Destination wedding gift etiquette

Yes, you were kind enough to pay for their dresses etc, but you chose to have a DW which cost everyone more money than if you had married at home. One would think it is safe to assume they wish you well, as they went to the trouble to attend your DW.

I think you are trying to kid us, and yourself. You really did and do expect gifts.

Yes, it would be nice to get a card as that seems meaningful to you.

Perhaps your guests are planning on sending a card upon their return home. I wouldn't take anything to a DW, thinking the couple already had enough to pack/worry about. As for your BMs, have you calculated how much THEY each spent on flights, hotels, taxis, food, tips, etc. That is your gift.

Seriously, you want them to show their appreciation? What the heck? They took time and money to go somewhere to celebrate you. You should be showering them with thanks for doing that for you.

While their presence is definitely a gift, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a card. However, guests have up to a year to give a gift. They also should be shipping gifts to your home, not bringing them to the wedding. You JUST got married, maybe give them some time before feeling hurt.

Also - did you register? If not, they may have assumed you didn't want gifts.

Gifts are never required, especially for a destination wedding, but I would at least give a heartfelt card if I attended a wedding.

I don't understand why you are expecting a thank you, though. People came to YOUR wedding. You should be sending all your guests a thank you card for attending, in my opinion. They took time out of their lives to travel and celebrate you.

Yes I totally agree. I obviously can't create frustration or tension with them over a small gesture or gift. So I will just let it go and am still grateful they came all the way for my wedding to celebrate. But it's unfortunately something I will not forget when their wedding day comes :-/

I don't think I would have went out of my way to show appreciation to a friends wedding I was in. Especially not one that cost me thousands (assuming). I get you aren't searching for a gift, but this still seems off base. Cards are nice, but I can see someone feeling awkward about not having or wanting to put anything into it.

Have you followed up with them after the wedding? I know you just got back, but maybe you could reach out with another thank you, I know you said you showed your appreciation, but a little more wouldn't hurt. Please try to let this go. Did the groomsmen shower you with cards and gifts?

*No way would I have left the BM in my honeymoon suite, another friend would of had to help her out. That's crazy, but good for you for being so polite!

Wait - it looks like the only thing extra you paid for was the dress and the snorkeling, which you wanted guests to participate in. Everything else is apart of the deal if you want bridesmaids to look a certain way.

Hair/make-up - on you BM do not pay for this if it is required by the bride., meal/drinks for wedding - you would have had to pay for this anyways if they were guests, Swarovski crystal jewelry - something for the wedding?, tote bag - nice gesture, but not mandatory.

Really, let this go. I would hate to hear my friend talking about me like this after I spent my time and money to go to her wedding. Based on the last bit of your original comment, I guess they should have declined if the trip was too much for them! When in reality they did everything in their power to be a good friend. Thats unfortunate.