Can I get married a week before my cousin?

I think a week before is a little too close for comfort. My cousin, who got engaged a year after me and a year after I set my date, is getting married exactly 3 weeks after me. We will be back from our honeymoon but it kind of has taken some of the "spotlight" away from me. I don't mind too much, but some of our relatives that live in other states and countries have to choose which wedding to come for because most people can't just take off the whole month. Also, I'm worried with people (especially family) having 2 weddings in a row it will be very financially burdensome.

These are just some things to consider from a perspective of someone in your cousins shoes. I assume my cousin had time restrictions because I believe his fiancé is still in school which I can understand. If it's not that case for you, I would look into other fall months like October for the comfort of everyone involved.

I personally would never be able to attend to weekends in a row withh my work schedule so no, I wouldn't suggest that. And if I saved the date for her wedding first, I'd only be going to her wedding, not yours.

With what Celia said...not only will they be talking about having to bring the clam dip...they'll probably also be talking about how no one could have a good time because everyone had to work the wedding and then ended up with food poisoning. No thanks.

No, you shouldn't. She saved the date, you need to be respectful of that. Pick a date after hers.

How often does your sister travel to the states? I'm sure it's a very pricey trip for her so a week before is probably better than a month after.

If you're set on that date, get married next year. I was originally getting married in 2015 but because of uncontrollable factors we are now getting married in 2017. I hate that it's so far away but at least it's going to happen.

I'm glad you're agreeing to back off, she has obviously had her date for a while; fall happens every year, get married the following year. I also don't see how the beach and fall go together?

Also if you wait you'll have time to save money and won't have to go the 'pot luck' route which is just rude.

Can you have your wedding the week after hers instead of the week before? The season will still be nice, it will help your sister not have to fly twice, and your cousin probably won't mind you having it right after (although she might be on her honeymoon and not able to attend). If most of your family will not have to travel they probably won't mind the week after, either.

Thanks for all your input. I feel so much better now that the drama is over. I'm putting my wedding off until next year and helping my cousin with hers in the mean time.

Don't knock the potluck wedding! Etiquette is simply a code of behavoir that helps people to act graciously and thoughtfully. It varies from culture to culture and changes and evolves over time. What might seem tacky to one group of people is the norm for another. An example being asking that if guests feel like contributing to the couple, it be in the form of a dish to share or help setting up rather than an object. It's just how we poor folk party!

In others groups it's considered normal and polite to have an extravagant registry, or ask their best friends to spend hundreds on matching dresses they'll only wear once.

Don't knock how we rich folks party, then

No. There are 50 other weeks in the year to choose- go with one of those instead. Your family will appreciate it an probably be more help. People will also not help but compare the two.

Glad you decided to change the date to next year !

Also I just had to add - no potluck, dear God. - okay done.

Not knocking A&J, just having a bit of fun in trying to point out that there are different strokes for different folks. I love how rich people party, it supports an entire industry and provides thousands of jobs, plus it's fun. But it's totally beyond the reach of many people, and that's okay too.

I'm not knocking A&J, just having a bit of fun trying to point out that there are different strokes for different folks. I love how rich people party , it supports an entire industry and provides thousands of jobs, plus it's fun. But it's totally beyond the reach of many people and that's okay too.

My longtime friend got married the week before my cousin did. One was in Virginia Beach and one was in Columbia, SC.

I live in DC. Even if they had been in the same place, it was a giant pain in the ass. My husband was able to attend the first one with me, but not the second. It meant that we had to drive all the way back to DC and then I turned around and drove back south alone.

As a guest, it sucked, and this was for people who didn't even know each other. I'm not sure I'd do it again, even for family.

If you want to have a potluck, by all means have a fucking potluck.

Just get married at a different time and don't claim the two have anything to do with each other. It's apparently not your culture's "norm" either since your cousin isn't doing it in the same area as you.

Whoa, the swearing started, peace out!

Potluck weddings are tacky. I would RSVP no.

I wouldn't do it. My mom threw the curve ball earlier saying she wanted to get married 2 weeks before my marriage, and I was extremely insulted. Then again it's my mother not my cousin.. I'd still play it safe and kind. She had her date set first. Pick a different one.

In august I'm travelling to attend my brother's wedding... my mom suggested we have our engagement party while we are there, either the week before or the week after (because so many other family members will be present which is a rare occasion). I immediately said no, it just wouldn't be fair to my brother and FSIL and I know FSIL would be super unhappy about it (rightfully so). People are travelling there specifically for their wedding, that time really should be about them.

No potlucks. There is no culture that thinks it's okay to make your relatives cook and work at your wedding.