Change out of bridemaid's dress after dinner?

Have you sent her a picture? What has she said?

Haha @AlmostNieman you're not lying and I'm also brutally honest and appreciate brutal honesty in return. Like I said I could deal with just ugly, but see through and ugly is like adding insult to injury and just a bit much for me. I've suffered for fashion before but only to look good, not to look awful and shows my tits to the world! Pardon my language. As far as sending pictures to her, I haven't. I'll see her on Tuesday and I don't want to text her now and have her panic. Talking to her in person I think will be easier so I can calm her down about it and show her that I plan to handle it in a calm manner. I'm not quite sure how that will happen yet but I will. I also think it's a good idea for her to see it in person because as much as the photos give an idea of how see through it is, it really is worse in person. I think allowing her to see me work with it and get an idea of how much the fabric slips and slides around will give her a better idea about my challenges and may help us both figure out a real solution. I think no matter what I will change and am hoping she understands.

@Wendyc as far as a wrap I'm thinking it wouldn't really work. For starters it will be about 100+ degrees that day here in the desert, in the evening it will be about 90. The wedding is outside so it's not going to be very cold (which is a bonus for my nipples). Plus my main concern is about flashing people while dancing. So I think a wrap or pashmina would just be weird.

I'm really hoping to come up with a solution that I don't have to fuss with. I hadn't mentioned it before but my husband is the BM so both of us will be very busy and I would like for us to be able to focus on the B & G and having a good time, as opposed to fussing with my dress all night.

I feel so bad for you. That dress is terrible and you are a really good friend for even wearing it. With nothing helpful to contribute, I'm just watching this thread unfold like...

Thats nice idea, you can change it with sexy dress, i mean with short skirt.

not long dress, maybe you found some idea on dessy, amazon or wallao

Normally I would say you should stay in the dress if possible. Even in my candid shots later in the night I like that my BMs are distinct and so I think it's nice for the BP to stay in their outfits unless there is a good reason not to. That being said I think you have a good reason not to here. When I was a BM for my sister at 12 I changed as soon as I got to the reception (even before the toasts, receiving line, etc) because she really didn't give me a choice. She bought the dress for me without be being there, I was a chubby kid and it was 2 sizes too small (her response when I told her that? lose weight.) It was also a mermaid dress so the size being wrong was a real issue (not to mention who buys a mermaid dress for a self conscious 12 year old (well, a bitch that's who)? I had to buy a girdle just to get it to zip (again, at age 12!), could barely walk, and certainly couldn't sit (it would have ripped if I'd somehow managed to bend). So I got a fun flowered dress to wear at the reception trying to fit into her hawaiian luau theme. I would gladly have worn any decent correctly sized dress all night. When there's issues that big, you do what you have to do.

(Looking back, if I was who I am now and not a 12 year old kid, I would have told her to shove that dress and her Bridezilla attitude up her ass.)

Have you thought about tying it one shoulder? Kind of like Greek goddess style?? That should give you some more coverage and make it not plunging.

If not, I think the way you show it in the comment that says "here's what I'm thinking is the best way to wrap it"..looks the best!!!

I think in all the pics ou don't look naked and I think your bod is rockin!!

MOH, boob size makes a HUGE (no pun intended) difference and your friend probably didn't realize what it would look like on you. Send her some pics before the final fitting and take that puppy with you! The seamstress may have a few ideas about ways to wrap or pin it, or sew in some cups or even lining fabric to help the nips. For ceremony and pictures' sake, side boob is probably better than cleavage, the big boob struggle is real!! Also, you are a terrific friend!

Would something like this work? I know there are ways to wrap that thing with an x-back, which might feel more secure than halter. If its the same color as the dress, it will look just like the bandeau underneath. http://m.belk.com/AST/Main/Belk_Primary/PRD~21005922253/ASSETS+Red+Hot+Label+BY+SPANX+Sleek+Slimmer+Strapless+Slip+++2253.jsp?navPath=Women/Shop/Intimates/Shapewear/Control_Slips&cm_mmc=Search%20-%20Google-_-PLA%20Basic%20Campaign-_-PLA%20Primary%20AdGroup-_-AutoTargets&kpid=0438508514666&gclid=CjwKEAjw1Iq6BRDY_tK-9OjdmBESJABlzoY7kDB5IRr2fJ7UVwy_GM681mTV4Jmg8iMwfW88eSZbFxoC4XHw_wcB

Ooh, this may work, since you shop by bra size. And the convertible straps could be halter or cross back. http://www.spanx.com/bodysuits/boostie-yay-bodysuit-38-1908#1689=9619

I think the way you have it tied in the 3rd and 4th picture from the first series of photos looks the most flattering.

I wouldn't feel upset at all if you changed; I told my BMs that after toasts, they are welcome to change if they want...I'm more concerned with the Groomsmen as they will be in long sleeves; in July. The dress is problematic - material, construction, color... I wouldn't wear the puffy nipple thingees, seems to draw attention. One of my BMs suggested that dress; I said Nope... because I didn't want to have to deal with all the tieing etc... with a room full of inexperienced dress tie-ers. Hope you find a solution that works for both of you...I think once the bride sees the pics, she'll understand your concerns.

@MOH23 girl can I just say that I am a fellow big busted girl 38 G over here lol and compliments to you for having big boobs that sit up !! Haha there's no way, and idc if I were the moh, that I would buy a dress that I could not wear a bra in. It just will not work for me. Big boobs bounce more and they hurt when they bounce. Big bouncy boobs, nipples showing, possible boob slip? Yeah no thanks. There are two reasons that I think are valid for a member of the bridal party to decline a dress one is budget and the other is you don't like how much skin is showing.

Advice wise... See if you can return the dress. No way should you have to wear a dress that makes you feel exposed. See if you can find something off the rack.

Also if you're going to take the bullet for your friend and wear the dress then you only need to do it for the ceremony and photos. There's no reason why you can't change BEFORE speeches. That's ridiculous.

From what you've said of the bride, she's willing to work with you. If you were my MOH, I'd help pick out a different dress so you're comfy. My MOH is in a short, completely different dress than my BMs (who are in different long dresses).

Haha you guys are cracking me up! @Amy thanks and so funny!

@Alexandra you are right It hurts not to wear a bra and is not comfortable. Something I didn't really mention is that I'm not wanting to go braless for that long because it really does hurt my back a lot to walk around with no support for so long. I have gone braless before but it's usually because I'm wearing something backless or strapless with material that provides enough coverage and support that nip slips are not a concern. I also never go braless for a 12 hour day because after about hour 2 my back really starts to hurt and I need relief!

@Lindsey thanks for the suggestions but both of those have a back that is too high for the dress and the cups will show in the middle so anything I wear needs to be plunge style.

@MrsBBR and @Ashley thanks for the compliments! @Ashley we haven't tried one shoulder but I will

So last night my husband and I tried to come up some solutions involving medical tape, nipple covers (only so my poor nipples don't have to suffer through be taped) and ruching and I think we might be close to something. I will post pics when we perfect it. But the biggest problem with the nipple covers alone was the protrusion and puffiness, which the tape helped combat. The ruching and bunching up the fabric seemed to help cover a bit of our handiwork but unfortunately had some side boob issues still. There is only so much fabric to go around and we are trying to use it wisely.

I'm not gonna lie no matter how we slice it this is one ugly dress and is so unflattering. The fact that I am not a tall woman is certainly doing me no favors and this dress swallows me up. I look like I'm wearing curtains, but that is the least of my worries now.

My husband thinks at this point we should just figure it out and I should change as soon as I give my speech without another mention of it. I'm thinking he might be right. He doesn't think I need permission to change once the reception is in full swing and thinks I've really done enough seeing as how I only had 4 months to prepare to be MOH to begin with (they were engaged for 2 years so this is not a last minute wedding). He's not wrong and I will have fulfilled my duties, plus some, once this is all over.

So I looked at their website to check out the different options and these are all the ways to wrap it.

http://twobirdsbridesmaid.com/how-to-tie/

The full coverage and cap sleeve might allow me to wear a bra but honestly they always make the wrapping look easy and effortless and it's not. We tried a lot of these and it doesn't stay like it does in the photos and they clearly pin etc. to get the best photo. Plus this model is at least 5'9 so that makes a world of difference. Those are also the two most unflattering ways for me to wrap it but what does it matter at this point? It's hideous no matter what, being a level 10 hideous is not different than a level 5 to me, hideous is hideous.

Yikes...whoever decided to order this dress did not keep your boobs in mind! One of my bridesmaids also has an F cup, and I fully kept that in mind when we picked the dress. Thankfully, she is wearing a corset, so she has good support. Definitely talk to the bride and see what you can come up with! Good luck to you!

@Reggie LOL! I hear ya and luckily I'm not dealing with a bridezilla friend or attitude. I pick my friends wisely, unfortunately you can't pick your family.

Have you tried using the inserts from inside a bathing suit or a sports bra? I know it sounds weird but that's what I use when I can't wear a bra with a dress and because it covers the whole breast you can't see it and it doesn't look funny.

Could you do something like this and wear a bra underneath:

https://tutorials.henkaa.com/sakura/sleeve/victoria

ETA: just realised that is more or less what you mentioned above I have a convertible dress and I know I had a wrap style where there was more coverage and it was relatively easy, but then again, I don't have your boobs

@MOH23 Well in a way because she and I no longer speak, lol! She wasn't even on the guest list for my wedding. I honestly think she did the dress thing on purpose. I was at a really awkward phase (I was 12, so no surprise) and she forced me into a contender for worst BM dress ever. Her MOH looked great on the other hand.

My FSIL is a serious tomboy and is standing up in our wedding, my compromise to her is that she's allowed to change out of the dress after all the important bits. personally, I don't care and I want her to be happy and comfortable. side note: have you looked into the "chicken cutlet" adhesive bras (the ones that cover more than just the nip)? some brands are great even for larger chested women so it's really about what lengths you're willing to go to. but if your friend (the bride) is laid back and would be understanding, the worst thing you could do would be to bring it up? or ask if you can at least change for the after party (typically people change for those anyways - or so I always have)