Day of Coordinator? Or just have friends help?

I was thinking of having wedding party help but after my post I’m thinking we should fire wedding party and use funds intended for gifts, food, and attire & transportation help to hire someone to decorate that morning

without giving any input

Just decorate exactly how told

I would 100% pay the money over asking my loved ones to work a day in which they should be an honored guest.

I definitely say pay the $400 so your friends and family don't have to work. My FH was in a wedding a couple months ago where the bridal party had to spend FIVE hours setting up and rehearsing the day before, and they had to tear down that night. It wasn't very fun for him...

View Quoted Comment I agree with LB 💯 percent!

Just got married over the weekend, and hiring a month-of coordinator was by far one of the best decisions we made - I trusted our coordinator with everything for the day, and she made the day go by seamlessly!

I suggest saving the money. I’m sure your guests won’t mind helping out. My guests are super excited to and keep insisting on helping out more than they already are! I know your guests may be different, but I’m sure they’d still understand that you want to save money.

I would encourage you to hire a DOC 100%. People will always want to help out, and that's fine. My FMIL has offered her services plenty. There's nothing wrong with taking people up on helping out, but that should be voluntary and never expected. You should always count on people not actually helping out, because they are there to enjoy your day after all. I hired a DOC, the DOC will bring a few people for setup, but my family can help out if they so choose.

You will also need your DOC to be the contact point for venders throughout the day. It's not a good idea to have that contact point be family. They will be trying to enjoy themselves too, and can't be expected to look after every mishap that may happen.

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Yes, these were all of my concerns! Everyone is offering to help but I feel like it will stress me out more to have EVERYONE helping rather than my friend being the checkpoint for the DOC and then she can pass the baton once pictures start. I'd hate to have my close friends running around to complete tasks and I'm left sitting by my lonesome getting ready.

I was just a bridesmaid in a wedding that did not have any kind of coordinator. We helped set up, tear down, and the wedding day the bride was constantly being called by vendors and asked questions by everyone around. She was the last to have her hair and makeup done because she was running around the venue so much she didn't get to sit down and just enjoy the morning. Even during the wedding people were asking her when to cut the cake, what to do with extra food, etc. She was busy all night talking to people about details that a coordinator would have taken care of. We had already hired a DOC prior to this, but this event just solidified my decision and I'm so happy we have someone. If anything, she is a point person during the wedding so no one bothers me and I can have fun.

I don't think friends should ever work on your wedding day. If you need help, you hire help.

$400 is very cheap and I would hire that person.

Getting a DOC was the smartest thing we did. It made the day run so smooth.

Definitely get the DoC. You’ll feel better about not having your guests help with setting up and tearing down and everyone can enjoy celebrating with you. I had a wedding planner and it was worth every penny, especially on the day of when I could enjoy spending the time with my family and bridesmaids and not worry about a single thing.

I didn't hire a DOC --- but my friends, family and I could set up the evening before so there was nothing anyone had to do the day of. I would have hired one if we couldn't get in the night before though as I agree it's nice for everyone to relax and enjoy the actual wedding day. I do have good memories of all of us setting up together :-)

My rentals won't be there until the day of so we can't really set up things in advance. I'm just curious how it went DURING the wedding, I feel like there are a lot of logistics to work out that someone needs to be in charge of, like bringing out the cake? We are doing everything outside and I don't really want a "cake table" because I think its kind of gross to have a cake sitting outside for hours (bugs). As well as the late night food, someone needs to coordinate all of that too. I just don't want to asked a million questions all night, nor do I want that to fall on my friend.

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I think you just answered your own question. If you don't want to deal with it, and you don't want a friend to have to deal with it, then you should hire someone.

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After talking with my DOCs about logistical things just like this I'm so glad we have them. There are so many things that need to happen during the reception and your guests should definitely feel like guests!

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LOL! Thanks LB sometimes I just need to hear it from others. I just contacted her to officially hire her.

Setting up is one thing and family & friends are usually happy to help... but you need to pay someone to take it all down.

I was at a wedding recently that did not have a DOC, and the Bride and her mom just seemed like Chaos all day... They were struggling keeping to timelines. We needed to be out of the venue by 10, so at 9:30 the bride was like OKAY EVERYONE CLEANUP and all the guests were like WHAT?!?! and just left. We were moving tables and vacuuming, and trying to keep tabs on who took the box of cards. It was fun, but kinda chaotic, and the bride did not seem happy! (This is just my two cents). I have been to 2 weddings with a DOC (one was the Brides Sister), and the sister missed the Ceremony because she was doing setup for dinner! The other one ran smoothly, and the brides sand thing broke before the wedding, and the DOC had her staff go buy a new one, so things could go as planned!! DOC is nice because you have 1 point of contact, and not everyone is trying to run everything through the bride and groom!

I feel like that's what family is for... to help you! I wouldn't pay the extra money unless you don't trust them to do what is needed. And as someone mentioned about another bride having to be everywhere and when do we cut the cake or what to do with extra food. Just make sure you talk to your vendors before hand and have everything planned out the days before the actual wedding. I think it's really whatever you are more comfortable with. I'm sure it will be beautiful with whichever you choose.

View Quoted Comment My venue was two empty rooms and all vendors were setting up the day of. I don’t know how I would have done it without a DOC. He texted me a picture while I was getting ready to show me the venue set-up and was the one passing me water while I was trying to get through the receiving line. He also retrieved people for family formals, told the bridal party where to go, etc.