Cheating husband, Remarry him?

If you did this it would be called a vow renewal. After something like that, I think it is appropriate for you to want to renew your vows to remind yourself of the promises you want to keep during your marriage. It is important to make that declaration to move forward in a positive direction and so if you think you'd like to do that publicly then great. However, a proposal with a new ring is a little strange (why not just keep the ring you have?) and you probably wouldn't want it to really look like a wedding (bouquet tosses, bachelorette parties, etc). I would focus on it being a renewal of vows and then a celebration afterward.

Personally I would prefer to do something like that with a small group, maybe go out to dinner afterward at a nice restaurant with those people and not make a really big show out of it. I picture like a beach somewhere for that haha!

This sounds like it would be a good step. If you have gone or are going through counseling maybe you both can talk about it there and see if that might be helpful. I'm glad to hear that you have built your relationship up again, I'm not sure I could ever trust again but hopefully if you do this renewal he will really mean his vows this time.

Exactly what Happy in Hawaii said

One more vote for H in H's advice.

I ditto Happy in Hawaii with a little extra. Continue to work on trust & communications and stop discussing your problems with your immediate family. Sometimes family knowing your business can cause more problems than not. They can become unforgiven behind your backs. good luck & congrats to your vow renewal.

HiH nailed it.

Ditto HiH, but I'd wait a little bit - make him gain your trust some more. The affair wasn't that long ago. I'd wait until you truly trust him and then the vow renewal can be a sign of you moving on.

Plus some other family members might not trust him - and then they may not support this renewal just yet.

I know you didn't ask for advice on whether or not you should do it but I just wanted to say that I think any man who can cheat on his wife WHILE SHE IS PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD is pretty useless. I wish you the best in the future and hope you beat the odds.

ETF Typo

I agree with Erika. The fact that he was the one who suggested it bothers me a little. Like maybe he's pushing you to move on from the terrible thing he did (which you're obviously not ready to do yet). I think it's a good idea to do...on YOUR terms in a little while. I wouldn't use a vow renewal as a "step" for recovery. I would only do it after things are 100% back on track.

Then again, if it were me, I would even be having this conversation, or any, with him in the first place.

I agree with Sarahdell...while you were pregnant and a 3-month affair are pretty awful. As KM said, it's soon. Don't use the vow renewal as a bandaid. Best of luck.

I think you should start a savings jar for him to put all of his spare cash in. You know, for your vow renewal. Then when it's nice and full, take the money and RUN. Life's too short to waste on a "man" like him. I'm really goofy about cheating though, so I probably shouldn't even be replying.

Is it ever really possible to trust a cheater again? My son cheated at a game of Uno THREE years ago, and I still accuse him of hiding cards. People don't forget that you're a weasel!

But, if you're sure, and I mean SURE sure, go for it. Please know this, staying together "for the kids" is sometimes the worst thing you can do to your babies. I'd be signing divorce papers.

Good luck! I definitely wish you the best. You are the only one who can decide what's best for YOU.

I agree with Erica - it doesn't sound like you are fully there yet, and I think he needs to earn your trust back 100% before you go through the motions of a vow renewal. Your heart won't be truly in it until you trust him completely.

I would probably do a private vowel renewal as well. Maybe only FH and I even, go somewhere tropical and renew your vowels. I'd want to keep the cheating as private as possible and the reasons why you're doing this may become public if a few people know, causing more drama.

Also fuck yea FH would get me a new ring as a sign he fucked up- not a re proposal though. He also probably wouldn't ask, he'd just do it.

Which is why I also agree with others that this may just be his attempt to talk the talk and say what he thinks he should be saying to get out of the dog house.

This is a really sticky situation. Do what your heart tells you to do. Personally I would give H a 2nd chance although it'll take a lot longer than 7 months for me to "re-marry" him. It's really hard especially when there is a child involved. I'm sure keeping your family together is a priority. Good luck and I really really really hope that it works out for you. Like KM said, on YOUR terms not his!

ETA: Make him get you a NEW BIGGER RING!! Cause you fucking deserve it!!!

e=mc2 has a great point. Somewhere tropical just the two of you would be awesome!!

IMO, it is too soon. It can take years to get over infidelity, if ever. You said yourself that you have not healed from his affair, and I don't think a vow renewal will make anything better at this time. It will make HIM feel better, but that's about it.

Once you have healed, I think a vow renew would be an excellent idea.

*edited because I have no idea why I typed "vowel"*

*Vow

*Vow

*Vow

Wow. :-\

So it's been six months? I think it's totally possible to get over this kind of stuff within 6 months, but honestly, I would take at least a year to work through all of this. You can do what you want, but a vow renewal seems kinda strange as a symbolic way of moving forward.

I don't think it's right for any of us to judge your situation. It's easy to have opinions when we're not the ones in the situation. Only you know your husband & only you know what's best. It seems like you aren't sure what you want to do, so take your time & think about it. You don't have to rush into a decision of re-marrying or renewing your vows.

This is really not a question that you should be asking us...maybe a therapist or a support group. Also I second what Sarahdell said, drives me batshit to hear vowel renewal, it isn't like the letter a is expiring.

It's definitely possible to recover from something like this, but it takes alot of work and effort. I suggest counselling (if you haven't done that already). Vow renewal is a nice thing to do, but I wouldn't use that as a tool to "start over" because it's useless as a tool.

Only you can decide when you guys are back on track. It takes a long time and a lot of work - but I would do it on your terms not his.

Honestly, if I was in your position and wanted to do a vow renewal, I would do a private ceremony with just you guy - but that's just my opinion.

I don't have anything to add since the other girls said what I would have said. I just wanted to say that the fact that you are staying and trying to work it out, makes you a bigger person than I. I don't think I would ever look at FH again if he did that to me.