Confused

I've only been in one wedding where they did a head table vs. sweetheart table and it was when we were in our 20's and most of us just had dates, I think they were the first in our group to get married. My date was seated with my parents, otherwise, he wouldn't have known anyone else. Most of the other weddings did wedding party and their date/SO seated together or the couple sat at a table with some of the bridal party and their date/SO.

View Quoted Comment

I think it really depends on your personality type. I have just had miserable experiences as the SO (so has my SO). It isn't like we say anything to the bride or groom, we just sucked it up. As a bride, I want everyone to have a good time and be comfortable. It is my and my FH day, but I believe that guest should be treated as guest and their experience should matter.

I decided to just do a sweetheart table with my MOH and her fiance on one side of the table and FH's 2 best men and the one's wife and the other's plus one on the other side of the table. We have a huge wedding party and to include everyone's plus one at the head table would just be a disaster. This way they can all sit with their significant others and enjoy dinner together.

View Quoted Comment Now or Never discount someone's culture and as I said if it's something that's really important to the original poster then she should definitely do it. My only suggestion would just be to reach out and maybe explain this to the bride because maybe she doesn't understand. I don't think I have been to a wedding at all where there was a head table for all the bridal party. Even when I was a bridesmaid I usually just sat with different guess that I just knew from the wedding.

I have never seen significant others sitting with the bridal party during dinner so I’m surprised to hear so many people say this is uncommon! I guess it is whatever is common in your area!

I think sweetheart tables are becoming more of a thing and are a really cute idea. I am getting married in Mexico and have only seen sweetheart tables done at my venue so I am not sure its that regional? Personally, I think it's considerate to let people sit with their partners. Unless I knew a ton of people at the wedding, I would hate being alone for a majority of it, or even just dinner. Does this girl know anyone else at the wedding where it would be appropriate for her to sit at that table? If so, then I think it's ok.

On the other hand... I would have never complained to the bride about this type of thing.

View Quoted Comment I’ve had to sit alone at a wedding when my fiancé was best man. I didn’t know anyone at the wedding and it was miserable. In fact my fiancé didn’t like it either and we left (because he wanted to, not me) right after dinner. He felt it was disrespectful of our relationship to split us up and I have to say I agreed. It wasn’t fun and that’s really the only thing I remember about that wedding...being miserable.

We had a sweetheart table and then put our BP with their SOs/friends, all throughout the seating plan. This way, we had a little time to ourselves, and our BP could also have fun.

View Quoted Comment *high five* I love brides/couples who value the experience of their guests! There is something to be said about being a gracious host

My FH and I were wanting a wedding party table and most of them have SOs. FH wanted assigned tables and a plated dinner, so I got to thinking. Most of them will want to move seats/tables after the dinner and that would take others' seats. So I told FH that it would be in the best interest due to assigned tables and a plated dinner, that we have a sweetheart table and have separate tables for our wedding party and SOs. If you aren't assigning tables, then I don't think it's a big deal to continue with your choice of a wedding party table without their SOs. I also have not seen wedding party tables that included SOs, so I think everyone will be fine at the end of the night. I was each time my FH and I weren't in the wedding party together. However, if you are doing assigned tables, I'd reconsider and think about doing a sweetheart table.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks! I am just that type of person. Not a "Bridezilla" and not an "It's all about me" attitude. These people, our wedding guests, are our treasured family and friends. They are spending their time and money to travel, stay in a hotel, and purchase wedding gifts for us. I'm grateful that they would do that for me and FH!

View Quoted Comment We are not doing assigned tables. It’s caused to much of a fight and my FH wanted immediate family at the head table to so I’m letting them have their way

View Quoted Comment

I agree and am doing the same thing. All our friends have been in weddings and sat separately from their SOs for dinner and no one has/have had a problem with it! We did it for them, they'll do it for us!

Maybe the girlfriend is just anxious about having to sit with your family alone? Maybe make a plus one table so she can sit with the other bridal party dates!

View Quoted Comment

Exactly. Every wedding my FH or I have been to never have we seen a sweetheart table. I'm happy that someone else agrees. Not going to lie kind of felt attacked on this one. My FH sat at SO's table and was just fine. Plus if they are invited to the rehearsal dinner its not like a complete stranger. I don't know if I'm the only one but in that situation I try to at least get to know someone since I would know my FH would be busy for part of the night.

View Quoted Comment So here’s the thing we have the MofH and the BM then I’m doing one of the little girls I’ve watched since she was a baby as a little bridesmaid. That is the extent of the bridal party. My MofH doesn’t care either way if her SO sits with her but since I’m doing my head table because that’s what everyone else wants it doesn’t matter anymore. It just upsets me that I can’t do anything I want the way I want to do it. Everyone else wants it their way and it really upsets me and no one seems to understand that, but whatever.

View Quoted Comment

You are good! I've never been to a wedding with a sweetheart table either, I thought the way we were doing it was the norm! Maybe it's a regional thing? I never heard about sweetheart tables until I joined on here! I think sweethearts are nice too, but like you, my venue only does it the way we are doing it, and all of our bridal party and their dates are completely fine with it!

View Quoted Comment

Oh my gosh! Do it your way. Your MOH seems to understand and be understanding about this. It's your day and you shouldn't have to compromise what you want to please others.

View Quoted Comment

I completely agree with this.

We are having a head table. Significant others wont be at it. If they wanna be upset about it, they can be. I'm not changing my mind. It's a 20 minute span of time. Theyll get over it and I dont care.

Tradition is a terrible reason to be rude to people. Splitting up couples is rude. Why would it be okay to do that to your most honored guests, the bridesmaids and groomsmen? Why would you want to split up couples at an event honoring love? How would you feel if you had to sit apart from your husband at your wedding?

There are any number of seating options that don't involve splitting up your wedding party from their SOs. There are the aforementioned sweetheart table and King's table options, but you could also sit with your parents, with your siblings, with just your MOH + SO and BM + SO, with the members of your wedding party that are single, with the coupled members at another table or sat with other friends, etc. There are so many options that are not rude.