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OregonEmily
Master August 2014

Can my ex husband walk me down the aisle?

OregonEmily, on July 25, 2014 at 11:26 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 294

His name was Bernard. We were married for six and a half years and very much in love. We decided (mutually) to split because after his 3rd heart attack and his quadruple bypass, he could no longer satisfy me sexually. We tried introducing a surrogate sex partner into our relationship, but it made...

His name was Bernard. We were married for six and a half years and very much in love. We decided (mutually) to split because after his 3rd heart attack and his quadruple bypass, he could no longer satisfy me sexually. We tried introducing a surrogate sex partner into our relationship, but it made Bernard sad to watch me have sex with a strapping, young man. I did my best to maintain eye contact with my husband and even shout out his name, but the tears still rolled down his cheeks as he watched Chad and I make love.

Eventually, Bernard and I parted ways and he gave his blessing for me and the surrogate sex partner to get married. So my question is, would it be inappropriate for my ex husband to walk (or roll, since he's in a wheelchair) me down the aisle? I think it's almost poetic since my old lover is handing me off to my new one. Also, Bernard is like a father to me, since he's 40 years my senior.

What would you do?

Happy Friday ladies! Have fun!

294 Comments

  • MrsDean
    Master April 2015
    MrsDean ·
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    OMG! I'm was hoping this was a joke! The whole time I'm reading, I'm like "hell no!" Girl, I got my laugh for the day. Thanks!

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  • Chantel
    Master May 2014
    Chantel ·
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    Lol at tried.to.maintain eye contact. Lol ... Bernard musta been eating too many hot dogs.

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  • LJ411
    Master April 2015
    LJ411 ·
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    This is amazing - happy friday!

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  • FutureMrsHarleaux
    Devoted August 2014
    FutureMrsHarleaux ·
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    Thank you.. that laugh was needed....

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  • Mrs. Ames
    Devoted January 2015
    Mrs. Ames ·
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    I thought everything on the interwebs was real??

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  • OregonEmily
    Master August 2014
    OregonEmily ·
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    @Maritza- You're so sweet for suggesting I take Bernard to the honeymoon! The sex resort should have sex swings strong enough to support him. Once we manage to strap him into one of those, we can get gravity to do most of the work for us!

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  • Kate
    Master May 2012
    Kate ·
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    Joanna--if you read your history books, you'll find that Abe Lincoln himself said not to trust everything you read on the internet.

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  • OregonEmily
    Master August 2014
    OregonEmily ·
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    @Jenn- Did you know that Abe Lincoln wrote his own Wikipedia page?

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  • Emma
    Master October 2024
    Emma ·
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    Smiley smile


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  • K
    Expert October 2014
    Kris10 ·
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    Question: instead of pink camo, could he wear snow camo? I hear that's a lot "classier." Follow-up question: is your wedding in a park, that might change my answer.

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  • Kate
    Master May 2012
    Kate ·
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    OregonEmily--Hmm, really? I wonder who edits it, then? Smiley laugh

    Kris10--I personally prefer blaze orange camo, as that stands out a little more. This is the chance to make a statement, after all!

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  • K
    Expert October 2014
    Kris10 ·
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    I think this could work, but only if it were the ex-husband AND his new wife who walked you down the aisle, plus they had to carry their own chairs; bring their own food and pay a $50 cover to get in the door. And be wearing camo.

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  • OregonEmily
    Master August 2014
    OregonEmily ·
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    @Jenn- Abe edits it of course! Jeez, what silly questions... Smiley smile

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  • Mrs. Ames
    Devoted January 2015
    Mrs. Ames ·
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    @Jenn - I was told by my ice cream man that I shouldn't trust history books, only the internets tells the truth.

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  • *Mrs_D*
    Master October 2014
    *Mrs_D* ·
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    Kris10, that is a misconception. The classiest of all camo is the "mossy oak" camo. I think this picture speaks for itself.


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  • K
    Expert October 2014
    Kris10 ·
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    PS @Jenn: we're date twins!

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  • K
    Expert October 2014
    Kris10 ·
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    Oh, see I thought that was called "deer in headlights chic."

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  • Emma
    Master October 2024
    Emma ·
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    This is the dress you need to wear if you're thinking of getting married on July 4th or Memorial Day. You HAVE to get it! Can you just imagine being rolled down the aisle in this beauty??!


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  • Cricket Catering
    Cricket Catering ·
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    I think you should get married at the hospital chapel. This way Bernard is really close when he has his next heart attack.

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  • OregonEmily
    Master August 2014
    OregonEmily ·
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    @FutureMrsD-Mossy oak camo is some seriously shit. But we're having a casual wedding and I don't want to be overdressed. I think I'll go with hi viz orange and carry a bouquet of roses made from carefully rolled up reflector tape.

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