My FH and I are planning a wedding on Oahu, Hawaii, where we live, and literally all of our guests are coming from the mainland. I want to have activities for everyone to do during the week of the wedding, but I also don’t want to be overwhelmed before or right after the wedding.
Is it selfish to want to have the day after the wedding completely to ourselves or should it be spent with family and friends because they came for us? So far we have most people landing on June 28th, 2021. June 29th will be a “lazy” day or beach to have everyone adjust to the 6hr time difference.June 30th will be a welcome/rehearsal dinner for everyone.July 1st wedding day.July 2nd I was hoping to spend it alone with my FH.July 3rd Farewell brunch & yatch in afternoon charter for those that are still around. Admittedly Im anticipating the charter would be more of a party with lots of drinking & shenangians essentially replacing the stupid fun of bachelor/bachelorette parties (we’re not having them), so it may not be as appealing to older guests. I guess that really only gives rehearsal dinner & wedding as formal events for some family members, but we have so many options of “things to do” on their own listed on our website. I guess my real question is, should we plan more events where we’ll be in attendance?
I think this sounds like plenty. I’m sure people are going to want to use this as a minivacation as well and do some sight seeing around the island(s). With as expensive as the flights are I know I would want to sight see while I was there. For what it’s worth we left the morning after our wedding, before the sun was even up, for our honeymoon. So, We didn’t see anyone after our wedding. I don’t think anyone was hurt we didn’t visit. We had very limited time afterwards to take a trip and wanted to make the most of it.
I think it sounds perfect! Most of the time your relatives would only spend time with you during rehearsal and/or wedding anyway! I think it all sounds like a lot of fun!
I also think the "things to do" list on your website works perfectly with having that day after all to yourself. You're going above and beyond as hosts! The older guests might not party like crazy on that farewell party day but, they might come early and visit for a bit. You never know.
I agree with PPs, it sounds like you’re planning enough. Your guests are adults, they can find ways to entertain themselves. I’ve never been to Hawaii, so I would take your list of things to do and explore. Even if guests have visited before, I’m sure there’s plenty for them to do.
We plan ours in Oahu too, but we postponed until it’s safe to travel and everything open and welcoming again. We plan to enjoy a few days alone, which is very important to me. My point of destination wedding is to have honeymoon right after, where we still feel so excited, happy, and feel the great vibes from the wedding itself 😉
Is it selfish to want to have the day after the wedding completely to ourselves or should it be spent with family and friends because they came for us? Ehhhh. Hard to answer. Not sure I'd go as far as "selfish" but it does seem like hanging out with people who flew 6+ hours for your wedding for 1 day is totally reasonable and you can just spend the next day alone & together. We didn't leave for our honeymoon until Monday because we knew our guests would want to see us & say goodbye on Sunday. So far we have most people landing on June 28th, 2021. June 29th will be a “lazy” day or beach to have everyone adjust to the 6hr time difference.June 30th will be a welcome/rehearsal dinner for everyone.July 1st wedding day.July 2nd I was hoping to spend it alone with my FH. July 3rd Farewell brunch & yatch in afternoon charter for those that are still around. Are you sure everyone is going to stay until the 3rd? I'm not sure what I would do, but if the wedding was the 1st, we would probably stay until the 2nd, not the 3rd. Can you switch the 2nd & the 3rd activities?
I guess that really only gives rehearsal dinner & wedding as formal events for some family members, but we have so many options of “things to do” on their own listed on our website. I guess my real question is, should we plan more events where we’ll be in attendance? It doesn't hurt to have plenty of time with your guests. For me, weddings are enhanced SO much by making the whole trip a group event where everyone is together. Maybe on the 28th, you could have a casual beach day meet up from 12-4 or something? Then if people want to see you, they can, but it's not $$ or required. I still think switching the 2nd & the 3rd planned events will be better for you and for guests.
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Ok, I think maybe I’ll add in one more organized event because I do want to get plenty of time with everyone, but I just didnt know what was reasonable. People are travelling so far & I dont want them to feel like we dont want to see them.
I actually did orginially want it on the 2nd, but my MIL really wanted it on the 3rd for whatever reason & I figured it was easiest not to argue with her. Ill probably just switch it back because I had the same concern you mentioned! & thats a really good idea about having us at the beach & just stay there all day so people can come see us. My MIL wanted all these events people had to pay for, but money is more of an issue for my extended family than his, so this might be the way to go (:
I think making things optional makes it easy for everyone. When we travel to a wedding, we typically want to spend as much time with family/friends/bride/groom (especially if we don't see them a lot throughout the year) as much as we can. Yeah I think some more casual events & some nicer events is the way to go! Especially since people are paying to fly to Oahu already.