Destination rsvp Date?

Honestly, I think you can do whatever you want as far as how far in advance to send invites. However, things are weird right now with covid and people may wait until the last possible moment (even after your RSVP by date) to let you know they're coming. You may even have to reach out to people (annoying but a standard problem for brides I think). People should know 4 months out if they're coming to your wedding or not, especially since they'd have to buy a plane ticket or arrange transport. Also, if anyone gives you a hard time you can blame it on covid...

Four months out is awfully early to get your guests to give a commitment, especially in a COVID world (except for your "sure things," of course). People on here struggle all the time to get guests to respond to the typical 30 days out, Lol. What will you do if someone declines in January, but then comes back a month later and says, "Great news - we can make it now!"?

Invites are sent at 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Many employers don’t give a final schedule until 4 weeks which is when replies are due.


For a May wedding, December/January invites will make people wonder what is going on and they will lose the invitation and forget all about your wedding that early. Brides have a hard enough tracking down replies with no B list.

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These are the reasons (beyond the veneer of impoliteness) that "B Lists" aren't recommended. It's too difficult logistically to get the right amount of people to confirm they can't come early enough to invite the second list. This plan will cause you more stress than it's worth. Those old coworkers simply don't need to be invited.

I am getting married in March and sending out November/december...but I think with a destination wedding, the sooner the better. That gives everyone time to plan and figure out if they can go

You simply CANT get guaranteed replies in January for an event in May. It’s an unreasonable request of guests but ultimately it only hurts you. You’ll get people who rsvp yes because they want to come but by April they realize they actually can’t make it. You’ll get people who rsvp no because they don’t know their schedules yet but by the time the wedding rolls around they know they can. Most people will see the event is in May and set it aside and not even look at the reply date, presuming it is months away still, and forget to reply, even more so if you’re sending invites during holiday season when May is the last thing on anyone’s minds. Your numbers will remain fluid until closer to the wedding. It is simply not worth the stress and headache.

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Thanks everyone! We sent our Save the Dates out today and people have already started RSVP'ing! So we will just keep an eye on those responses and decide when to send formal invites. I used WithJoy wedding website and highly recommend!