Do you think it’s rude to ask who is in the bridal party

Yes, generally, I think this is a rude thing to ask -- especially if the person doing the asking likely thinks they might be in the wedding party. It really puts the couple on the spot. Better to not bring it up and understand that if the couple wants them in the wedding, they will eventually ASK. Occasionally, I think a random person might ask this when they are trying to make polite conversation with someone who is engaged (e.g., "so, how's the wedding planning coming?" "who's in your wedding party?"). In that case I think it's pretty benign, and a courtesy response of "good -- don't know yet" is appropriate. But, in most cases it's awkward. How did you respond?

It does seem a little weird! Are you good enough friends she thought she might be in it?

I had a very similar thing happen to me - more than thinking it was rude, I just found it to be awkward and it caught me off guard. In my case, she straight up asked me if she was going to be a bridesmaid and it took me a minute (or two) to come up with a response because I was not planning on asking her. As a previous poster wrote, better to not bring it up and understand that if the couple wants them in the wedding, they will eventually ASK. I think that works best for al parties involved!

If it's just casual conversation, then no I don't think it's rude.

I dont think its rude but its definitely awkward if the person asking is close enough to you that they potentially could be in the wedding party.

Oh, yikes! Even MORE awkward.... Be generous and chalk it up to the beer!

I don't think it is weird or rude at all. I get asked that all the time. I suppose if she asked it weird it might be rude. But that is one of the questions that my best friend and I joked about getting answers to on 'wedding t-shirts'. (So it has the answer to 'when is the wedding?' ' Where', etc etc etc) so neither of us have to answer the same 5 questions about our respective weddings over and over again.

I don't think it's rude at all. People asked me these types of questions all the time when I first started planning, sometimes out of genuine interest/curiosity. Whether you have the party picked out or you haven't decided, just be honest and she can take it whatever way she wants. You don't need to justify who is in the wedding to anyone.

*Now if she asked "Am I in the wedding?" or "Can I be in the wedding?", that would be rude.

Hi Samantha! Yikes, I'm sorry you had to deal with this sticky situation. You can choose your bridal party in your own time, especially given that your big day is still over a year away. No rush. And of course, choosing those who are closest to you is the best way to go.

I Had A Family Member Ask Me, "Who Are My Adult Grandkids Paired Up With And That She Wanted To Know Before Hand" In All Honesty We Had Not Planned Them To Be In The Wedding And Were Taken Back By That, Although We Should Not Have Been That Taken Back Since This Family Member Has Been Pretty Much Putting Her 2 Cents Into Every Aspect Of Our Up Coming Wedding. What Do I Tell Her Since She Assumes That Her Grandkids Will Be In The Wedding And To Go One Step Further Their Are 3 Girls In Their Early 20's And She Wants Them To Be Koumbada's In Our Greek Wedding. This Is When They Put The Crowns On And It's A High Honor. I Don't Know How To Say That We Picked 2 People That We Are Closer To And Let Her Down Easy Since She Has Been Assuming Things About Our Wedding Since Day 1...What Do I Do?

I would say something like "thanks for your interest but our wedding party is already organized, thanks so much so how are you?". Repeat as necessary.