Can't please everyone...UGH!

How about May 27, 2017? It's a Saturday and gives you a year to be together without bars between you. If it is really meant to be, then why rush it?

I was wondering the same thing as Janeen, what about the license? Getting out of prison and getting married seems like A LOT to handle in one day. Why doesn't he just stay in a hotel or at a friends house until the next weekend? It will be just as special, if not more special. The day will be all about your wedding, not shared with him getting out of prison. If it were me I'd want to leave that day behind. Not memorialize it forever. Please think deeply about this.

The gals on here are asking very important questions that you need to ask yourself. We all love who we love and marry who we marry, I really don't think that is the issue (or it is but that isn't the point of this post and we all know that nothing we say is going to make a difference anyways). They are inquiring about logistics, exactly HOW a wedding would happen. Is he getting out at 8am no matter what and you have all day? Is he within a list of 20 getting out and you just wait till it happens? Do you have a venue picked out? Will he have something nice to wear?

I have to ask what Heidi asked, won't it be difficult to have it on the day he is released? Things go wrong all the time, paperwork, hold ups etc. It would be awfully disappointing if you planned it on your special date only to have it all go down the tube.

I would suggest finding a nearby date, giving him more time to get settled back home and to allow your family and VIP guests to come.

What if there is a prison riot and his date gets pushed back. Legit worries here.

I'm going to echo some of the PPs, but being released from prison and getting married seems a lot for one day. Getting married sure is a lot in and of itself and I'm sure your FH will feel in a whirlwind. I get that you want to be together as soon as you can, but just like you make the date special, you define the relationship, not the label. Best of luck to you both.

Heidi, that is his Max Date. He will be released sometime between 8am and noon that day. The marriage license waiting period will be waived through a course we're taking.

While we are getting married too, we're mostly celebrating his coming home. Nothing fancy. Nothing formal. We are uniting as one and sharing that special day with our friends and family. Not only did he impact MY life in the 4 months he was home but he also impacted those who met him during that time. These are people who have written him letters, sent him cards, prayed for him, and supported us during this time.

I understand the questioning and any reservations ya'll have. I've prayed for months and months (23 to be exact) and have not taken it all lightly. I know it sounds crazy but I promise you, it's something I'm 110% sure of.

You don't think you want your first day together in so long to be just the two of you? I would want all the time in the world for it just to be me and him. I wouldn't want a bunch of people around, no matter how special and supportive they are. Is that what he wants? I'm sure getting out of prison will be emotional. Does he want to be surrounded by people?

^^^^^

Based on your profile you live in Texas. I just looked it up and there is a mandatory 3 day waiting period to get married after you get your license. So even if you go and apply for your license, and both of you will need to be present to apply for it, you wont be able to get married the day he is released.

@Meet The Wolffs yes, you are correct but that can be waived with a premarital counseling course which we've already completed.

Praying for months, and actually LIVING with someone (not even necessarily physically living with them, but having daily contact over a matter of years) is completely different. How do you know what he is actually going to be like day to day? How he's going to treat you in person after the "honeymoon period" of meeting and falling in love is going to be?

This has nothing to do with him being in prison, its just the fact that you've barely spent any time together at all. I'd caution anyone against marrying someone after only being with them physically for 4 months.

It sounds to me like your mind is made up and you just want people to justify your decision...which is fine. I personally wouldn't dream of getting married without my mother and sister present. As others have stated, ANYTHING could go wrong to extend his stay, to delay him that day...why not give it some time? Is it that important that you marry him IMMEDIATELY after he's released? I mean...give the guy a minute to get settled. ...

How did you do premarital counseling if he's been in prison?

You want a fairy tale. Which is not going to happen. This is how I see it playing out.

He gets out at 12pm.

You go home so he can have a shower and change in to real clothes (not just the ones he comes home in).

Then you grab some lunch because, lets face it, he hasn't had a real meal for months.

So now its around 2:30pm and you head to the court house. There is a line. The process to get the license and then have it waved takes you 1 1/2 hrs because you have to wait to get the judge to sign it.

So it's 4pm, and you hit traffic on the way home.

Now it's 4:30pm and he's exhausted, you've barely had time to talk, and in walks in 10 people wanting to know how he is and whats prison like and blah blah blah.

Oh and now get married.

I just don't see how that can be special. It sounds exhausting and stressful.

Just leaving some advice on an experience I had with a just-released inmate earlier this year.

One of DH's oldest friends made some pretty dumb decisions and was sentenced to two years. The day after he got out- DH asked me to have dinner with he and his friend so that I could meet him. Do you know how uncomfortable that guy was during a dinner out? He constantly watched over his shoulder.. felt horribly anxious being in a public crowded place. Look.. i get it. You think he's a great guy. So is Dh's friend. Everyone makes mistakes, BUT consider the timing. You have no clue what he's seen while he's in there- and is going to need time to adjust.

^ good point Jenn.

What JennB said. You don't do 23 months and come back and rejoin society, get married and go on like nothing happened. Even sleeps and poops are different.

PREACH JennB. What could you possibly be hurting by putting this off another 6 months to allow him time to adjust and make sure you're all making a good, permanent, life-long decision??

YES Jenn B. wise words there.

How are you doing the ore marital counseling if you're not co-located? I mean I assume this isn't a supermax situation where you get to talk or see him once or twice a month, but it's not like you get to spend hours on the phone making sure you're able to discuss the issues that come up in pre marriage counseling. Waiting period or not, my point was more logistical, how are you actually getting the license in your hands if his doors open sometime between 8 and noon?

We all basically agree with Jenn B! I know I do. I worked in the prison system for three years, and my father was a Sergeant for sixteen. It changes you, and we weren't even inmates. It took less than three years for my outgoing personality to change. It took longer than that to get it back. We aren't here to judge just offer real advice from our own experience. The prison system is a brutal place