Confused

So are all the wedding party members sitting at a table separately from all of their plus ones/spouses/partners?

I am not a fan of splitting up couples. I think your wedding day is about what you want as long as that doesn’t effect other people. Colors, music, dress, etc pick what you want! But when it comes to guest experience and basic things like not separating couples then you’ve got to think about other people when you choose to invite guests. I say this as someone who has been separated from my significant other at a wedding and been miserable.

I find it pretty rude to split couples up just so that your friends can sit on display for dinner, but if that's what you want, that's your prerogative. She will be fine.

View Quoted Comment So what your saying is even if one person is not in the bridal party still let them sit with the bridal party or the person in the bridal party just doesn’t sit with the bridal party.


I mean it’s not like they will be separated the entire time just for dinner.

View Quoted Comment It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a head table where significant others weren’t included. In the weddings I’ve been in in the past few years it’s been wedding party with their significant others sitting at the head table as well or just a sweetheart table with the bride and groom. I know people say it’s just dinner but it really sucks to be alone and feel awkward during dinner when everyone else is sitting with their significant others.

Is it possible for you to just do a sweetheart table instead of a head table? That would also allow for couples who are involved in the wedding party to sit with their SO. A lot of general feedback from people who have had their weddings say that you don't get a lot of opportunities just you and your FH, you spend the whole wedding basically entertaining family/friends. Maybe take that time to reconnect with FH before all the dancing and entertaining for the rest of the evening?

It's quite common to address this issue in one of two ways. First, the B&G sit together at a "sweetheart" table, and the members of the wedding party sit with their partners, either all together or mixed with other guests at various tables. The second option is to have a "King's" table, which is kind of like the old traditional "head" table (of just the B&G and wedding party), but also includes all the wedding party's significant others. As you might imagine, that could potentially be a pretty large group. In my experience, the sweetheart table is the most common at weddings now. Even if the traditional head table "just" separates people from their significant others for the meal, that can easily be more than an hour, leaving their guests stuck in awkward conversations with people they don't know or don't know well. You've asked these people to be an important part of celebrating your relationship; they might find it rude that you aren't respecting their relationships by forcing them to sit separately.

View Quoted Comment I’ve NEVER seen significant others sitting with the bridal party unless they are both a part of the bridal party.

They can deal for dinner. We are doing the same thing. I would have had to pay extra to have a sweetheart table and frankly I saw the layout my venue would have with a sweetheart table and I hated it. Dinner is an hour, maybe less they can handle being apart for dinner. Last wedding I was in same thing, I didn't sit next to my FH wasn't a big deal we were together the rest of the night anyway.

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Do you have to have a table like that? Most weddings I have been to it is just the bride and groom at a sweet heart table. I can see why she is upset because she is going to a wedding where she probably does not know anyone and has to sit and make small talk with people. I know at my age I hate that. I will sometimes avoid events in which I only know one person and that person will be doing other things. There are times when people do make the wedding about them but I can agree with the pp's in that splitting up couples may not be the best move. You could do it but I would not have them there for long. I am sure he wants to spend time with her too.

For our wedding we are having a sweetheart table with the two of us, and having the bridal party sit at regular assigned tables with their significant other/family. I personally think it's better that way, and definitely wouldn't want to separate couples.

View Quoted Comment Okay. It’s something to think about and consider. I think you’ve gotten a lot of great feedback on peoples experiences with sweetheart tables and Kings tables. Personally I loved our sweetheart table and wouldn’t have changed a thing. I would just think about if this is something you feel strongly about and want to fight with your brother’s girlfriend on or find a compromise.

View Quoted Comment That’s how I feel. Dinner is not going to be that long. We are doing buffet style. She can sit at the nearest table to us.

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Yeah exactly, my FH was seated super close to me. I could still kind of talk to him when we were seated even. It really isn't that big of a deal. We are doing buffet style too and family style for the head table. But dinner will be less than an hour then everyone can basically just enjoy the reception, have a fun time and be with their significant other.

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You can decide based on posts here and upon speaking with your fiancé.

I've only ever been to one wedding where this happened. My boyfriend at the time was a groomsman in his cousin's wedding. Honestly, dinner was awkward as hell for me. I was with his parents (great people) and a bunch of the groom's uncles and aunts. I was 21 and the age gap between me and the others was prominent. At a wedding where I already didn't know many people (and no one I knew well besides my boyfriend and his brother, also a groomsman), it was just uncomfortable. I'd never want any of my guests to feel like that. We're also, like PPs, doing a sweetheart table and sitting all members of the wedding party with their significant others at tables where they know people.

Pretty much every single member of our wedding party is either dating, engaged, or already married to someone else who is not in the wedding party. We disliked the idea of splitting up couples, so we opted for a sweetheart table instead of a traditional "head table".

I was the GF in this situation before and it sucked. My BF was the best man for his brother, so I knew his parents and that was pretty much it, so I was seated with strangers and it was awkward. I know pp are saying “it’s just dinner they can deal with it” but it’s not just dinner, it’s the ceremony, cocktail hour, and whatever other duties the best man has that takes him away. So now “just dinner” is actually “the entire wedding except maybe the last two hours”.
This is why Kings tables and sweetheart tables are popular now and you barely see head tables anymore.

I really want a head table so that’s what we’re doing but we’re not having their SO sitting at the head table or else that would make it almost 25 people up there and there’s no way they would fit. I’m just having them sit close to the head table. They’ll survive it’s only 45 mins for dinner 🤷🏼‍♀️ But if you add her then yes you would have to add everyone else’s SOs

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"it's just dinner" But it's not just dinner, is it? It's for the entire getting ready portion of the day (all morning and early afternoon in many cases), travel to the ceremony, sitting at ceremony, the ceremony itself, travel to the reception, the whole photo taking process, and THEN all of dinner.

Sure, it's your wedding, and you don't need to schedule your day with others in mind, but it is kind and considerate to do so, especially when a sweetheart table or King table are such simple solutions.

View Quoted Comment 100% agree