Ceremony only

Steph, I completely support your decision to be united before God. FS and I are planning a Catholic wedding at our parish, with a luncheon afterward. I also think cake and punch in the church hall is perfectly adequate.

I would avoid leaving close family off the guest list unless they absolutely refuse to behave themselves. A marriage is not only an event in the couple's life, it's the recognition by the body of Christ that the two will function as a unit in the community. Besides that, they're your family, and in my experience it's best to avoid drama on that front.

Just to respond to Meghan's comment: my mother would have raised hell if I'd married someone I hadn't lived with first (my father wouldn't have been happy either, but he's generally quieter about it). That may really be the primary objection of family members; I wouldn't assume there's something else that's the "real" problem. (My mother actually asked me to promise never to marry someone I hadn't lived with first when I was 12. I kept my word, although we only lived together for about six months before the wedding.)

You might still talk to them about it. When it comes down to either being present at your marriage or not, MOST family members will want the former--or regret the latter, at least. I would encourage you to try to approach them about it at least once more, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with any negativity from them. It just means giving them one last chance not to miss your marriage, which I think they probably will regret later if they do.

I know a couple did something I wish I could get away with. They went to regular church service on Sunday morning. But, just before the benediction, they went up to the front, the pastor married them on the spot, and then had the benediction. Of course, they had planned it with the minister but how simple is that. I almost wish I could do something like that but my family would hate that I deprived them the change to be there when I got married.

I agree it's you and your husband to be wedding. You should do what makes you happy.