Can I get married a week before my cousin?

I think it would be tough on your family, especially anyone out of town that has to travel to one or both events? I'm not sure the type of affair (casual vs formal) is the problem. I would assess how many shared guests you have, if its a lot, its probably a lot to ask for two weddings back to back, especially for travel, vacations days from work, gifts, etc?

Sorry, she does not get the whole month. However, if you don't want to seem petty, you could have a small ceremony at the JOP with immediate family on the 20th and have your wedding next year.

If she had her date first, and you have overlapping guest lists, i would respect her wishes.

If you guys have a lot of the same guests, then yes you shouldn't be getting married the week before her. It will cause some people to have to choose between whose wedding to go to. I had to make the tough decision of making my wedding two months before my cousins. It will be OK, but still is tough for some of our mutual guests who live far, to come all the way out to NY two months a part from each other. A week would definitely not be enough time!

Now if you guys don't have many mutual guests, then I wouldn't see why it would matter. As long as you don't mind not attending each other's weddings.

I wouldn't do the week before her. That is too close. Give her time to enjoy her day. Honestly, if you want a fall themed wedding, October would be a better month. Most of September still feels like summer (and that's coming from someone who lives in a climate that has all four seasons.)

The only ones traveling from out of town will be my sister and her kids. She is coming over from Europe. Weddings a week apart would allow her to attend both. There will be overlapping guest lists as our family is closer than most. But I am not asking for gifts, only a dish to share, if you feel like it.

I do love October too, but I having an outdoor wedding (in Seattle) to cut costs. A close friend us getting married oct third which pushes me to mid month... Sounds like rain...

I would not do the week before her either. I know that i would be unhappy if a close friend or family did that to me-that's just the truth. I would plan my wedding for a different month-either before or after.

It sounds like you have already decided to have your wedding the week before hers. So why are you asking?

ETA: Wait, so you don't want to intrude on your friend, but you will on your cousin?

Plus off the topic of WHEN your wedding is, it's entirely considered very rude and against etiquette to host a potluck reception because.... well, you're NOT hosting. You don't make your guests host your wedding for you.

I wouldn't. We're also working around my cousin's wedding. We made sure to ask them first before picking a date so we wouldn't interfere with their day. Family even suggested before to not even do the same seasons so that everyone could equally focus on both weddings.

It really isn't very good etiquette to plan your wedding right before a family member's... It can be seen as trying to "steal their spotlight"... I would definitely respect her wishes; now if you had set your date first, that would be completely different, but she set hers first. I honestly wouldn't feel very good about someone doing that to me either.. Not because I need a month to be in the spotlight, but because it would show how little they cared about my feelings. You want the wedding to be a big deal, not just "oh, yeah we have another one this week."

I would feel the same as the cousin Especially with guests overlapping. At your wedding guests will be talking to your cousin about her wedding. There will probably become a point where people start talking about their plans for your cousin's wedding. At her wedding guests will probably come up to you and ask about your first of married life and how awesome it was. Guests will be comparing weddings as well.

Thanks ladies, I appreciate your input! I guess I should back off. But I'm still going to have a potluck, etiquette be damned!

I got married about a month and 1/2 after my cousin did. I would have preferred the same month because of the weather and fall leaves...or even the month before her's but I really felt like being that she got engaged and picked her date first I needed to give her a pillow of room around her wedding and for sure not get married before her. I think you will find some of your family happily makes it to both weddings and some of your family won't be able to. I think you will also find that your cousin being upset bleeds into your aunt and uncle being upset for her. Which can make things more rocky they they should or could be.

Can you get married a week before...for sure. No one owns you or your wedding but if you want to keep that relationship and make things less crazy for your family you might want to push back even just a few weeks to help give her some more room

My cousin got engaged about a week after I did. I set my date last fall and let people know- including her and most of my family. She dragged her feet choosing what kind of wedding she wanted abd finally decided on the Friday of Labor Day weekend because all the other Saturdays in fall were full. This is only a few weeks before my wedding.

It stung a little. Not because I need the whole month, but because 2 weddings in a month is a lot for my relatives. I am concerned that too many people will go to hers and then not go to mine because they would have free lodging in the city she is having hers. I am also afraid of comparing weddings- just let us both do what we want and don't compare.

Anyway, just wanted to give you the point of view of a bride on the other side of a very similar situation.

I agree with the other girls , my FSIL originally wanted to do it a month before ours and it would have been a bit difficult for their family. now its 4 month before ours so its not a huge deal.

i think that having it a week before, unless its a really small court house wedding, it might be tough for family members that are invited to both such as aunts or uncles/ grandparents that are going to be invited to rehearsal dinners and showers.

i think since its your cousin having it either 2 weeks before or 2 weeks after gives more breathing room, what do your parents say?

ETA: i just wanted to say i posted something similar to this regarding my FSIL afew months ago and was told that there is no etiquette on this.

so in the end it is up to you

As someone who had a month stretch of weddings every weekend to attend, I don't see an issue unless there's a lot of out of town travel required by guests for both. If there is, and you're at peace that they may choose your cousin instead, go for it.

And I'd chalk the casual potluck up to "know your audience." As long as they know the casual feel of the wedding up front and a dish isn't required for entrance, it sounds like a really good time. Just be sure you have enough food for a meal. I get cranky when I don't eat.

Growing up in my smallish town south of Atlanta, I didn't even know weddings were catered until my college friends started getting married. It was either cake and punch, afternoon deli trays from the grocery store or potluck. Then the internet and social media became a thing and people don't get married like that anymore down there.

I wouldn't do it simply because it's hard on any person to have two weddings in a row, cost aside.

And because at her wedding they'll be talking about how they had to bring the clam dip.

I'm the oddball. I don't see the problem, especially if the only travelers are YOUR immediate family and they'll be there for both times (hell, it might be easier for your sister if y'all were married closer, otherwise she'd have to book another flight from Europe). And if you love the date, then get the date.