court house then wedding?

Thank you all for yalls advice and kind words. We have decided to just wait till March, We feel it might be too confusing for our guests. However Alycia, I never wanted two weddings and when i said "Court house then wedding" I ment Court house then a ceremony, perhaps next time i should word it correctly. As far as our parents they were okay with the whole thing its our decision, as long as we told everyone it shouldnt matter, and noone said anything about making people give gifts twice. If anything I think your comment was quite ridiculous. Again Thank you to everyone else who helped out, I appreciate yalls advice.

I'm glad you decided to just have the one wedding.

Yes you can do anything you want.

Yeah sure! That's a great idea!!!

@Celia Milton - I so agree with you.

@Bridget - Love it! I may use that. For medical reasons we are considering having a very quiet ceremony then the big celebration within the year.

@Out the Window - I am not big on tradition either. I am fine with what a couple decides to do on this issue.

Just go to the courthouse and do it privately, then have a wedding later. No one but the two of you will know the wedding isn't your actual wedding. It's not hard.

I think if that is what you want to do, do it. We did it for medical/military reasons and we are going to do a full out vow renewal for our 5 year, dress and all. Like they said, just make sure your guests know. I bet they will have fun either way, whether you were already married or not.

You can do What ever you please because it's your life and anyone saying no Is stupid and full of it!!! Your BIG DAY is the big day!!! And you can have a wedding 12 times if you please!!!

I don't know how people say you can't have. a. wedding then a wedding. our whole family calls our wedding "renewal" as either our wedding or wedding celebration not our renewal as long as yall arent lying to get gifts and such than yall can call it what yall want

Of course, just like the other ladies already said. It's a vow renewal & reception.

The courthouse would be your ceremony. After that it would be a vow renewal and/or a party. Which is fine. But a wedding is comprised of a bride and groom (or b&b and g&g). A wedding isn't a wife and a husband. The date you legally become married is your wedding day. That's the date you put on legal papers, taxes, etc. Which date would you celebrate as your anniversary? Because you can't put the second "wedding" as your legal wedding date. Trying to keep up with 2 dates would get too complicated. I'm sorry, it's wrong to get married and then try to have a second wedding just to get your pretty princess day. If you want the big shebang, wait and do it as you've been planning or put one together quickly. Other than severe medical reasons (like being told your fiancé may pass) there is truly no valid reason to try to have 2 weddings. Jump down my throat as I know everyone here will, but that's a fact. People will do it anyways but it doesn't make it right.

You know what? No one here or anywhere else has a right to say that a decision like this isn't 'right'. We have couples living together, couples with babies before marriage, gay couples, interracial couples, mixed religious couple and all kinds of couples doing things that, in another era, would be considered wrong. Ya got cash bars, dollar dances, registry info on invites, brides throwing their own showers, men as 'men of honor', moms walking their daughters down the aisle, serious consideration of potlucks, and a discussion about how someone doesn't want to see her pix because someone wore white.

Do you think there is any 'right? anymore?? You're wrong. Bottom line? What's right is what works for the couple. And what any of us thinks, despite the fact that it makes for good conversation (which is usually ignored) doesn't mean shrit.

Who made the rule of not be able to have 2 weddings??? First off its not 2 weddings. One is a civil ceremony and if you choose to have an actual wedding then that's the wedding. And I agree with Celia, no one has the right to say this decision is not right. I got married on Christmas eve by a notary in my home. It is legally binding yes but it was just a civil ceremony. I will be having my WEDDING...Yes Wedding in September with a Pastor who will bless our marriage and who will also sign our marriage certificate. Katherine YES you can get married and then have your ceremony and reception later. You can do as you please. A lot of people do this.

Thanks Amy. My entire family knows I am already married and they are so excited about the wedding. Not one person has called it a vow renewal and every one is treating it like the wedding that it IS.

I think its a wonderful idea. FH wants a huge ceremony and I wanted something intimate so we are debating having a courthouse ceremony on 11/8 with my grandpa(who may not be able to make it to our wedding the next day), his parents if they can make it(since they are flying in that day) and my mother(who is psycho and i didn't really want to invite) then driving to the town our venue is in that night (sleeping in separate rooms) and having the big ceremony the next day. It has nothing to do with being deceitful, and everything to do with us having something that is meaningful to us.

BTW some of these opinions are getting downright nasty. Be nice people.

Actually, in many European countries, you HAVE to have a civil ceremony in the courts and then, if you choose, a religious ceremony.

I got married June 3, 13 at the courthouse with just our children, parents and grandparents there. We made the decision to keep it private and we are having our Wedding September 2, 13. We are FAR from being a tradition couple. We have been together for 8yrs and have 2 beautiful children. The way we see it is: It is OUR decision, OUR money, and we will do things OUR way. As should you! If no one agrees thats their opinion. If I want to word my invites as "wedding" instead of "vow renewal" then I will and I can. And I highly doubt any of our family would have a tantrum over it. If they do, they'll get over it.

Someone saying you cant get married and then have your wedding afterwards is like someone saying when its your birthday you have to celebrate it that day! Not the day after or weekend after for that matter. Its just silly.

Celebrating a marriage is perfectly fine! But your wedding day is the day you legally become man and wife- whether that be in a courthouse or a church or a country club. The reception held after is to thank your guests for attending the ceremony. If you are legally man and wife (or wife and wife or husband and husband, w/e) you had your wedding. A wedding does not equal fancy dress, big dinner, bridal parties, first dances, etc. A wedding is when two people become one. If you don't want to wait and have a civil ceremony then have a party or celebration sometime after, go for it! I'd be thrilled to attend. But don't pretend it's something that it's not. It's not a wedding. It is a vow renewal if vows are again exchanged.

The civil ceremony everyone here seems to think is no big deal is HUGE deal to same sex couples. Many would give their left arm to be able to have a simple civil wedding By acting as if the civil ceremony is nothing more than paperwork is insulting to marriage

I don't I read anywhere that people had implied a civil ceremony as some little thing. You're about to turn this whole discussion around. My husband and I were married by the JOP for our own reasons, where we had one friend each my DH and I had grown up with. If we had never done it that way, we still wouldn't be married, because having three kids (two from a previous marriage, there are more important things money has to go towards. I've done two JOP marriages, and I wanted things to be different this time and have an actual "wedding". I'm sure everyone realizes that your marriage day is the day you sign your names and become one. No one is putting that down. BUT every woman should also get her day in white if she pleases. The WORD Wedding, is just that, a WORD. You put such emphasis on it, yet you turn around and make it seem like people are belittling the paper you sing to become one. You can't have it both ways. A Wedding is a celebration, the license is the marriage pretty much.