Destination wedding but my extended family cant come...

I think you should do whatever makes you happy, but be prepared for some declines (as it sounds like you already have)!

View Quoted Comment Yes! thank you 😢

I don’t think anyone here can answer for you which is more important. For us, having our grandparents attend was important and their inability to travel took a destination wedding off the table immediately. No one should fault you for doing what’s best for you and your FH.

You could elope with just your FH in Hawaii, or have an intimate DW with your immediate family, then have a celebration at home.

View Quoted Comment Thanks sarah, ill take that in mind.. 😢

Hawaii sounds pretty legit

My dream was to get married in Charleston. I adore that city. However, when I thought of how my uncles are working significant amounts of overtime, my aunt is working multiple jobs, and my cousin is raising a kid all by herself, I knew I couldn’t put my family in that position. It was more important to marry my FH surrounded by the people who have loved us and supported us than where we got married.

I think DW are romantic and wonderful, but you need to decide what’s important to you. If the setting and uniqueness of your wedding is important, go to Hawaii. If having your extended family is important, consider one closer to home. No matter where you have the wedding, it will be special because it’s you and your FH’s wedding.

You have to decide which matters more to you. It's very common for couples that have destination weddings to have a reception party back at home. Be aware that this won't actually save you much money, as you still must properly host such a gathering with food and drink.

View Quoted Comment We did this. Only 15 guests for our DW (mostly immediate family) then local reception a few months later. We didn’t have dancing or a wedding cake at our DW so our local reception really felt like a wedding reception (we both wore wedding outfits too).

Only the two of you can decide which is more important to you- a tropical backdrop or the most important people in your life being present.

You can always honeymoon in Hawaii.

What is more important to you: having a wedding ceremony in beautiful Hawaii, or surrounding yourself with your family and friends that care about you on your wedding day? Personally, I couldn't sacrifice having my family there to celebrate with us, but that is just me. You need to decide for yourself, and your fiance for himself, what is most important to you.