Donation in lieu of favors?

This is a controversial topic.

Personally, I think it's in bad taste. The point of a wedding favor is that it's a little treat for your guests. Something small they can enjoy or take away as a memory of your wedding. A donation to something that's important to you is wonderful, but unless all of your guests are members of the synagogue and would equally treasure the donation, it's not a "favor." Aside from that, I just kind of think it's in bad taste to tell people when you donate to something, unless the point is to encourage other people to do the same. I just don't think a wedding is the time or place for that, honestly.

I would just make the donation and skip the favor part. You definitely don't need favors, in some circles it's a cultural thing where favors are a really big deal, but most of the time people won't even notice if there isn't one. So don't worry that you have to do something.

And congratulations!

I think it is, but only because it says to your guests that you decided instead of thanking them for coming by giving them a small gift, you chose to donate the money to someone/something else.

Some people may also see it as a "hey look at how awesome and generous we are" type gesture.

Also, if they don't agree with who you donate the money too, they may be further annoyed. Although most of your guests probably see money given to a synagogue as a worthy cause, they might not all feel that way.

I think it is better to skip the favors (no one will miss them if you don't point out to them that they are missing) and make your donation privately.

Thank you. Good points.

I LOVE it! I went to a friend's wedding and on each place setting they had a small card that said "In honor of your presence at our wedding we have made a donation to the American Cancer Society. Thank you for sharing in our happiness.". Note: both groom and bride lost a parent to cancer the year previous. I thought it was an awesome gesture. I don't want to take home a candle, a wine stopper, or any other trinket from a wedding - sharing the moment with the couple and then feeding and entertaining me is enough for me. I appreciated that my friends not only honored their guests in this way, but honored their parents as well. I liked the idea so much, we are doing this at our wedding. We are putting it on our programs at the very bottom, with donations likely going to St. Jude because my Grandpa who passed was a huge supporter of theirs and I want to honor him in some way at the wedding and this seemed the way he would most appreciate.

@Almost Mrs. P, that was my fiancée's point and idea. The wording you chose is far, far better than what I used as a sample.

We want people to know we appreciate them coming, more than we could ever say in a $2 trinket. Our community just needs the money more than $2 Trinkets Inc needs it, just like St. Jude is an arguably better investment than Dusty In Two Weeks Wineglasses Ltd.

If you don't start a company called Dusty in Two Weeks Wineglasses, Ltd., I will.

Just sayin', LOL.

I'm doing it. The donation will be to a local Humane Society. Honestly I don't think my guests need a bit of candy or a cheap trinket to know I appreciated their presence. As a guest, I'd rather the bride and groom focus on throwing a great party with good food and music. I'd rather see that money go to help a good cause, such as PUPPIES.

I come up with analogies and sarcastic company names. Give me a shred of an idea and I'll craft up something that you shouldn't read while drinking coffee...

Try it!

Lol that's funny. The thing is, nobody wants a Dusty in Two Weeks Wineglass. I see a favor as a cute cookie. Or a popcorn buffet with take-home bags. Or an extra piece of cake boxed to go. I totally get what you're saying, but comparing a donation favor with a crappy favor I'm going to feel guilty about recycling later just isn't a good comparison, that's all. See what I'm saying?

Donating is great. It just has nothing to do with being a "favor." Unless every single one of your guests is jazzed about your new cantor and really wants to support the synagogue, and only you know that.

That is a great idea....AND...tax write off!!! Get some of that hard earned and spent money back!

We donate a lot to cancer societies and to animal rescues...it would be nice to donate to a few different causes that you know would mean something to the guest.

I dont have a problem necessarily but sometimes I feel like they are telling us they would rather give their money away than thank us or it seems preachy.

I literally once got a "favor" that read: we support ____ charity and encourage you to do so also. Don't be responsible for a child dying. I was horrified. But if they said, in lieu of favors we made a donation in your name, then that makes me feel good.

Trick is picking something that people wont get ofended by. I wouldnt be offended by a donation to a synagogue but I also would be like I would have never donated to that as I am not Jewish. I would prefer a charity like red cross, cancer society, humane society etc.

OMG Jamie....I just read about that "favor" you got. Someone really said that? I am truly horrified...some people...

I love the idea as well. I guess at my wedding it won't be a favor since we also plan to have a phto booth which will serve as favors but am really thinking about doing the donation and noting it as previously posted for each of our guests in honor of my daughter who passed away from complications due to Sickle Cell Anemia. I say to each there own and if you feel good doing it, do so.

I personally love the idea. I know a favor is to thank the guests for coming, but isn't that what the whole dinner and celebration is about? It is so true that I have gotten favors that went into the yard sale pile because they were not something I would use. Maybe you could attach the donation card to a small favor bag of candy?

I love the idea. It's an awesome way to include everyone in your personal life. We are making t-rex and robot cookies and attaching a note letting everyone know we are donating to make a wish and give kids the world as a favor.