Cheating husband, Remarry him?

By the way I'm with @The Centerpiece Flowers... very well said! Two thumbs up!!!

I also think it too soon and should wait at least a year.

This is really up to you, and not the sort of thing I'd be trolling the internet for advice on (but that's me...). Do YOU want to do this? Do YOU feel like it can happen the way you want, both emotionally and financially? If you want to do this, can afford to do it, in terms of time, money, and emotion-- then go ahead. If something is holding you back (and that's why you asked here) then listen to that voice.

OMG I was on the same page as centerpiece!

Your posts are always so on point!

I think @Centerpiece is also a psychiatrist. You always go the the deep root of a situation and talk truth.

I forgot their was an original post about this.

You entitled your thread, "Cheating Husband".

hmmmm good catch @centerpiece.

And where is the OP?!

Maybe she actually working at work. lol She's new she didn't get addicted to WW yet

I don't think you should have a vow renewel at all, sorry... I agree with Centerpiece... you wrote "Cheating Husband".. not "My husband cheated" so (as I know you already conceded) you are not over this.

Definitely think that your H will just use this as a reason to say "Case closed" and not have to talk about it anymore. I wouldn't want a ring from my H that I got because of an affair... every time I see it, I will just think about him sleeping with that other person.

IF you are serious about working things through, I don't think H should plan a vow renewal for you. Instead he should just show you through every day things that he loves you and can be trusted. Don't need a party to cap off that he f&cked up. Best of luck if you are still reading all these posts!

I am 25, my husband is 31

We are in couples counseling

Given any other time in life, I would not have worked things out, I would have left and ripped up all his pickptures highschool style, but something about having a four day old baby just changed things. I hope we are making the right choice.

When I say three month affair, he was hanging around her for 3 months, things only got physical twice, but for three months she was brought into his group of coworkers, he now has a different job and we moved to a different town 3 hours away.

We did have taxing schedules, we were saving up for baby, I wirked 12 hour night shifts, he worked morning 10 hour days... I was on pelvic rest. Not exuses but just telling our story.

I took off the ring the day he told me, and I have not put it back on, that's why I'm assuming he mentioned a new ring.

I always joked that I wish we had a better proposal story to tell, which is why I think he wants to re ask.

As for a vow renewal, we didn't write our own vows, and if we had a small ceremony, I yhink I would want this.. So would it still be a renewal if we aren't saying the same thing??

@Redo bride... for sure kids definitely change things. In almost all instances, a SO doesn't cheat if there aren't some issues in the relationship

I think most of the posters are against you having the renewal in general, and not arguing the semantics if it is a "renewal" or not

You have already been married. So this is a vow renewal. Doesn't matter if you didn't write your own vows, you took vows during your original ceremony "to have and to hold" etc.

I get why you want to work out the issues and stay in the marriage, but I don't think a vow renewal will help you get over it.

I hope you can figure it all out though!

I don't have the answer for you, but I was wondering, why haven't you put your old ring back on? I think you really want this to work, and I don't disbelieve that it can work for your family, but as with the others I'm sensing something (maybe even it's subconscious for you) that you're not quite ready yet. And that's ok. It JUST happened. I absolutely love the idea of the vow renewal, but when you renew your vows you have to be 100% committed to them, and so does he. There has to be the trust between you that you both are 100% committed. I think *when* you can say yes to this and he can say yes to this, that is when you're ready.

Best of luck.

I'm glad you two are in counseling. Hopefully you will get to the root of the problem and figure out better coping mechanisms and ways to communicate with each other to prevent another betrayal in your relationship. I understand that you'd want a "fresh start," so to speak. But I think you should continue with the counseling and give yourself time to heal, so that if and when you do a vow renewal later on down the road, it's from an authentic place rather than trying to fix something.

Nope. You also wouldn't rehire an employee that stole.

I would be more focused on my child and relationship to be worrying about having a vow renewal....

Two years is way too soon to invite anyone to a vow renewal, which you'd be doing for personal reasons. If you do it, it should be just you and him.

I honestly don't think we have enough insight into your relationship to advise you either way. HiH's first answer is my favorite. I think it would be jumping the gun to read into things like what you titled the post. However, others are right in the fact that you need to do some soul searching to make sure you're ready to forgive him and renew your vows. Only you, your husband, and a therapist can make this decision.

I honestly don't think we have enough insight into your relationship to advise you either way. HiH's first answer is my favorite. I think it would be jumping the gun to read into things like what you titled the post. However, others are right in the fact that you need to do some soul searching to make sure you're ready to forgive him and renew your vows. Only you, your husband, and a therapist can make this decision.