Cash Bar?

I agree with Shannon!!

I would never feel comfortable having a dry or cash bar wedding. I think that as the host you should cater to your guests. Maybe only have beer and wine, or certain time frame for an open bar??

I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar. My parents went to one and were offended. I wouldnt be offended but I probably wouldnt go, or would go and leave right after dinner.

I knew that I could afford most venues open bar costs, so I found a venue that will let me bring in my own alcohol and then they provide the bar tenders and security. They are liable if something happens, not me.

Its so funny I just said this on another post. Where I am from (boston) 99% of weddings are cash bar some will do an open bar for cocktail hour but other wise its cash bar all the way. We are having a cash bar. 1 because I wasnt about to spend that kind of money for people to get trashed at my wedding and 2 becuase my dad has his own little issues with the drinks and I have already told the DJ hes not allowed to touch a microphone the last thing I want is for him to know its open bar

Lindsey T,-- Maybe we are sisters?! LOL

I think that it's funny that so many people are afraid of people getting trashed at their wedding. I for one am looking forward to it, we got a photo booth and one of the reasons is we want to see what kind of pictures that we can end up getting when people are trashed.

We are also doing an after party at a local restaurant (connected to the hotel where most people are staying, within walking distance of the reception site) and we aren't buying the drinks there.

We had a cash bar for hard liquor and beer.

But soda, water, tea, iced tea, coffee, and I think punch or lemonade was free.

Plus champagne and cider.

I didn't like the idea of a cash bar, but I felt that since we had so many other options - that I didn't mind it as much. I still felt bad, but we have a lot of alcoholics in our family and they would have gotten wasted and driven home, they've done it before.

However, I think most of our guests understood, and I didn't hear anyone complaining about it. Except for one groomsmen, but he expected my Father and I to pay for everything for him... SMDH!

I think it really depends on area..like many others I've seen on facebook people I know from school (midwest) that were like super surprised there was an open bar at a wedding..although back home open bars are pretty common , but i have been to several that had cash, or at least open bar at cocktail..personally anything I can do to help guests feel comfortable and taken care of I will, that includes an open bar..I agree cash bars are a bit off putting but better than none at all..I think as long as it's not obvious you splurged on ornate decorations or designer dress and have a cash bar it's okay..In the end it comes down to your budget, if you can afford it but just don't feel like spending the cash, thats bad..but if you are truly struggling there is no reason why you should go into debt so people can get a buzz. For my venue open bar, middle tier is only a total of 12.99 for 4 hours per person which I think is awesome, very doable for us..other areas may be astronomically priced.

We are doing a cash bar because the alcohol packages are ridiculous in my opinion..we will set a limit but after that then the guests are on their own

I think cash bar is awful, but who cares "i know i dont." Me and Fh is only having open bar for an hour, for those who have money issues. they better enjoy while it last. lol i can just see ppl drinking drinks really fast just to get more then one drink.. after that hour is up cash bar kicks in!!

A cash bar is not tacky. You do what you can afford. I am doing beer and wine during the cocktail hour and then 1 hour during reception. If people have the option to drink alcohol they will not eat and waste the thousands of dollars you spent to feed them. Ultimately, sweetie do you can afford and people will understand. However, you should let them know so they will bring cash. Good luck!

I don't think it is tacky at all. We are having a cash bar, which our guests already know about and have no problem with it. We will be offering punch, coffee, tea, lemonade, and soda for free. Like a lot of the ladies here have said, I think every wedding I have been to has had a cash bar, can't think of one that has been open.

I prefer a cash bar to a restricted open bar (just wine and beer usually). I would rather buy a long beach or amaretto sour than having free wine or beer.

Edit: I forgot to add that I can't stand when there is no bar so you can't even order a soda!!! At my SIL's wedding you only got water with dinner and coffee with dessert nothing else. She did have some punch, but barely anyone got any of it because there wasn't enough for all of the guests.

I think it depends on your family and your circle of friends. In my group a cash bar is normal. We are also doing a cash bar due to the cost because we are paying for everything ourselves.

We are going to be doing open beer and wine and then cash bar for liquor. We thought about doing open bar for everything, but then we went through out list and realized not that many of our friends and family really drink to much liquor.

If it's an issue of cash bar or no bar, i'd say do the cash bar. we're going to provide a champagne toast at our reception, and we're wondering if we want a cash bar too, because there won't be an open bar. i don't think it's tacky as long as guests are "warned" before their arrival (on the reception invitation or online)

I think most people understand that budgets are limited. I do not see the problem with a cash bar. Also, personally I always bring cash to events, in case of emergencies, tipping, parking, taxis, or other expenses that can pop up.

Everyone already knows my thoughts on this one. In my culture and region, having a cash bar is considered extremely tacky. Heather M and Shannon said it best. Imho, cut the budget elsewhere, don't cut the budget when it comes to being a good host/hostess, at the expense of the guest. At the very least, serve beer and wine.

As I have said before, if you were to come to my house at this very moment, you would be offered a drink that would include the staples: Beer, Wine, Vodka, Captain Morgan, Tangueray, Jack Daniels and the hubbie's single malt, Glenfiddich. For the record, I only drink beer.

With regard to drunks, with any luck, I plan on being one of them. My guests are adults who can take care of themselves.

I agree with other posters that a cash bar is definitely better than no bar. Is there any way that you could have a limited menu of drinks that you pay for (say wine and beer) and if a guest wants a cocktail then that could be something they pay for? Or if you just offered wine and beer, they might be able to give you a lower price since you're not offering hard liquor. The only thing I might say is that if you are having a cash bar, you might want to spread it around somehow - have your wedding party let people know, have it on your wedding website, etc. I don't often have a lot of cash on me at weddings... I don't know how many other people are like that.

I provided punch/coffee/tea/water to my guests and had a cash bar. In my area, open bars are NOT the norm, so it was expected by my guests that I would have a cash bar. I would have loved to have been able to afford to have an open bar, but it was just not financially feasible for my parents, who paid for our reception (we didn't have any money to spend on that option either). We have a lot of BIG drinkers in our families (and some alcoholics), and if we had opened it up, they would've drank my parents (and us if we had decided to foot the bill for it) into the poor house, no exaggerating at all. We decided the cash bar was better than no bar at all, and we DID provide non-alcoholic options (for free), which a lot of weddings I've been to didn't even do (not even freaking water!). Obviously a host bar is ideal, but sometimes it isn't possible, and sometimes (based on region) it isn't the norm.

Wow! I also saw that article about cash bar being tacky, and I was shocked. I was just discussing this with my FH, and we've been to 2 weddings total where there was open bar all night. I am also from Massachusetts, so I guess its regional. The weddings that did have open bar had well-to-do parents who paid for it. We, unfortunately, do not. I expect to pay for my drinks when I go to a wedding, so I come prepared. If there is open bar, I'm pleasantly surprised! If you haven't guessed, we will not be having open bar the whole night, but a cash limit. We are guessing people will be pleased that drinks are on us for the first couple of hours...glad I'm not inviting any southern peeps! Wouldn't want my guest to be joining me on the happiest day of my life and think that its "tacky."

Traditionally, the issue with cash bars was that the couple should either pay for things, or omit them. Having a cash bar was seen as kind of like saying you would pay for chicken for all your guests, but that if they wanted lobster, they would pay the extra. It would not be an etiquette violation to provide only chicken, or to provide (and pay for) lobster. Similarly, it would not be an etiquette violation to have a dry wedding, or to provide (and pay for) an open bar, or a more limited selection of alcohol. However, if you make things available at your party (lobster or liquor) but expect your guests to pay for them, that is considered an etiquette violation.

I do wonder, though, whether the etiquette is changing. See this survey which suggests that people would rather have a cash bar than a dry wedding.

(cont.)