Ceremony only

If you feel that no one will agree with the marriage and the only thing that is imporatnt is sharing it with FS then go for it. I see nothing wrong with just having the ceremony. I would not like a reception if everyone there disagreed. Save your money and put it towards your life together.

If you are inviting people to the ceremony, you really need to feed them, even if it is only punch and cake in the church's social hall. However, you certainly don't need to invite the family that is being unsupportive. And if you have a church wedding with only the minimum number of witnesses legally required, then you only need to feed those witnesses.

I think that when it comes down to it, the only ones that NEED to be there are you, him and God. I think it's a great idea especially if you don't want to deal with drama. Saving money is a plus too =)

I don't see anything wrong with just a ceremony. I'm sure you'll be clear about it on the invite, so if people don't like it the don't have to go. What will you do if your families change their minds about your marriage?

Well that would work 2d bride but everyone doesnt agree, they think we are to young, and that we need to have lived together... but they dont understand that we are religious and don't agree in moving together before holy matrimony. we are 21 and 24

I think that i going to have a wedding and the people who will be there truly love us im still having favors and stuff like that a wedding minus a reception. I am renting a private room in a nice restaurant for my special guest like parents and such..

I agree with 2d Bride. And Lisa too.

You don't have to spend 20000 per se, you can have the ceremony and do a small get together either at your house or the church cafeteria, just serve some finger food and refreshments, nothing too fancy, depending on your # of guests you should be able to spend no more than about $200 or less. Again, there's nothing wrong with just ceremony if that's what you really want, gud luck

We're having our ceremony in the meeting room of a restaurant. It's free, and we're buying all our guests lunch- but it's really only going to be family and close friends.

We'll do our honeymoon, then have a huge party at our home a couple weeks later.

I'd look at the real reasons people are objecting to the wedding. If it's just that you are to young, maybe it's not the age. Maybe they think you aren't ready emotionally. I don't know anyone who would object because you haven't lived together. I'd get the real reasons they don't support you. I also suggest premarital counseling, but I think everyone should do that- not just you. But maybe that would alleviate some of your families' fears if they know you are going into it with your eyes wide open.

Well I see what you mean Meghan but if they knew us they would understand why we are getting married Eric and have such a immense love that it is not measurable... our parent see it, all of our friends see it, because we are around them all the time, they get it!

I commend you on doing the right thing morally. Yes you are young but if your foundation is built on Christ then you will be alright. Keep The Lord first and the rest will fall into place.

If someone wouldn't agree with your wedding, just don't invite them. The last thing you want is during your ceremony people to be taking bets on a divorce. Make it as small as you need to so that you will only have people there who love and support you. Then you can just do dinner at a restaurant, it sounds like your wedding will be small, you could probably swing it for pretty inexpensive, especially if you do simple plate options and just two choices of the house dessert instead of a cake (or do cupcakes).

I don't get it. Sounds to me like there's a massive piece missing in this story.

People aren't supportive because of your ages? You're 21 and 24. Okay, I'm 24 and DS is 27. No one has had isht to say and we're just a short three years ahead of you guys (thinking in pairs). So that makes no sense.

They don't support you because you REFUSE to live together beforehand for religious reasons? Okay now I'm not a religious person at all but...what?! "Hey, you're making the more socially accepted moral decision because you have faith in Christ! Shame on you!" Um...I'm pretty sure any Christian would call that some back assward logic.

I mean, neither of those reasons make even a little sense, and that's coming from someone who, in general, lives in the morally gray. I'd say call them on their nonsense and find out why they REALLY don't support you. Either way though, if they're gonna be negative, don't invite them. But you should offer some small refreshment for those you do invite. =0)

Stephanie. If you have guests who are supportive and want to celebrate I would suggest at least lunch, dinner at a local diner, or place that you can have a small cake and at least share toasts. The family who don't support the marriage don't have to come but the ones who do shouldn't be forgotten who want to enjoy this time with you. Nothing formal but a sort of thank you for coming and being supportive type of meal.

Would be great idea. 21 and 24? thats pretty common ages maybe slightly young but still pretty mature to decide. Divorce rate is high for 25 age and under but marriage at any age is what you make it. I will be 25 in 7 weeks and FH will be 24 so I don't think your age sounds to young lol

This could be a very good, humble and gracious choice; or a selfish and ill-advised choice, or something in between, depending on some additional details. A lot depends on what you *mean* by "a beautiful church wedding with God".

I'm assuming that as religious people you attend Sunday worship regularly. In my experience most churches have tea and coffee and a few plates of cookies sitting out in the foyer as people file out of the worship area, and everyone stands around mingling for a few minutes before they leave. My dear, that *IS* a reception -- that big $20,000 party the wedding industry keeps telling you you MUST have is a "Dinner and Dance" that in recent years as taken the *place* of the old-fashioned reception. Here's an example of how you can have that kind of reception very easily:

A few weeks ago friends of mine who are regular church-goers were married on Sunday at the end of the regular church service. The minister just finished up the usual sermon and prayers, and then asked the couple to come to the front of the church and married them. They then left behind the minister and stood with him shaking hands while everyone left the worship area, and then participated in the usual mingling. They provided a special cake instead of the usual plates of cookies.

Christians usually make a point of practicing "Christian hospitality". Coffee and cookies for people who came out to see you get married seems like a nice gesture of Christian hospitality -- and that's really all that 2dbride is talking about.

In my friends' case, they didn't send out invitations so there were no extra people present and the usual hospitality committee or whatever the church calls it took care of making the coffee.

Which brings us to: are you planning to send out invitations? Are you planning on a big gown and veil and bridesmaids in matching dresses? Bouqets? and what are you doing for favours (which are a totally unnecessary part of a wedding)? If your priorities are in order, then you will be spending more on providing for your guests than on outward display like these things.

How many people are you planning to invite, beyond just those friends and family who support you? Are you having the service separate from ordinary worship? What day and time? The hospitality you offer to your guests should outweigh any inconvenience they undergo in attending your wedding.

I beg to differ, if you invite people to our "ceremony only" wedding, I think people will understand that you are not feeding them at a reception. While it would be nice to invite them for cookies, coffee, juice afterwards in he church hall, you don't have to.

....I might be missing something here, but if you are going to have a church ceremony, then give out favors and have cake, and then go to a restaurant afterwards for dinner with guests.....to me that's a wedding? No one states that a reception has to include a venue, and dancing, etc. I don't think you have anything to worry about on "how" you are getting married. It sounds actually relatively traditional. Just becuase you aren't spending 20K doesn't mean it's not a "wedding" or a 'reception". Your other alternative is to have a potluck, maybe or find other ways to keep the costs down. There are lots of brides here that are successfully doing this on a small budget! Good luck.

We did the ceremony in a historic outdoor church followed by a punch and cake reception (the cake was the most expensive part but you could get someone you know to make that, we ordered plates napkins and cups from oriental traders super cheap, my friend and mother in law made two different types of punches so it cost us very little other than the cake) and then we had an after party at our house with close friends which we got some things from sam's as appetizers and friends made some other things, bought a bunch of canned drinks and that was it, much cheaper way to go and plenty of food and cake for everyone...we ended up with lots leftover too and it didn't cost us that much.