Do I have to include my fiance's sister-in-law in my bridal party???

Would it really be that big of a deal to include her? This might be the opportunity for you to become closer.

Oh, don't get pushed into including a spare BM! Trust me - my obligation BM got into a massive fight with her bf at the wedding and caused all kinds of drama.

I think it's appropriate to ask your fiance's siblings to be in the wedding party, but in-laws are stretching the rubber band a little far.

I feel that not all male attendents have to be his choice and not all female attendents have to be her choice. Since you do have the imbalance, I think you are better off letting her be a bridesmaid to make your whole FIL family happy. Otherwise you look like a brat to them.

I was in a similar situation and it was with my FH's sister. He is not close to her and I really don't care for her. He did not ask me to have her as a BM but his mother thought it was only right. IMO, I only want those who are close to me and my FH standing next to us on our wedding day. I don't want to have someone there simply out of obligation. So we made her our guest book attendant. But then a few months later she dropped out because that position wasn't good enough for her. Glad I didn't ask her to be a BM then. Bottom line is I don't agree with having someone in your wedding just for the sake of having them.

Think of it this way, looking back at your wedding photos 20 years from now, do you want to see her in them or would you like family and friends that are closest to you? I have a good amount of friends but I only chose family to be in the wedding party. Good luck!

I would include her. In ten years you could look back and be like wow we are so much closer now. You will all be family soon and it's a great way to bond.

Just because she's family does not mean she has to be in the wedding, stick to your guns and have who YOU want in your bridal party.

Well what does SHE want? If his parents are bugging you guys about it, and she doesn't really want to be in it, or is apathetic, who cares what they say.

If she does want to be included and you guys are going to be in-laws, maybe try to use it as a bonding experience and see what happens? You don't seem to have to give up any of your close friends to add her.

I just don't really think I would be comfortable if I were her to invite myself into a Bridal party, or feel like the only reason I was invited is because my in-laws pressured the bride to do it.

I'm with Anna on this one with ALL of her points.

Sounds like you really don't want her in it and purposely kept your number smaller than your FH for a reason. I don't think it's right for anyone to dictate who is in your wedding. But I do think you need to think about what might happen to your relationship with this girl if you include her. It might be building the bridge that you need to jump start a closer relationship. Then again, if they don't even live anywhere near you I don't see why anyone is pressuring you. Especially your FH. But I don't know all the details…bottom line, I DO NOT think you are being unreasonable.

My mom asked if I was going to include Honey's brother's new wife in my wedding party. I said no and asked why would I? He is not putting my brother in his side so why would I put his sister-in-law on mine? Besides I had met her exactly twice at that point, and wanted my friends on my side.

I now have my brother on my side too. I figure if he plans to drink as much as I think he does he might as well do some "work" for it.

So while I would maybe ask her to do a reading don't feel pressured to have her in your party unless you are genuinely close.

I don't think you should HAVE to have anyone in your wedding you don't want. There is work involved in being a BM, does she even want to do it? In all honesty as much as you don't want to, I would just have her anyway. Yeah I know it is giving in to your ILs, but at the end of the day does it really matter? It is not like you have to kick anyone out to make room for her. Your "girls" will still be there.

I know putting her in the bridal party would make her happy. She is a nice girl but i find her annoying at times. My FH parents are probably worried that she will be hurt and run off crying like she always does.

I just hate that she always gets her way because no one wants to see her cry. GRRR...

Everything you guys have said has been my back and forth process.

I don't know.

This was my understanding of the "tradition": the bride asks her closest friends/siblings to stand up for her and the groom does the same. These are the people that have been there for you through your life experiences, and should know you inside and out! I personally don't believe in "obligation BM/GM's". If it is so important to his family that she be included, have her stand on the grooms side as a "groomslady"...ive seen this before at a few weddings Ive attended....she would just wear a nice suit. I am going through the same thing, only my FSIL is hinting around for the invite. FBIL is one of the groomsmen (as he is my FH brother) and their 3 children are the flower girls and ring barrer. She has been trying EVERYTHING possible to somehow include herself, but I'm standing my ground. I will include her in her childrens outfits, but thats it because I barely know her. Stand your ground, don't let anyone pressure you into anything!

Now seeing your last post Michelle, if she has a tendancy to get annoying and is a bit of a drama queen, for that simple reason, I would definetly not include her as a BM. She is an adult and should be able to handle it if she isn't asked to be a bridesmaid....not everyone gets their way all of the time.

Personally, I don't think anyone should be pressuring you to put ANYONE in your bridal party.

And, if i were her and knew you had picked your girls a while ago and are just asking me now, I would know it was probably out of some kind of obligation. I don't think anyone likes that feeling.

So, if it were me I would ask her to do a reading and leave it at that. It is your bridal party and it should be made up of people that you cannot wait to spend a day with that love you and care about you.