Cousin is wedding officiant

See, until I came to wedding wire I thought people having non-professionals officiate was a very rare thing.

It definitely doesn't really happen in the UK that much.

For me personally I want a professional and looked around for a while before I found one I liked. She seemed sweet, she had lots of great reviews, and she was able to do a semi religious ceremony that I could tweak to include more British wording. It's the most important part of the day in my mind, so I want it done by someone who has done it a million times before and so I can be 99% sure it will go smoothly.

I am very good public speaker, I have zero problems in front of a crowd, and it am very good at directing said crowd, but doing someone's wedding. Hell no, because if I screw up (and no matter how comfortable I am with it there is always a chance) I've screwed up the most important day of a couples lives. I'll leave that responsibility to the professionals thanks.

I am also a writer, but I couldn't write a wedding ceremony, not without slipping into overly sweet, cloying melodrama. A professional knows how to write it so it's sweet but not cloying, romantic by not sickening. As lovely as you want it to be it is essentially the verbal form of a binding contract, and that means it needs a certain gravitas.

As for the quick buck thing - don't forget that essentially everyone involved in your wedding is out to make a quick buck off you when you think about it. The florist, the DJ, the caterer. They are no different from the officiant. So I think it's wrong to single them out.

But each to their own.

I'm having my best friend officiate my wedding. There are tips all over the Internet. Google!

We're lucky that FH's grandfather is also a minister, so we've got both our bases covered. I guess I'm lucky we never had to deal with this issue because we always knew his Pop Pop would do it

FH hasn't asked for much as far as the wedding goes, but the one thing he requested and really didn't want to comprimise on was that the person who married us was someone important in our lives, who knew us and loves us. We are having our old roommate officiate a ceremony that we will write together.

Nancy, There is a huge difference between a surgeon and someone officiating your wedding... My wedding isn't going to be that serious. I want the ceremony to be light hearted, not professional and strict.

Celia, I don't mean to offend in anyway. But I just think it's a bit much to pay $200 to have someone read for 10mins tops. Just my personal opinion. Just like the harpest that was $700 for 30mins, just ridiculous to me. I'd much rather spend the money on something else. The wedding industry is just outrageous for something's. The price definitely reflect its. We couldn't find a single officiant under $200, and we couldn't get married at our church. And I'd we did it required a $300 "donation".

Also every officiant is goin to have a "first" wedding, or they'll never become "professional".

I feel like I will end up writing out the script anyway, may as well be someone I have a real connection with rather than someone random.

I prefer a professional over a Friendor every time. Learned my lesson with my last MUAH trial.

Alyssa, you realize that it's not 'reading for 10 minutes", right? You'll spend more than that time on the phone just getting to the point where they understand what you want so they can create it. They'll spend more than 10 minutes even just printing out your ceremony and putting it in a book or folder to read from so they don't look like a slob. Then they have to get to your location, ideally more than 10 minutes before your ceremony, so you're not having a coronary about where they are. Then there's the ceremony, which is rarely 10 minutes unless you just want the absolute basics, filing the license and taking the legal responsibility for doing so and following up if there is a mistake made by anyone; them, your witnesses or the clerk. Even my simplest elopements take over two hours from tip to tail; I suggest that anyone's cousin keeps track of the time they spent online trying to find things, talking about the ceremony, stringing all the random parts together and trying to make some sort of articulate presentation that day. I'll bet you it's more time than you (or they) think. It's kind of like the people who think teachers have a sweet deal because they only work 6 hours a day, nine months a year. Ask any teacher and they'll correct you in a heartbeat.

If you don't value pros or understand why they charge what they do, then fine, but I'm sure you'd take offense too at anyone who told you that what you do, ideally well, isn't worth what you're being paid. After all, it only takes 15 minutes to pull a tooth, right? And anyone can design a bridge, or fix a furnace or cook a meal; why is everything so expensive? Oh, I forgot. All of THIS is more expensive because it's the wedding industry. (and by the way, something's should be some things. That's why I get the big bucks.)

If you want to be someone's first wedding, more power to you. My first wedding came after years of public speaking, preaching in church, and two degrees; the same path to expertise that many other pros have to follow. My 'first' wedding was probably my 100th time in front of the public, and it makes a difference, trust me.

So spend the money on shoes, or chair covers or cake pops, but please don't keep thinking that what officiants do is show up and read for 10 minutes, okay? Because that IS offensive.

You're just full of insults Alyssa! A professional officiant doesn't just spend 10 minutes reading. That is ridiculous. And I doubt most do it just make a buck, but they do need to make a living so they can, you know, eat and pay bills. I don't understand how you believe $200 is a lot of money for the most important part of your wedding when most weddings cost 10k+.

I'm probably the only one but I kinda agree with Alyssa's point, if not the way it was worded

Not going to lie, I'm a bit jealous of people who get to have a family/friend officiate their ceremony. I really wanted a friend to officiate mine only to discover that it's not has simple in Ontario, Canada as it is in the USA to become an ordained minister.

Sue, even here, they have to jumpy through some hoops, some states more than others....

Alyssa, I think officiating is so much more than just standing for ten minutes and reading. And Celia, YES I'm a teacher and those comments are so incredibly not true snd offensive. Alyssa, it's ok to have your opinion, but don't insult someone's career.

My brother is officiating our wedding. He is a licensed minister in GA (we live in WA.) Since he's only licensed to officiate in GA, he'll probably have to do some kind of online licensing for the state of WA. But either way, he's an amazing speaker and who better to do than someone who has known me my whole life!