Cheating husband, Remarry him?

I second what @Mrs. Robin Valentine. It's usually a bad idea to involve your family and friends in your marriage. I personally wouldn't forgive someone who cheated on me. I'm quick to cut people out of my life. But I understand you wanting to work on your marriage and family. I think you should wait a bit for the vow renewal. And when you do have a private DW with you your husband and children.

Hell Yes to the new bigger ring.

Only you can decide but i wouldn't make a big thing of it like HIH said. I hope you have a FU account set up

It would be a vow renewal, but you need to really, really be ready for this; as several people said, it's not a bandaid, and I think your family (presuming they know?) will think it's a little too soon to make a public proclamation of your renewed vows.

There is no rush, and this won't help the healing. Make a bit more progress and then go from there.

I could MAYBE forgive FH if he had a stupid, meaningless one-night stand, but a three month affair while you're pregnant is a whole different ball game. Have you guys gone to counseling? I strongly recommend that you go to counseling before you commit to this vow renewal.

Counseling. 7 months is a bit quick and it's likely that you guys are in the honeymoon phase of things. Things were always a lot better for several months after I'd catch my ex doing something bad (selling drugs, using drugs, other women), but it never lasted bc we didn't do the hard, painful work on ourselves and the relationship. We talked and made promises and put on our best behavior and then moved on.

I like the idea of renewing your vows, especially after what you guys have been through. However, like others have said I would make sure it is on your terms. I think you should wait a little. Continue building your relationship and maybe even see a marriage counselor. Once you're ready, maybe have a smaller ceremony.

Oy.....I personally wouldn't do this with anyone else present. You aren't really doing this to celebrate your marriage, you're doing it as a fresh start. I would only want my husband there, groveling as he re-commits to me. But that's totally just my opinion.

Have you guys gone to counseling? I'm sorry but if you haven't, this all sounds like a very bad idea.

A wife contacted me about renewing their vows -- just the two of them on the beach. She told me that she had cheated, but they had worked things out and he had forgiven her. When she e-mailed her vows to me, she mentioned the cheating. I suggested leaving out that part since they were starting anew. She insisted that it remain in there because her cheating was the reason for the vow renewal. So, that's what she said in the ceremony. They seemed to be really in love and wanting to preserve their marriage.

If YOU think a vow renewal is the right thing for the two of you, do it -- either with families or in a private ceremony.

Happy in Hawaii nailed it, and I disagree (respectfully) with Mrs. Valentine. I think it's a positive thing that you have been open with your close family. Relationships don't exist in a vacuum, and if you both develop and nurture a support system among people you trust, you'll both have an environment in which to make good decisions and work through hard times in the future.

I think it is great that you want to try and fix things. Maybe you can, maybe the vow renewal will be what you need. But just remember if he cheated on you when you needed him most who is to say he wont do it again. Also think about what kind of person you want to raise your child to be. Every action you and your husband make reflects on the lives of your children, the good and the bad. Accepting the fact that he cheated on you can make your child feel later in life these actions are acceptable. Everything is possible and I am not trying to be negative Nancy. I have just been in your shoes and I know that everyone woman deserves better than that. Best Wishes!

I think if you take him back this easily after something this major he will see that as a sign of weakness on your part and think that is you standard, your accepting point. Therefore that is what he will give you in return.

A vow renewel/wedding will not change what he wants to dish out to you. Let him know cheating is NOT ok and him trying to make you feel guilty for his indiscretions shouldn't push you into renewing your vows. You need to be the strong, courageous that a woman that women can be. Stand up to him. Show him your backbone. Hope this wasn't to blunt.

Edited for spelling..oops.

I think all the highlights have been hit but I just wanted to say I agree with @Mrs Robin Valentine. I think that if you tell those close to you every thing about your relationship, when you forgive your SO they can't. It leads to resentment and other issues that can tear a relationship apart. My sister's with a cheater and I'll never, ever forgive him. She knows that but she can't take it back. She's moved on but as a family who loves her, we never will.

I feel so bad for you. I went through the same thing with my ex husband. He also tried to fix thing by buying me a new ring (I wouldn't wear my other one after I found out about the affair). Things did get better for a few months after but I could never get past the fact that he had been unfaithful. Eventually he gave in to his old ways and he cheated again. After that we filed for divorce. The healing process after a spouse cheats is going to take a long time and I wish you the best of luck. I myself couldn't do it.

I think that if he is serious about moving forward I would recommend some couples counseling. Make him prove that this was a one time thing. However, if you two chose to be together and want to get remarried I agree to do it as some sort of vow renewal.

I have to agree with @hanginghere, Your a better person than I for trying to work things out and to forgive the affair.

Remember the scene in Waiting to Exhale when Angela Bassett's character sets her cheating husbands clothes on fire in the front yard and defaces his car? That'd totally be me.

I don't mean to be blunt and just throw out there, but how old are you?

You look young from what I can see in your profile picture.

Ask yourself why you got married in the first place. ( him too) This might answer a lot of your questions.

You said "I've been thinking about it, and maybe it would be a good thing. I have not fully moved on (of course) so maybe this would be the step I need?"

YOU ARE NOT SURE OF THIS DECISION. I do the same thing you are doing, asking for approval. You have "maybes" and you have questions in that sentence instead of "I am ready for this. Its time I move on."

Talk to someone (as others have said) and if you really see a change, then go for it. But 7 months isn't that long. I would wait it out, time will only tell what he will do. He's still in the remorseful stage.

I think he may be thinking that if he gets you to get "Remarried" to him then you will be forced to Forgive and "forget" about it, (I put that in " because nobody will forget that) then if you have any accusations you wont say anything. You don't want him to get mad and say "Isn't this why we had the vow renewal?! So you would move on from it? Now you're just going to accuse me of things any time you want?!"

Take your time. There is no rush. You are questioning this for a reason, you're not sure if you're ready.

I think a vow renewal is too soon. Unlike some of the other posters, I do think it is possible to repair a relationship that went through infidelity. However, I think you definitely should be in couples counseling if you aren't already and- it has only been a few months!! Definitely not enough time. I would *maybe* consider a vow renewal for your one-year anniversary. In that case, I would just do it the 3 of you- you, your husband, and your child on a beach vacation somewhere.

You entitled your thread, "Cheating Husband". Perhaps, on a subconscious level, that's still the way you think of him? If so, it's too soon. Secondly, you have a daughter together. Whenever there are children -- especially little ones -- in the mix, there is an added pressure to keep the marriage together. Mothers can tolerate a lot if they think it is better for their children. Ask yourself -- how much does she play into your decision? Also, money gets tighter if the couple splits up, visitation schedules have to made, plus child support. Yes, it's a mess, and sometimes It's easier to believe that this his infidelity was a one time thing he'll never do again -- if it keeps things stable. What I'm saying is that we all lie to ourselves sometimes -- not deliberately, but we still do. Take all the time you need to find out what you really believe is best for you.

You wrote, "I have not fully moved on (of course) so maybe this would be the step I need?". If you haven't fully moved on, a vow renewal ceremony with your immediate family members is not the step you need. In fact, in his mind, that would put a period at the end of the affair, and he'd likely not want to hear about it again (and you'll bring it up when the right buttons are pushed -- for years). You have a lot to think about, and I suggest you don't blur the issues right now with planning a renewal. I think it's best to keep him on probation for a while. If you come through the next few years with your trust intact, your fifth anniversary might be the right time for such an event.

I have to say that my situation was very similar to yours but with 7 years of marriage, our 5 year old in the picture and while being pregnant with our second child I found out my EX was having an affair AND had impregnated his affair partner same time as I. Our kids are exactly 6 months apart..... It was hard for me to go through as I sat there and contemplated giving him another chance but he was still up to his old ways and I had enough. I still had so much hurt and resentment towards him that doing a wedding vow renewal (as he suggested also) was out of the picture and I am SO glad I moved on. My suggestion to you is that until YOU truly can forgive him and trust him again then go right ahead otherwise it will be a joke to you all and the hurt will still linger...... Best of luck to you!