Calling off the wedding...

Oh no!! I have never cancelled a wedding, but try to think of reasons why he's the wrong one for you. Is there another guy in the picture you like? Or another girl for him? Has he done anything wrong, or you just realize you two aren't as compatible as you once thought? Also, consider how long you have been together, maybe you simply don't know each other enough yet?

Hope this helps a bit....think long and hard before you make any decisions you may regret. Talk to you mom about it, or a close girlfriend.

Awwww I am so sorry! If you have NO doubt at ALL that he is the wrong guy, then as pp said, ask for help of family/friends to let your invited guests know, BUT, if there is an ounce of hope, then please, seek out help, maybe your pastor/clergyman could provide some counseling. Best of luck to you hon, again, I am so sorry.

He is rude to me and yells and me and drinks too much. His sister says she wouldn't blame me for calling it off and my parents hate him! It is awful

Well in that case, I do not blame you. Take it from someone that was in an abusive relationship for 10 years. IT SUCKED! No one deserves to be belittled nor mistreated in any way. You deserve to be loved and you deserve to be able to love back, not just for the 'sake of it'. I wish you all of the best hon, please take care of yourself and good luck, if you need to vent more, go for it. We're here for you

It's better to realize this now instead of after the wedding. If you are considering counseling or working things out, you can postpone the wedding. Then if it is not truly meant to be, it can be canceled. If you are this close to the wedding, you probably have deposits that have been paid and are not refundalbe. Some vendors will apply that amount towards a future event. You should send a note to all the guests informing them of the change, no need to go into details, just say you regret to inform them the wedding has been canceled or postponed.

Wow, that is rough....but like everyone said better to find out now than after you are married. I think it would just get worse after you are married. I thought i was in love with someone for 15 years who treated me like crap. Finally I left him and it took a few years before I met my FH but I am so glad I waited for him, because he is everything I ever wanted. Don't settle, If you are not happy now, chances are not likely it will get better. Just make sure he is not under a lot of stress also and maybe this is just a passing phase...Good luck to you....

I'm so sorry Better to find out now instead of getting a divorce. Is there any way you can have your MOH and bridesmaids call your guests to let them know? I had a friend of mine who was suppose to get married but found out she was engaged to the wrong person. They had dated for 10 years but it didn't work out. She called off the wedding 2 months prior.

I'm kind of in the same situation you are in right now...and honestly, some of these people are wrong. An ounce of something you like in him is not going to keep a marriage together, you need a lot more than that. Ive been engaged for 4 months, and i actually realized when i got engaged...um, this guy is not who i picture being so happy to walk down the aisle too. and I'n actually going through all of these right now...we broke up and im not wearing my ring anymore but we still live together, he was going to move away and forget about me. We talked about it ALOT and were kind of at a stand still right now..do we stay together or not? does the good out-weigh the bad? its a tough decision. If you honestly picture yourself walking down the aisle and NOT being the happiest youve ever been and looking forward to your life together, dont do it. Do you want to be another women with a big D on her record? It's NEVER too late until youve said I do...

I am sorry that you have to cancel your wedding. But, the important thing is that you realize it now before you marry. I hope that everything works out for. Good luck and things will get better. My grandmother always said that when one door closes, another opens - meaning something good will come of this.

Connie...Heart and Soul Events

I've never done this myself but a very close friend of my husband canceled his wedding 2 months before the date. We all supported him. He wouldn't even tell any of us the actual reason of what happened for over a year, and even now I am not sure we got the full story. But the bottom line is that the people invited to your wedding are your friends and family whom love you, they will understand. If it's what's best for you then they'll all be happy you made this choice. I can understand feeling awkward about it so if you have any family or friends who are willing to help have them call down the invite list and let people know the wedding date has been canceled for now. Leave it at that. BTW, that friend of my husband who was so destroyed by having to cancel his wedding just 2 months from the day is in the healthiest, happiest relationship now and we're hoping to go to their wedding soon. SO sometimes as much as it hurts, these things end up being for the best. Good luck!

GET OUT NOW!!! I married a guy trying to tell myself that he would change.... they don't. If you don't like him how he is now, then get out while you still can. The money you've spent on the wedding so far would be NOTHING compared to what you would pay for a divorce! Save yourself the heartache and cut your losses now. I am so sorry that you had to go through this, but at least you're smart enough to realize beforehand what you need to do.

What do I do about shower gifts and wedding gifts? and my coworkers threw me a shower (I work in a school). I am going to be humiliated in Sept when everyone asks about the wedding. Do I have to call all the people who rsvp'd? I am totally in a panic. All the money I am losing is secondary right now.

I totally feel for you and I'd feel the same way. But like I said, we've been the guests for a wedding that got called off and not for one second did we get annoyed or mad about gifts we'd given or parties, I'm sure your guests will feel the same way. We felt so bad for the bride and groom that all of that wasn't even a thought. These are people who love you, they will understand. Yes they do have to be called if they RSVP'd. If I remember right, our friend actually sent an email to most of us. Again, we totally understood this and didn't press the issue. Sometimes choices that are RIGHT are the hardest to make. People will be proud of your strength and your SMARTS in making the right choice!

I am really sorry this is happening to you. Better to end things now instead of endure and regret. I hope things work out for you.

Oh I am so sorry that you are going thru all this right now. I also have to say that it is better to have it happen now. You have time to get out. You can always send the gifts back and the money that you lose really will is nothing compared to your happiness. I will keep you in prayer and I really hope that everything works out for the best your you.

I am sorry for your pain. I agree with everyone else - have your parents/bridesmaids call the guests. You really don't want to be asked 100 times why you're calling it off. I believe the proper etiquette for gifts is to return them to the people who gave them, but I'm really not sure. The people you invited are the ones who truly care about you, and they shouldn't be thinking about the gifts, but how to help their friend. Calling off the wedding is much cheaper than a divorce would be, but it's still just as painful. It's still a loss. Let yourself have some time to process it and know that you're surrounded by people who care (or at the very least we'll listen to you!)

I'm sorry to hear on the other hand it's better to know and call it off then to go through with it anyway and having to end it in divorce. Yeah you have to call the people you sent invites to or write a nice letter and mail it to everyone you sent invites to. As for the presents I don't know maybe try and give them back to the people they may not want them back. I know if I were a guest and I heard that news I would tell you to keep it or give you the reciept and tell you to take it back and keep the money to start your new more clearer life. Sorry girl but I do wish you luck.

Honey, you will look back on this one day and realize it was the best decision you ever made in your life!! I don't know you obviously, but I'm really proud of you for making a decision that a lot of people don't have the strength to make. I'm pretty shocked at a couple of the responses here asking you to just make SURE he's the wrong guy before you do anything rash, or try to work it out...no way. The fact that you even wrote those words means he's NOT the right guy!!

You have absolutely nothing to feel embarassed about. Be proud of your decision because it shows you have a whole lot of respect for yourself. Yes, return the gifts. I've known people who have cancelled their weddings and kept the gifts, and I think it was kind of wrong, even given the circumstances.

Good luck...you have nothing but more happiness ahead. you are doing the right thing!!!

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that its not working out, and I'm happy you figured this out before you got married! NO ONE should be treated like that. I think it's time for you mom to get on the phone and start letting friends and family know that the wedding has been cancelled. If you have a wedding website, post on there "Due to current personal circumstances, the wedding has been cancelled."

I hope everything works out for you and I send you tons of hugs and strength!

As for the gifts, They go back to the guest who gave them to you. And DO NOT under any circumstance, feel humiliated when you go back to work in September. If anyone at the school was invited to your wedding, they would know it was cancelled and will most likely tell anyone who asks how the wedding was that it was cancelled. And if anyone has manners, they will just ask you how you are, and not probe for answers. If someone does ask, just tell them that it was cancelled for personal reasons and say no more. If they keep probing, tell them that it's really none of their business and if they could please leave you alone this is a private matter.