Confused

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There are tons of things for your wedding that you are allowed to decide without outside input, as long as you are paying for it. Things that involve other people's comfort don't fall into that category, however.

I agree that it's your wedding and you make final decisions but lets also remember its not just dinner.

Its getting ready together, driving together, picture time, cocktail hour, pre-wedding pics speeches, then dinner the only time they are together is during dancing. Which is fine if that's what you want but lets not make it seem like its an hour get over it.

I've been on both sides of the spectrum and I'm an extrovert so I adapt and talk to people easily but not everyone is me and some might feel awkward and out of place. Do unto others as you want others to do unto you! if you don't want sweetheart table then don't get it. Your wedding your the boss just stating how I feel.

Ive NEVER been to a wedding where significant others sat at the head table just because their partner is in the wedding.
Its not like the girlfriend with be away from him all night. They sit at the head table for dinner and thats it. We are having a head table and not having spouses sit with them-although alot of our wedding party is married to eachother lol. But only a few will have their spouses sit elsewhere.
I dont find it rude at all. Its your day. Just sit her somewhere with people she knows and tell hers its just for dinner. Remember its your day

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Read the comment directly above yours re: "it's just dinner."

I said it before on this thread and I'll say it again: I was the significant other in this case and it was the most uncomfortable experience. On the flip side of you, that was the only wedding I've ever been to where the SOs were at separate tables.

Comfort of the nearest and dearest people in your lives > aesthetics.

View Quoted Comment Ive read all the comments. Ive also been to weddings where my fiance was in the wedding or officianting the wedding and i had to sit away from him for awhile or get ready separately and saw him after dinner. I made it work and pushed through. It wasnt my day and i never felt like it was a big deal to me. Its not about "aesthetics" as you put it, its about what the couple wants for the day. I was fine with it others weddings and now its my wedding and i will do the same. Everyone will survive ❤

If you are not willing to give up the "head table", the least you can do is offer your brother the option of sitting with his partner rather than the head table. Dinner may only be an hour but the assigned seating is for all night. Someone else at the table you put his partner at may not be willing to give up their seat so he can join her after dinner.

View Quoted Comment What with time for seating, entrances, meal toasts, and sitting at tables watching first dances, cake cutting, that separates couples often for up to 2.5 hours of a 4 hour event. And while they often missed most of cocktails due to pictures, during the latter part of the reception, any time they are together and not dancing, they are taking someone else's seat. Which disrupts other guests. Either have one or two tables where WP and their SO sit together with rest of WP and their SO. Or let the wedding party spread out to lots of tables, seated with own SO or family, and WP not together after entrance. Either works, and keeps WP and SO happy . It has been years and years, lots of weddings, since I have been to one that segregated WP, and seated their dates elsewhere.

View Quoted Comment Yeah totally agree!! Of course it’s up to you and what you want for your wedding, sounds like you are pretty set on not having her at the table and having a head table so if that’s the case that’s fine. But do consider this comment, it is really the entire day at that point.


I’ve been in this scenario and it was nice to finally be together at dinner because the whole day is spent without your significant other and with people you don’t know. If she knows other people at the wedding really well and is a similar age that’s a different story, but it is definitely hard when you don’t know anyone and are alone most of the day (speaking for most significant others in that situation). But again, your wedding, your choice!

I was in a friends wedding and the bridal party sat at the head table with their significant others and the B and G. My FH who was just my bf at the time sat w us as did everyone else’s so. I don’t think anyone’s so was in the wedding party together. I’m all for it’s you’re wedding, do what you want, and I would never add someone to your wedding party bc they are dating someone already in your wedding party (a friend did that and it was a disaster). However, if it’s doable i wouldn’t split up couples. If the gf doesn’t really know anyone it may really suck sitting alone for dinner.

We are doing a sweethearts table. To me they stood with us through the ceremony so for the reception they should be able to sit with their significant other. Plus I just think the sweethearts table is better for the focus on the bride and groom.