Cash Bar vs. Open Bar

Haha, thanks Audra. Polka dots were sooo last week.

I know right I'm glad I'm a zebra bride!

Agreed Aimee!

We have a few guests who roll around on the dance floor sober. : )

Agreed with Carole. All I react to is the judginess.

Judith I don't think anybody would call out your statement as anything but an honest answer about norms where you live. Nothing rude or tacky about any part of that.

That's very different from making comments about people's behavior and using that as a reason to justify having a cash bar. IMO, guests should not "foot the bill" for any part of the evening. Hell I was dying thinking about how some of them might have to take taxis home at the end of the night. But that's the norm around here.

I do think it's interesting that people take it back to budget. Presumably you're going to spend money on lots of things throughout the day and you prioritize the things you want. Seems like sometimes people put booze low on the priority list b/c let's face it, it's easier to get guests to pay for that than it is to get them to chip in for dinner. IMO, if you really want something, you find a way to make it happen, on any budget.

Hahahahahahahaha.

I guess I shouldn't judge those people, I dance at my desk at work.

....but again, that's just my philosophy about hosting based on the way I grew up. It's not about money. It's just a philosophy.

So Shawna did you get the info you were looking for? lol. She's like....whoa I'm staying out of that! lol.

Well in defense of those with small budgets- I can make having tablecloths work because that is less the $200, same with paper lanterns to decorate the aisle ($40), etc. Where as making an open bar work would cost in the thousands, at least.

I made a "want" list for my wedding and categorized it two ways, first by what i wanted the most, and second by cheapest to most expensive. When it gets a little closer to wedding time we will look and see what money we have, and start getting things from the "want" list accordingly. There is no way an open bar would work in our budget, so why not do the best we can with a limited bar, then use what we have left for other things we want.

Aimee....I dance all the time. lolol Thank goodness I work at home, otherwise, I do believe some tags would be wagging about me.

Kris...I agree. It is a philosophy. For me, it is based on our culture. Italians over feed you and insist you drink. Thank goodness "Dago Red" is taken out of the equation. For all those Italians out there, I am not making fun of my own culture, it is what we call homemade wine. It kicks your behind. BTW...I had DH laughing his butt off with your sausage story. I guess old men think alike. He said every table should have an anti-pasta.

Shellie...You don't ever have to defend a small budget.

The thing I love about WW is that we are rich with diversity. I have enjoyed reading of everyone's regional/cultural and religious differences regarding weddings.

Only two venues we looked at here offered a liquor "package" and we looked at least twenty. It's truly not the norm here to have a full hosted bar. People are surprised when I tell them we are having unlimited beer, wine and champagne.

P.S. YOU ARE ALL TACKY!!!!

First I would like to thank everyone for there responses. I never thought that this would have been such a touchy subject. At the end of the day everyone bride on here will do what they think is best for themselves and their guest.

Whatever you decide on cash or open bar, make sure you have the time of ur life.

Agreed Shellie, don't ever feel you have to defend a small budget. I really don't think what I mean has much to do with budget at all.

I think sometimes in these threads I forget how other people define "open bar" - our bar is open but not a full one. We're serving certain things we want to serve. I've been to very small budget weddings that had homemade sangria, or a bloody mary bar, and I thought those weddings were perfect. The homemade sangria was probably a similar cost to your tablecloths. They just didn't have extra stuff out for purchase.

I guess I take "open bar" to mean guests aren't paying for stuff. Not that people should feel obligated to provide everything and anything their guests might want. Maybe that's part of a general misunderstanding that makes these threads turn itchy around page 3.

Lol FMC so rude!!!!! lol.

LMBO @ FMC!

Shawna...Thank you. Yes, this topic gets hotly debated. The bottom line is everyone is going to have a beautiful day whether they are serving sweet tea or my "Dago Red".

Kris...Good point! I don't even care if I have to pay for a cash bar as long as I know I need cash. DH always has to smuggle in a flask no matter what wedding we attend. He only drinks expensive single malt scotch and most premium bars don't carry a single malt. We are not even ordering it for him for Cate's wedding. At $84 with triple up charge, he can put his bottle in my "Mother of the Bride" bag. And yes, that is tacky, but poor DH drinks nothing else. He is a major PITA.

Carole my FH is the same way. He's BMOC - Bring My Own Cognac wherever he goes.

When we first started dating he brought me to this engagement party and his friend was introducing us to her mom. She was like, "Mom, you remember Ralph, from that ski trip?" She was like, "Nooooo...." "Mom, you remember, last year, we all took that day trip to the hills?"....."Nooooo...."......"Mom he's the guy who brought his own cognac to dinner." "Oh yes! You're that nice young man who brought the Courvoisier to Vail. Of course! How are you honey?" lol.

I agree - just let them know beer and wine are unlimited. This is all we are doing as well.

Audra, we're all on a budget, some tighter than others.

My point is that you should do what you can afford, but do not blame it on your guests. If you can do a BBQ for 10, go for it. If you want and can throw a lavish party for 500, good for you. If the cash bar is a norm in your area, that's fine too. But don't say you're paying for food - like you're doing a favor to your guests - and then judge them as alcoholics because they may have a beer on your dime. That's all. So if you can't afford to host a lavish party to 200, do not do it. But don't blame it on the guests.

FMC, from you, I take that as a compliment

Can we just skip the cash bar vs open bar thread for the zillionth time, and go straight to ya'll doing whatever the hell you want and telling yourself it's a great idea? You can even pat yourself on the back if you want!

My wedding package included an premium open bar