Dollar Dance Confusion!

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And I don't think you fully understand what being racist actually is. It's not saying that someone's cultural traditions come off as tacky in a modern age. It means that you oppress someone because of the color of their skin. It means you deny that person things on the purpose of their skin color.

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Kelli I never heard of the umbrella!!! When I started this post I had heard mention of pins and throwing money at the bride. Naturally I was confused since it differed from my experience. That makes sense about Poland and Greece because I have heard them mentioned when talking about the dollar dance before.

I’ve been to lots of weddings and I’m pretty sure only one has had a money dance. It was a Mexican wedding so I just figured it was a culture thing (although I’ve been to another Mexican wedding that didn’t have one). I think the bride and groom both had a pouch pinned to them and the guests would put money in the pouch to dance with them. I was closer friends with the bride and even though I loved the groom too, I felt like it would be kind of awkward to dance with him, so I actually paid to dance with the bride instead of the groom even though I’m a girl, lol. It was kind of fun since I got some extra time with her.

I live in central AZ and have been to a couple weddings on the east coast and have never seen this done at a wedding. I don't love the idea of it (people being encouraged to give MORE money when they've already traveled and provided a gift), nor do I particularly want to dance with a ton of people taking turns for several songs. Just would feel weird to me.

I did have a boss once who did this at her wedding. I didn't attend, but she brought all the cash to work after the wedding and counted it all in front of us and basically danced around saying how much richer she and her new husband were now because they did this. It was the stupidest, most disgusting thing. I never really liked her to begin with and that helped seal the deal.

It being a Polish tradition makes sense to me too.. Its a big tradition here in Steelton(which is a huge Polish-populated area) and my family is Lithuanian/Slovak. That whole area has many similar traditions.

I think its important to respect others cultural traditions..there are many that I find different or weird but I'd never be rude about it. Those are the things that make all of our families unique.

For our dollar dance, people will just put the money in a bag or jar. I don't want people pinning grubby money to my white dress lol

View Quoted Comment I couldn't say that every Vitsa does it, or if we borrowed it from the Polish, but yup! I've just always accepted them as normal And you know, I dunno about the cookie table. It may just be a Pennsylvania-Dutch thing, because I've never heard of it in the other states I've lived in. But boy, my FH was excited about that one! A table of nothing but mine and his favorite cookies? What more could a cookie monster want? Haha

View Quoted Comment It actually has to do with not liking people from other races not skin color.

View Quoted Comment And other cultures as well

I'm from Berks County and all of the dollar dances I've been part of is you just put the dollar in the basket and then dance. That was until this last wedding I went to, it was my FH's cousin's wedding. We did what we normally do but then his mom poured a shot to take. I was talking with someone from Carbon County and she said that's how it's always done where she's from. I love reading what others do, I didn't realize some were so involved!

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Me too! I actually just started googling to get information and found some reddit page discussing the origins and differences. I also found a past article in my local newspaper talking about the tradition and different parts of it and what they signify. I guess the napkins being waved around came around as a adaptation of the mother putting on the babushka at the end of the dance to signify being a married woman.

COOOKIES!!! I am a huge cookie monster at heart as well. I have an entire file folder of ideas of how to display the cookies. Maybe western pa is home to all the different traditions. I had no idea that the cookie table wasn't what everyone did until WW.

I'm from a SW PA Italian family so this is standard. We just do decorated jars and the bridesmaids go around and take everyone's money (no set amount, whatever they want to throw in) while dancing, and facilitate who will be next and when to switch partners of bride and groom. Nothing too complicated!

When I was a child and went to weddings, the money was literally pinned on the bride.

Hey PA fam! I’m from Philadelphia. I’ve heard of the dollar dance but never seen it first hand. The other half and I haven’t gotten that far into planning yet so we haven’t discussed it.

View Quoted Comment Racism has nothing to do with "not liking people." You are way out of line with these accusations. Racism is prejudice or discrimination against a group of people based on the color of their skin, and it is hugely disrespectful to victims of actual racism to draw that conclusion. As you can see, lots of people from different cultures and regions have adopted this tradition, and it seems to mainly be regional at this time in the US. There are tons of Polish people in my area, including myself, and I have never heard of this before WW. Your comments are incredibly offensive and I resent that you are calling myself and others racist for not agreeing with the continuation of this tradition (asking for money from your hosted guests), which to someone who has never seen or heard of it could perceive as rude.

Wow. Someone really tried to compare dollar dances to domestic abuse, or at the very least tried to compare giving a negative opinion on dollar dances to giving advice to a domestic abuse victim. Just, wow.

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I agree with you that going as far as to call it racist is too far. I do think it is rude to be judging another's tradition as Kelli said.. however it isn't racist because no one is discriminating against that person... only disliking their tradition.

An and stbmrs2019,

Racism however is not defined as discriminating based on skin color. You are confusing that with color discrimination. Racism is technically defined as discriminating against a person based off of their race and/or racial features (which can include skin color, eye color, hair features, etc). It covers much more than just skin color.

View Quoted Comment Ok it is not only defined as skin color, true, but it is certainly not based on cultural traditions.

ETA: I am not taking back or discounting my point based on a technicality. The implications of her post are absolutely absurd.

That is why I put that racism is discrimination based off of a race.. not necessarily skin color. It is a common misconception.

An, I believe that Kelli has faced more than the comments on here to warrant her assumption of others being racist. It deals with more than just disliking this particular tradition. But the remarks and statements that have gone along with this.

Kelli I hope that you have flagged whoever would use words like that. I can not state or comment on anything else you stated with my background. However, it does hurt to see others call your traditions you grew up with in your culture and family as tacky, rude, etc. That is why I tried to avoid any comments like that in this post and stick to learning about other's interesting traditions.

P.S. I am still trying to find the CG that says I can't ask a question and request that people answer instead of chiming in opinions bashing other's traditions? Not a snide remark... i just truly can't find it. After between told immediately by four people i couldn't request that I went and looked and came up with nothing.

I'm truly sorry that those things happened to you and if I saw that post I would have flagged it myself. However, there is not just one culture that uses this tradition... I have seen people say that Polish people use it, Filipinos, Italians, Greeks etc. so while I am sympathetic to what you have gone through, I really don't agree that calling this particular tradition rude is racist.