earias
Champion December 2017

Do you think weddings bring out the worst or best in people?

earias, on May 14, 2018 at 3:37 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 54
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Some people say weddings bring out the worst in people. Family drama even sometimes erupt when nothing was present before. Tensions are high and a lot of money is at stake.

Other people love weddings. They love "love." They want to be involved with the wedding planning from every aspect and help wherever possible.

What do you think? Have you seen examples of either one or both? If so, share them here!

54 Comments

  • SB
    VIP March 2019
    SB ·

    I believe it fluctuates. When tensions and stress are running high, it tends to bring out the worst in people, but that's the same in every situation. Just like when everything is going well and sticking to the plan. Weddings are very stressful, especially with large families who think they have a lot of say, but just have to ignore and move on! I keep tying to tell myself that this is MY day and I'm not going to let anyone ruin it!

  • IGotTheD
    Dedicated April 2019
    IGotTheD ·
    I have an aunt and uncle who are currently fighting with my dad. So when one of their kids got married, they didn't invite my dad and another aunt or any of our family. It humiliated my grandparents so much, they didn't attend her wedding.

    I invited them to my wedding, but they obviously didn't attend. Which was fine with me, but just extending the invitation made my grandparents happy so they attended mine. I'm so grateful for that.

    I personally was a "love love love" person, till I planned my own. Now I'm cool taking a backseat in others (unless they ask!) because I know how stressful it is.

    Also from this site, I'd think it brings out nothing but drama.
  • MsMay
    Devoted May 2018
    MsMay ·

    I would say the worst!! Too much drama and worrying about everyones feelings. It begins to be everyones wedding but your own.. 11 days left and I am free at last and able to me married to the one I love. No more wedding talk! whew

  • Dominique
    Savvy September 2018
    Dominique ·
    Hi,
    I do think that weddings bring out the worst in people. I was best friends with someone for 13 years and she was supposed to be my Maid of Honor. She began to act funny not showing up at meetings or texting back. I tried reaching out to tell her we needed to talk and she text back saying best wishes. Although I was hurt I'm happy it happened sooner than later.
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    View Quoted Comment

    That's too bad about your aunt and uncle. It's a shame they let their feud with your dad affect the kids.

    Yes, wedding planning is so very stressful!

  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I'm so sorry to hear that! I wonder why weddings bring out the worst in people? I've seen that a lot too unfortunately!

  • OrangeCrush
    Super October 2017
    OrangeCrush ·

    I think that if your family has existing tensions and old hurt feelings, planning a wedding will make those feelings come out even more, therefore bringing out the worst in people. This wedding, for me, brought out the best in people, maybe because we a bit older, kept it simple and did not share many details with people.

    I do not understand how so many people make a wedding day about them, not the bride or groom. "What do you mean you are not having your third cousin you met once as your maid of honor? Well if you want to break Aunt Margaret's heart......go ahead......"

  • Bride107
    Expert October 2018
    Bride107 ·

    I think it does, I came across some people get jealous and envious without them realizing it, other friends or associates want to compete. People all of a sudden are having money issues. It is madness. But I learn to not have high expectations of people and use the motto No PAY No SAY!


  • Kristen328
    Super September 2018
    Kristen328 ·
    Luckily, it has been fairly stress free and drama free for me. (I haven't sent out invitations yet so we'll see when the RSVPs start rolling in.) I'm lucky to have supportive parents who are paying for 95% of our wedding who aren't trying to take control but who help/give honest opinions when I ask. I do have a few family members who are very opinionated so I don't bring up anything in their presence and change the subject when they ask questions.
  • Susan
    Super November 2018
    Susan ·
    I personally see both. My family is distant and we have a lot of skeletons, so a lot of my family isn’t getting an invite at all. My FILs family is all about positivity and happiness, and I’m finding myself planning things and getting their help even before I ask my mom or sister for things. I don’t know. It’s weird being caught in the middle but it definitely gives both perspectives.
  • K
    Devoted May 2018
    Kaitlin ·
    I think it depends on what’s going on and I won’t say that it brought out the best in my FMIL. However, she has become so much nicer to me and more considerate so I will call that a win.
  • JaiBriuna
    Beginner August 2018
    JaiBriuna ·
    I think it does, my best friend of 20 years, and also my maid of honor has been saying thing about my future husband and I behind our backs, but "acting" so happy for us in our face.
  • Mrs. Mecking
    Expert August 2018
    Mrs. Mecking ·
    I think it depends.

    My mom- the worst. She never had the wedding she wanted and my siblings never gave her the wedding she invisioned for them. So for me she’s always trying to change things or she talk down about my ideas or what we’re doing. I’ve learned just to keep her out of it and only tell her the information she needs to know. It kind of sucks because I feel she’s not excited.

    My FMIL- the best. My FH is the first kid to get married so she’s just so excited! Her and I have always had a great relationship and I feel this has only brought us closer together. She also doesn’t tell me things I want to hear, she’s honest with me. The top of my dress is sequins and she said it reminds her of a disco ball. At first my feelings were hurt but now we joke about it.
  • ArwenToHisAragorn
    Expert October 2018
    ArwenToHisAragorn ·

    On my family's end, definitely the best. They've been so supportive and fun and have wanted to help every step of the way.

    Bridal party has been on and off, one day they're super happy and excited and then one day they're giving my MOH stress about everything she's trying to help with. Depends on the day, but for the most part they've been pretty good.

    In-laws, THE WORST. UNBEARABLE. My FH had to have a talk with them last night about needing to lay off pressuring us to have kids because they torture me daily since we got engaged. I'm ready to elope and disappear off the planet. It's like the ring went on and all hell broke loose.

  • Sarah
    VIP July 2018
    Sarah ·

    I think it CAN go either way. There are some people in every group who love weddings and genuinely get excited about them, but there are some family members who use them as another way to bring on drama.

  • A.Magill.Since.May
    Master May 2018
    A.Magill.Since.May ·
    I don't think it necessarily does one or the other. I think being intimately involved in wedding planning brings out people's priorities and real values, as well as testing their ability to compromise and handle stress. For some people, it is a shining moment in the relationship because they handle stress well and your values line up. For others it's the sources of drama because your priorities don't line up and they (or you) don't handle stress or compromise well.
    I've dealt with both of these over the course of wedding planning, but I didn't let it ruin my experience overall.
  • Mrs. Sponge
    Master April 2018
    Mrs. Sponge ·

    I think weddings tend to bring out the worst in people. I feel like a lot of people forget what a wedding is truly about and get caught up in the things that don't matter and it can bring out some really ugly sides in people. H's family treated our wedding like a family reunion and completely ignored that our day was supposed to be about our two families coming together. My relationship with some of my in-laws may be permanently strained due to the way they treated us during planning.

  • Sully
    Dedicated April 2019
    Sully ·

    I definitely say the worst! Just with the announcement of my engagement I had certain friends talking behind my back because they are still single and it isn't "fair". And now I'm starting to see issues with even my bridal party. I hate it. I've been in a bunch of weddings and they all had drama, but for some reason I thought I wouldn't have to deal with it. So much for that.

  • Summer
    Super August 2018
    Summer ·

    Definitely both!

    You can see it on here - people having mental breakdowns, fallings-out with best friends and family members, and getting a little overzealous with the "etiquette help" to the point of bringing other brides to tears. But then you'll see posts where everyone is just so excited for one another and people are creating beautiful artwork and working hard to make theirs, their families' and FS's dreams come true.

    On a personal level, I had the worst fight between me, FH, and my family that I've ever had with any of them, very early into planning, and largely over a misunderstanding. Since then, I've learned that I need to voice my opinions in a stronger and clearer way to avoid miscommunication and negativity between the different people involved. It's also made me resent a few people that have made complaints about my wedding being inconvenient (it's on a Friday), which I'm trying to get over but I don't understand how they can not know how cruel that is after I've already scheduled and worked so hard to give them a good time. But I've also had some of the best moments of my life during this process, and am constantly being reassured that FH is the one - it's so great to see him caring about wedding stuff and even agreeing to practice dancing with me though he's always claimed he doesn't dance.


  • Summer
    Super August 2018
    Summer ·
    View Quoted Comment

    THIS - I can barely talk to one of my girlfriends anymore because she's been having bad luck with guys and can't be happy for me - even if I don't bring up the wedding, she brings it up and then turns it around like "well I'm glad someone's happy, I'm going to die alone, I don't think love exists..." (Every conversation we have - it's getting ridiculous!). I also recently found out another one of our single friends had made a "bet" that FH would never propose to me, right before it happened. She has barely spoken to me since. Why can't everyone just be happy for their friends and realize it's just simply someone else's special time, but not theirs right now?

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