Confused

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Ditto, but I posted before I saw you post this. It's definitely NOT just dinner.

View Quoted Comment Great minds 😉

Splitting up couples is not even an option for us. Sure it’s my wedding, but my guests are people I love and are important to me, and I would never in a million years want to make them feel uncomfortable at my wedding. We are waiting to see what our final headcount is, and then we will decide on table placement based on those numbers – either bridal party and significant others sitting at the head table, or FH & I sitting at a sweetheart table and wedding party & their SO’s sitting with them at other tables throughout the room. I know some brides want it to be all about them, but for me, my guests having a positive experience is way more important than aesthetics

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I feel like you are inside my head typing out MY thought process on this scenario when we were deciding on how to seat everyone for our wedding! Haha!

Personally I say do whatever you want. I've been to more than 10 weddings and have never seen significant others at the head table but everyone on here thinks its rude. Might be a regional thing!

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Would YOU want to sit with strangers at a table "near" your significant other, but not with them? If you're super outgoing that might not seem bad, but try to put yourself in the position of someone who is more of an introvert and/or shy and/or has any level of social anxiety.... What you're suggesting is potentially very uncomfortable, maybe even torturous for them. I agree, over the course of the day, for a SO of a member of the wedding party there are just so many possibilities for awkward. They've already made a pretty big sacrifice to figure out how to entertain themselves while their SO was involved in pre-wedding activities, time for "getting ready"/photos/the ceremony/cocktail hour/etc. Even if the venue charges more for a Sweetheart table, how much can it be? A couple hundred dollars? Many people find it very uncomfortable, and potentially rude, to be separated from their significant other. Thank God for the Sweetheart table!

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I so agree with you on this! I have never even been to a wedding where a sweet heart table is a thing they do so I think it really is a regional thing.

We OK'd a head table with our wedding party before committing to it. Everyone said it was totally fine (sweetheart tables are super uncommon in our area. All the weddings I've been to have a head table) and asked if their SOs could be seated near us at least which we are 110% able to do!

I would speak with your wedding party and see where their comfort level is. If they would rather sit with their SOs, either add them to head table or just do sweetheart table and have wedding party at tables near you

In the end its your day and your decision, but it's also great to take into consideration what your wedding party and their SOs would prefer

So I can see this from both sides. I gave all of the single people in my bridal party plus ones and I have made sure that I can make room at the head table for everyone's dates. We have three 8 ft tables so 24 people can be seated at the head table. We have 7 bridesmaid, 7 groomsmen, and 3 ushers. Of our wedding party, we know of 4 that will for sure bring someone (spouse, gf, bf). This puts us at 23 people. If more of them decide on a +1, I can definitely figure something out. Personally, I would not bring a random date to a wedding that I was in for this exact reason. Between the ceremony, photos, dinner, etc, you're inviting someone to spend an entire day mingling with complete strangers. BUT in your case it's not a random person. It's your brother's gf. I would definitely make an attempt to fit her, and any other plus one, at the head. Is there a reason that you can't right now?

We're not doing a head table. My FH and I will have a sweetheart table and guests, including members of the bridal/wedding party with sit with their so's or guest that came with them. It think it would be uncomfortable or awkward for guests to have to sit by themselves at a table where they do not know anyone.

I didn't read through all of the comments here, but my opinion is you do what you want. We are just going to have a sweetheart table. My sister, who got married in 2007, had a head table, and it was just the bridal party, no spouses. And guess what? Everyone had a great time. No one complained that they were away from their spouse for dinner.

However, that was a long time ago, and I'm sure "etiquette" has changed since then. Plus, everyone in the bridal party's spouses knew other people at the wedding, so it's not like they were sitting at tables with random strangers.

Good luck!

It is super annoying to be split up from you SO for the reception. IMO the only acceptable options are a sweetheart table and wedding party sits with their SO or a King Table where SO sit with the bridal party at the head table.

I wouldn't split a couple up regardless of who's in the wedding party. It just doesn't feel like being a proper host if one of my guests are uncomfortable because I've broken up their main social unit.

My sister had a head table at her wedding where all of the bridal party sat on the same side as the bride and groom and our partners / dates sat across the table. Do you have that option?!

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It is so regional. My FH is from the mid-west and I am from the east coast. I just assumed we would have a sweetheart table and he just assumed we would have a head table. Once we discovered we were on different pages, we compromised with a King's Table. I was adamantly against separating SO and he wanted to be with the wedding part, so the King's Table was the compromise.

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I'm from the Mid West and so is my FH, so neither one of us have ever even seen a sweet heart table at an actual wedding. On TV yes, but we both don't care for how they look. I think a King's table is great, but that didn't work either for us because we would have been over what the venue can fit with the layout we preferred. I know it's a silly thing to say that, but if it makes a difference all of the bridal party is also from the mid west so I'm not too worried about them being offended (which sounds way harsher than I want it to).

View Quoted Comment I don't think that it's so much just a regional thing rather how some people feel. As someone posted previously that for someone that is completely extraverted sitting at a table where you don't mind getting to know other people is not a big deal. But I think the things that people are not taking into account is when they say it's just dinner as a few people pointed out this person is going to be involved in the wedding party meaning that before the day during the ceremony after ceremony for pictures they are going to be unavailable so his girlfriend is already going to spend a lot of time by herself and then during the dinner which between dancing and serving takes time even if it is Buffet is more time that she cannot be by her significant other. Probably the reason that she's upset is because she does not feel comfortable being around people she's not that close with. I have been to weddings quite a few times by myself and in my earlier twenties I was probably a little more sociable but now I hate going to weddings by myself and I don't know any of the guests except for the bride. It's uncomfortable trying to make small talk and then if everybody already knows each other they team tend to keep to themselves. I think like others have said at the end of the day it is your day and you need to do what you want and will also make you happy whether it makes her happy or not. However, hopefully you don't start things off the wrong foot with her either. I I can see your perspective in that maybe she was making your wedding about her but I think it was just more her way of saying that she just does not feel comfortable meeting people that she doesn't know very well. However if you were in her situation you may not feel that way and maybe you don't necessarily see where she's coming from. This young lady could be just a girlfriend or she could turn into a future wife so I think there's nothing wrong with standing your ground and saying that you want to have this head table but I do feel that you should maybe understand where she's coming from and maybe reach out to her I just explained why you chose indecision and bad it something that you always imagined for your day and that you just hope that she understands. At least that way you're showing some empathy towards her.

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Have either your or you FH been a SO at a wedding where they are in the wedding party. It really sucks in my experience. I would never do that to someone.

But as others have said, it is your day do what you want.

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It really is a regional thing. Different regions are slower to change with the times (no offense meant here). Head tables are more traditional. King Table's and Sweetheart tables are a newer concept.

I agree with you completely for the reason to change to include SOs, but I wouldn't discount people's culture.

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Yup, literally this last summer. I was in the wedding party and my FH was not. We were seated near each other but not at the same table. Not a big deal. We saw each other the rest of the night and had a great time. I would never put my friend in the position of making them feel bad because I couldn't sit next to my SO that is so wrong because it's not about us in that moment it's about the bride and groom having their day.