Can't please everyone...UGH!

It's YOUR day, so you get to make the decisions. If your family or anyone as an issue with the day, then they need to get over it. If they can not make it, then celebrate without them. Honestly, they have enough time to save up money to make it there.

Tell her you have already booked a venue and placed a down payment (even if you haven't) and that they will need to either make the effort to be there or else you will celebrate with them at a separate time.

You basically answered your own question "How do I make her understand I have no intentions of changing the date whether they can make it or not?"

You tell her so.

Are you close with your family? Do you want them there? This is your mom and your sister, and since you didn't mention any terrible family conflict, I assume your relationship with them is at least decent. If you actually want them there, then yes, it's important to discuss the date with your VIPs beforehand. If you truly don't care and are sticking with your date, then prepare to deal with some backlash and obviously hurt and disappointment that if they choose not to attend.

Personally I would change my date for my mother, but I know from your other post there are extenuating circumstances. But you said it yourself - you're not moving your date, so just tell her that. If you don't care if she comes either way, it won't matter.

Can't please everyone? Wow. Sorry, but lumping your mom and sister into that group seems a little harsh to me. It's your choice. Maybe someday you will regret being so selfish. I am not super close with my mom but I sure do want her there.

Best way to handle it, is to just talk to her outright. I moved my date 3 times for my mother but I am very close to my mother and she also has health things that need to be addressed before she can be healthy enough for our wedding. If you are set in stone then just be honest and explain that it is what it is.

My FFIL wanted my FH and I to change our date from a Thursday to a Friday because "you need to remember that this is about the family and them celebrating with you". No sir it's about me and my FH and the love we have for each other. Obviously we want our family to be there, but as long as he and I are there that's all that matters. Me and FH compromised and changed to the next day, Friday. Then we cut our guest list and told his dad we weren't doing a rehearsal, two things he was insistent that we do...not your circus not your monkey my friend.

I'll share more of my story...

FH is in prison and has been for 19 of the 23 months we've been together. He was out on parole when we met and 2 weeks after meeting, I knew he was the one. I have attended the same church as his Dad for 8 years. He had some issues, and returned to prison to finish his sentence. He comes home May 27th...which is why we've decided on that date. While we lived together before he went back, we've decide we must be married in order to live together again. Everyone around us supports our relationship.

I love my mom dearly and her and my sister are my best friends...however that's a story too. (It seems I've got lots to explain lol)

Due to medical issues, I do not drive. Haven't in almost 7 years. My mom and sister both own property on either side of me. We've always lived close together. In August, my sister and her family moved about 6 hours away. In September my mom followed suit. I decided to stay put and rely on my church family for transportation. I would move away but I can't not knowing if/when they might move back.

I could move my date to the 28th or the following weekend...but we have committed to being married the day he comes home. They all have known about it for 2 months (even longer really as we've been counting down the days since March of last year). Now, it becomes an issue.

I took the advice of you great gals and explained to her how I felt...her response?

"Whatever you think we will be there even if we r running a little late".

At this point, I'm so frustrated, I want to just forget about it all and do it with just me, FH, and our pastor.

I get what a few others have said about this being your mother here and not some random guest, but seriously...as your MOTHER why is bad traffic and a school day a valid excuse to not make it to her daughters wedding? That's absurd on her part. she needs to plan ahead, there's plenty of time.

I would just tell your mom that this is the date you've chosen. I also think your mom's excuse is pretty lame. Your mom has plenty of time to plan things out. My mom isn't around anymore but I know that if she was still with us, nothing would have stopped her from coming to the wedding.

You're marrying a convicted felon you dated for 4 months? What did he do??

I can see why your fam isn't moving mountains to be there... Sorry =(

Since you've been telling them for 2 months I think its unfair to bring it up at this point instead of sooner. School schedules are out before school even starts and you can plan around traffic. As for money, if you know you get paid once a month and you have expenses around that you budget.

@KD, I don't expect everyone to understand. Yes it was only 4 months but that is between me, him, and God. Everyone has a past. His criminal history has nothing to do with them not wanting to travel on a holiday or the kids missing 4 hours of school a week before they get out anyway.

Here is my thoughts on it... you have your VIP list. Your parents, siblings, grandparents, bridal party, and other special folks that you can't imagine not being there on your big day. You say, "Hey this is the day we are thinking of." If they say "oh can't make it" you then decide whether or not you should switch your date to accommodate them or stick to your date and lose out on them being a part of your wedding. Since you never even asked them if that date would work you can't really be upset when they say they have an issue with that date.

Now the fact the you want to get married the day he gets out of prison. A lot can change between now and then. The fact he is being released before a holiday weekend could slow down his release paperwork being processed. Personally, I would wait a week or so just to make sure that he gets released ON time. Weddings are crazy enough I can't imagine getting out of prison *** and immediately going and getting married the SAME day. It sounds romantic and all but unrealistic.

*** I can't imagine being in prison for that matter (Are you SURE this is a good idea?! Convicted felon + marrying someone you've only hung out with for four months = probably not the best life)

Wait.. you're getting married the same day he's released from prison? As Ashlei pointed out, there's a lot of room for things to go wrong...

Look, your wedding anniversary becomes sentimental because of the event that happens on it, not the other way around. I, personally, think it's silly to get attached to a certain date because you make the date special and....I would want my VIPs attending. In fact, our date was chosen BECAUSE of people I wanted to attend and to make things easier on them traveling to us.

Also.....I know this varies by state, but how will you get your marriage license if he is literally unavailable to apply for one?

I'm just wondering ... how can you come up with a timeline for that day? Granted, I don't know anything about prison ... but what if there is a holdup in paperwork that day, and he doesn't get out until late that night? Would you make the guests wait around all day for the wedding? Do you have your venue? Vendors? As was mentioned before, how are you going to get a license?

I don't expect everyone to understand. His past is not the problem...I assure you of that. 4 months of hanging out is a lot different than spending every waking moment of that time together.

I guess I'll just go back to lurking...