court house then wedding?

As long as everyone invited knows you are already married

We were married by JOP in TX (hubby was in army)...we are having a vow renewal on our 2 yr anniversary in CT (where we are from). Technically, it isn't a wedding, its a vow renewal. But we are doing everything you would for a wedding...white dress, church, reception, cake...if someone didn't know our circumstances, they would think its a wedding. But we worded our STD and invites as a vow renewal.

Oh yea...don't lie or try to hide that you are married! We hurt a lot of feelings trying to do that...plus it didn't last long before word got out. Looking back, that's one of the things we would have done differently.

You can certainly do that BUT don't expect to be able to pass off your vow renewal as a wedding almost a year later. Some people might not go out of their way to attend a vow renewal or send gifts etc. but if that isn't a problem for you than you should just do what you want.

Also I would make sure your parents are on board if they have offered to pay anything for your wedding. You wouldn't want to burn bridges just to save some money on insurance.

We did it ! we got married 10-11-12 for school reasons and our wedding is going to be 05-24-14 . Best decision ever i feel i don't have to stress about every little thing cause my hustar wants it as bad as me and is helping so much

I'm doing this, but only by two days. Our venue is in GA and we want to be married under FL law, so we're going to do the legal courthouse thing on Friday 11/15 and then have our wedding on Sunday 11/17. We're only telling our immediate families that the big ceremony with all the guests won't be legal.

So I guess this is a different situation than doing it months or years before. I figure we can hide it for two days.

As others have said...you can certainly do it, but some people may not take things as seriously.

I have some friends who did the quick courthouse wedding for immigration issues and they just had their big 'wedding celebration" for their five year anniversary. Everyone came, even the husband's parents all the way from Japan! But everyone knew their situation and how they never had a 'real' wedding before.

We were going to do it, but I didn't feel as excited about a vow renewal. I want that pronouncement as husband and wife for the first time with all our friends and family. Since that is really important to me, I decided to just stick it out until the wedding.

Absolutely! My husband and I were married by Justice of peace with the intentions to have an offical wedding later on but we ended up with a divorced after 3 years. We just got remarried again by justice of peace and will remarry in March '14 in a formal ceremony followed by the reception.

Your wedding is when you get married, so...no. You can't get married now, then again later unless you get divorced in between. You could do a vow renewal I guess, but you'd need to call it that.

We did it too it is becoming more common we got married in our Church in March for medical reasons and he is marrying us again this August it wasn't a secret he told me we could keep it on the down low if we wanted but I posted facebook pictures and changed my name. I didn't want to hid it. One our wedding invites I used both of our last names on it we put a celebration of our marriage but our wording wasn't traditional it was like a story of us. Honesty is the best policy in the senerio my family is really supportive of my husband and I, they still threw me a bridal shower and a lot of ladies showed up, so far on rsvp a lot of people are coming I think that is because we didn't try to hid it. My Aunt hated it it she threw everything in my face eventually she came around I mean it is my life my wedding my ceremonys she isn't paying for it so IDK.

My pastor and photographer both said getting married before the big day is so common now and we were not the first to do i

We're not doing this exactly, but we're having our (big) wedding in the USA, but having an informal beach celebration over here afterwards. Nobody here cares; they're all calling it a wedding, so I'm not too fussed. They all know we're getting officially married in the USA first.

Do what you want. More and more couples do it every day.....your wedding is a public celebration of your relationship and you should be able to orchestrate that any way you see fit. I do recommend that you tell your parents though.

It's called renewing your vows. It's a great idea(:

No you don't get two weddings. If you want the benefits sooner get married sooner. If you go the courthouse route that is your wedding. Anything else is just a re-do or a party. You can't have a wedding if you're already man and wife. You can do a vow renewal (though having one so close to your wedding date would be a little weird) and a great party but that means no poufy dress, no first dances, cake cutting, registering, etc. You can also just throw a huge party to celebrate.

What is more important- getting benefits a little early or having the wedding you always imagined?

Alycia, as long as she's paying for it and not lying to anyone, I believe she can do whatever she would like.

I don't see what's the big deal. Then again, I image in a JP wedding being small and intimate (less than 20 people) and a brunch, lunch or dinner afterwards. Not some big shebang with a huge cocktail party and a DJ or bamd. If you're not requesting gifts or cash from people you're not inviting to the first "wedding" and not requesting a 2nd round pf gifts from those who did contribute to the first wedding, then what's the big deal of throwing a specified vow renewal with more people later?

My sister essentially had 2 parties. She had a destination wedding in Maui with 12 people and 3 months later she had a huge reception of 300 people in NY. No one thought any less of her.

A vow renewal, if done correctly isn't an issue. Trying to have two weddings is. As an adult you have to make hard choices. Do I get married now to receive benefits sooner or do I wait and go along with my original plan? You can't have 2 weddings. If you go the courthouse route when March comes around you will be a wife not a bride. Doing this makes a mockery of marriage. "OH we'll just do the pesky paperwork and have a wedding later!" nope. Do you know how many people would kill to be able to sign that "pesky paperwork"? Marriage is when two people become one. Trying to double do it is ridiculous.

Two, imagine how your parents and your guests would feel. They want to witness the actual marriage, not a re-enactment. Either get married now or let them witness the actual thing later. If you want to have the vow renewal, forgo the wedding party, huge dress, first dances, etc. Word the invites as "please join us to celebrate the marriage of "her" and "him" on ___. and throw a huge party!

Mehh... I guess I'm just not that into tradition or etiquette. Divorces and not legalizing gay marriages is a mockery IMO. I say as long as the guests know they're already legally married then go for it and not asking for twice the gifts id be happy to see you in your pretty fluffy dress and dance the night away with you.

I'm sending stds that say on 8-x-13 I become his wife, on 7-xx-14 I will become his bride.

When we got engaged, we were both starting new jobs and paying off debt and the only way we would see each other (because of the living situations at the time) was if we moved in together. For religious reasons we wanted to remain pure so we got married and haven't told anyone except our parents. Our wedding is in March and we want to celebrate with everyone. You're not being deceitful...the people you invite love you for you and want to celebrate your friendship and future. Congrats!!