is that they came to support you, right? If you love them, it shouldn't matter what they wear. I do think that specifying your preference is allowed (semi-formal- slacks, ties, nice skirts preferred) or whatever semi-formal means to you.

I'm sure it will be beautiful, but what makes it beautiful is the wonderful people around you, not what they are wearing or how you decorate.

If it's an evening reception have the bridesmaids wear long dresses. To me short dresses are casual, long indicates a more formal setting/style.

Also you should have formal looking invitations, calligraphy fonts, white thick paper...that helps indicate formality for the event as well. Formal wording on the invites too.

Put the word out there that people should wear dresses (ladies) or dress pants and button down shirts (gentlemen). You can also put it on your wedding web site along with pictures of suggested attire. You're not asking people to buy suits or "change who they are". I don't see how a grown person living in 2013 couldn't understand that he can't wear jeans everywhere.

As far as the food goes, I think you will be fine and you'll have a very classy wedding!

I haven't even considered the bridesmaids dresses yet. Great suggestion on the long dresses as it will be an evening reception.

Looks like I will be doing a wedding website after all. Great suggestions.

Jessica B. I don't think they had a business but would enter the cattlemans bbq contest or something like that and won three years in a row, and they only entered three years. They have excellent food!